Manifesto (just kidding)

It's tempting to construct manifestos when things don't go your way. Tempting to take the bum raps you keep getting and try to think of a way to correct everything wrong that's happened to you, letter by letter, number by number until you arrive at a list of things and virtues that can correct the world once and for all and make it, not only a place in which your alternate self who experienced all of the positive outcomes you have been deprived truly exists, but a world in which everyone's alternate selves experience every positive outcome they possibly can while only actively subtracting the negative and leaving the ceiling open for the positive (perhaps they won't experience as positive an outcome as they would have previously, but the potential would still be there).

So enough about that shite.

Everybody's different. Some people will never understand how to be people. How to be human. I myself am much closer to being feral, to identifying with the senses and sensibilities of the higher functioning animal kingdoms than the lower functioning partitions of society. I don't know if I'm the right person to ask what it is to be human. I'm comfortable there. I suppose if I had to choose which side of that fence I wanted to stand on, I know what side I'd pick. I can't hold it against the people that have never been down that end of the spectrum if they don't understand how to relate. I can fucking still hate them though. For a little while. And then I get bored because I can howl as hard as I want into that wind coming down from where they are, and they'll never hear me clearly. And then I get back to rooting around my woods for things to eat and things to do and other wolves with which to play.



Ire. It's there. There is no ire extinguisher. I can break all the glass I own, but inside those cases there is only an ax with which to fight the fire. Swing away. Go find a patch of grass that is not burned to crisp ash. Roll around for a bit. Run off into the burning woods again after the scent of the something gorgeous, eyes wilder, mouth drawn back from teeth and hungry for something fat and slow. And happy to feel my lungs beating against my smoke stained ribs. Just break glass.

Don't invite me to your pity party. I'll drink all the liquor and toss back all the punch and go dancing on rooftops singing praises to the moon and starry ash smudged sky. I'm not without compassion. It's just something that's hard for me to understand. To feel and synthesize and give back. Sympathy yes. I can understand that. Sometimes I feel like my heart is the bleeding heart of a broken little girl fallen into a ravine in the Black forests of Germania, but my head is screwed on with steel lag bolts and filled with enough warheads, .50 cals, and trigger happy children to stage a military coup in darkest Africa and enough warpaint to terrify the most elaborate and landed samurai. I do my best to feel. And then I take what's left and make sense of what I read back from the dials and switches.



///El-P - "Love Theme" ...love though, I guess that's one thing that stays the same, but even that... the understanding fractures. As if the symmetry alone is a prescription to live. The world is busted, learn to live in it and treat people right. No manifestos necessary.

biteNuker

30 rock. season 1 season2 season 3. theyre all there. mweh. theyre all there. its a hit and miss show with lots of misses and a couple hits per show.

its not weird or interesting. i guess its typical. its a typical show. about as funny as the simpsons are now... or family guy is now. i dunno. you watch it for the two to four hits. its like playing a mediocre video game with an awesome momentary animation. sure, it does make good points with good story arcs most of the time, but so do a lot of shows. the show is a lot like i would imagine a mixture of the simpsons and seinfeld would be. its like hmmm 30 rock is like if the characters from seinfeld only redeemed themselves once a season instead of at the close of every episode and they lived in a world as bent as springfield except instead of towny jokes there were all city and racial jokes.

it passes the time. much like that mediocre video game that you might plug away at for an hour or two so you can see the two minutes of cgi video or finally push the right sequence of buttons to make the main character to something awesome. sure you wasted 58 minutes or got frustrated mashing buttons till you finally got it right... but when you did get it right it was pretty damn cool.

and thats why i watch 30 rock. not that you were wondering. i will tell you this though. tina fey is the LEAST interesting part of the show. by far. maybe the show needs her for that reason. maybe she needs the show to keep her face on tv. i dont fucking know. shes not funny. shes not even the lisa simpson or marge simpson or elaine. shes just sandy, soggy, perpetually insecure, slightly awful to look at (she always looks like shes about to either vomit or crap her pants or sneeze and her tits are usually trying to fall out) and generally grating. i guess she just reminds me of high school girls. oh well, who the fuck cares. im still going to watch. ill just blur my vision when shes on screen and muffle my ears when she talks.

///kid koala -"bonus materials on the set of fender bender" you know those songs that make you wanna just ride a fixed gear bike in noonday sunlight down a packed dirt main street market square on your way to your favorite pond to skip rocks and watch enormous gold fish swim? well you know one now.

great depression is over 06/05/06

Subject : Great Depression is Over
Posted Date: : Jun 5, 2006 8:14 AM

The great depression is over. We won. We may have lost the adamson awards but to hell with those and pass me a fuckin beer because its time to start the government funded projects and get this economy of words on the mutha feckin road to recovery.

There's no sense in stuffing my creativity in the closet of work a day world maturity because if you're a writer and you can't multi task between "real world" responsibilities and your real passion then something's going to be compromised and itll probably be your imagination. Of course im actually saying this to myself right now. the you is me.

I didn't want to come back until i had my own website to post on and toy with but it seems like this is going to be as close as i can get to creating my own venue (the dollar strikes again). i may not have returned with a website to my name but i do return with a fine skill set that lets me play with html code like putty and that is exactly what i intend to do. i will forge a myspace page befitting of my greatness (which aint so great, but i dont care because i think i am and that's all that matters) and let loose the goldfish of war.

the great depression is over and nothing gets things going like a good old fashioned war. (insert battle cry here)