AUTHOR.CALHO: If I didn't write it, I would be hitch hiking cross country to Maine and then Alaska in that order. While taking frequent breaks to spread leaflets. And sit in diners. And write on things because I wasn't at a computer. I may still do that in a few years. Writing this also helps me forget about and better understand the limitations of being human, and keeps me busy enough to allow me no free time to burn the world down.

THEMATIC.ABOUT : Collapse often. The things that hold people together and hold them apart and scatter brains. The things that make thoughts go boom. The things that ooh and aah and [expletive deleted]. Sometimes poking around the margins where responsibility ends and the only one to look to is the Original Equipment Manufacturer and say "but, I already pressed 9 for more options and the menus are exactly the same. Can you just replace it?" The answer will be: "please hold." Sometimes hanging out in dark corners. Sometimes following the train tracks. Looking for ways out and ways in and all the while sharing the things seen and heard and done and drawn and written and scorched and healed and teased and caged and dreamed along the way.

6/22/10

lit channel and ladytron and poetry

poetry channel is open @ auralport.rss on the right hand side of oem fail. the feed carries the latest bit of poetry ive shared. ill post one a day of all the old ones i wrote up through highschool and into college and then ill start writing and sharing some new ones. the radio dial finally has something else to listen to. im not all questions and rantswers. 7/10ths promise.



doin it this way for two reasons. one: looking back on my old work all i can think is how cheesy and sentimental and terrible it was. but if you ask most writers thats what theyll say about most of their old stuff rereading it years removed. hindsight is 20/20 sure, but it also makes you forget the things that were good about ... well whatever. some of it really is just shitty, but im losing focus again. REASON ONE: (im yelling at myself, yes) i get all the embarrassment out of the way first. reason two: having embarrassed myself beyond repair itll be way easier to write and share new things.

so what else is new? fuck you thats what else. nah im kidding. thats just self loathing pushing out of my throat like a half pound burger bubbling on a pony keg of warm beer. not that i had that today. what did i have today? i had a dream about murder and betrayal and a big orange and black cat. there was a lot of blood. i didnt mean to rat them out, but i didnt want to get shot either. i mean if i had to choose... ill tell you about it. ill write about it. rss for the story site is coming soon. that is 9/10ths a promise. id go so far as to say 10/10ths. we're wonderful together. or dysfunctional. maladjusted. i dont fear god. i fear what god makes people do.

///ladytron - "skools out" you know, movin on from the academic promised land and the baggage and the rails and the contracts and the debts of it all... its been freeing. like truly freeing. like the last time i felt this free was the end of highschool almost a decade ago. the simplicity of this song. the tiny keyboard. the graininess. it captures that feeling. that whiff of undeveloped potential to be and do anything or nothing while you watch the sun set and touch a flame to a cigarette you didnt really earn but are gonna smoke anyway because the moment is right and no one can tell you different because they know it too. its good to let go when you actually have the power to make the choice.
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