about being alive and unmedicated yet is being able to feel the highline and know that laughter coming out of your face is a part of the genuine and honest to goodness you and it is lovely!
Clean with alcohol only. Do not attempt to replace blown fuses. Do not remove access panels. Return to certified mechanic for regular maintenance. Made in the USA.
6/29/17
6/21/17
That Instant
you've been running all day and get home and are hungry enough that you microwave three individual french fries to nibble on while the rest cycle through the toaster oven.
6/17/17
Rehearsing Language and Opening Up
I am severely conscious of the... I'm not sure what to call it.
Effprglslshsklasl;khkl;sdhl;shl;0o4w90ahrh9poavsnioewjnkl 4w3,m wa4em,. zsvdfvsdab;s vbuio;sdn.sdganm,.asb,.ab;sdfubiosvadfniodsnjk;asdflwsqnio;ewaiofwerinjkfdafiubnl;guio;jkmnsdfdzxc vkBDJZX vsikDJKZB uDKZFGBdfc sadjz
It's easy to fake it.
Having trained for so many years. Changing the resolution of the lens, I know we are still in metal jail. How many yards can you be trusted to go out? Three. So What's stopping you? A fifty caliber through the hips. Oh. That's a bummer. I know, right? I don't know. A ballistic saw? Sure. Yeah. I know what that is.
Is that what is sawing your mind in half or is that what is stopping you?
What is stopping me is trying to talk around what I cannot say. Playing with schizophrenia has been an okay proposition.
We were backed into a corner and we nosed our way back to the racing line and that is fine. It's not sadness, its not depression. PlEASE help me. LOL LOL please help me. It doesn't hapen all of the time. Please help me. No bame. No face. No name.
It told me it's name once.
I couldn't repeat it. Syllable for syllable. I just want to know what you are. Can I ask?
Ask me, I will eat it. I may be able to sort
I can't
I've already invoked and called by name roundabout. Strength in numbers, right? Right??
I'm on my own. I'm on my fucking own again. I am on my own again. Shit. And I have to sleep. Sleeping is fine. I actually do not mind most of the things that come back through the dreaming door. I am already familiar with many of them. Many of them live with me on a daily basis. I didn't sign up for this. "It's all in your head."
Please, shut it off.
I will not cry today.
GET BACK
I have been rehearsing conversations and tones and word selection. My communication skills have been atrophying. Without constant work, anything can ivy to brick.
I've been playing through conversations and cross table and rhetoric and gusto and light and small talk. It's been going okay. It has been passable. I am learning better when to shut my trap and when to jog along. Some memories still open while I speak with my siblings. I don't understand and do at the same time why I locked those memories away. I am sad and vicious at once. Sad and joyous at once. Vicious and joyous and sad and nostalgic and love filled and cuddly and mute and enraged at once. Is it really too much to ask to hack the crest of your ear off to keep in a box after it has dried in the sun? I'd give you a portion of mine, equal to or greater than. I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
glitch********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
///IV i opwn my ams ad eh we breathe thlnd ad seeeeea werrckkkks nd gleeeeee weee run ddddjjsklttteeeekrrnmmglllllll shh
Effprglslshsklasl;khkl;sdhl;shl;0o4w90ahrh9poavsnioewjnkl 4w3,m wa4em,. zsvdfvsdab;s vbuio;sdn.sdganm,.asb,.ab;sdfubiosvadfniodsnjk;asdflwsqnio;ewaiofwerinjkfdafiubnl;guio;jkmnsdfdzxc vkBDJZX vsikDJKZB uDKZFGBdfc sadjz
It's easy to fake it.
Having trained for so many years. Changing the resolution of the lens, I know we are still in metal jail. How many yards can you be trusted to go out? Three. So What's stopping you? A fifty caliber through the hips. Oh. That's a bummer. I know, right? I don't know. A ballistic saw? Sure. Yeah. I know what that is.
Is that what is sawing your mind in half or is that what is stopping you?
What is stopping me is trying to talk around what I cannot say. Playing with schizophrenia has been an okay proposition.
We were backed into a corner and we nosed our way back to the racing line and that is fine. It's not sadness, its not depression. PlEASE help me. LOL LOL please help me. It doesn't hapen all of the time. Please help me. No bame. No face. No name.
It told me it's name once.
I couldn't repeat it. Syllable for syllable. I just want to know what you are. Can I ask?
Ask me, I will eat it. I may be able to sort
I can't
I've already invoked and called by name roundabout. Strength in numbers, right? Right??
I'm on my own. I'm on my fucking own again. I am on my own again. Shit. And I have to sleep. Sleeping is fine. I actually do not mind most of the things that come back through the dreaming door. I am already familiar with many of them. Many of them live with me on a daily basis. I didn't sign up for this. "It's all in your head."
Please, shut it off.
I will not cry today.
GET BACK
I have been rehearsing conversations and tones and word selection. My communication skills have been atrophying. Without constant work, anything can ivy to brick.
I've been playing through conversations and cross table and rhetoric and gusto and light and small talk. It's been going okay. It has been passable. I am learning better when to shut my trap and when to jog along. Some memories still open while I speak with my siblings. I don't understand and do at the same time why I locked those memories away. I am sad and vicious at once. Sad and joyous at once. Vicious and joyous and sad and nostalgic and love filled and cuddly and mute and enraged at once. Is it really too much to ask to hack the crest of your ear off to keep in a box after it has dried in the sun? I'd give you a portion of mine, equal to or greater than. I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
glitch********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
///IV i opwn my ams ad eh we breathe thlnd ad seeeeea werrckkkks nd gleeeeee weee run ddddjjsklttteeeekrrnmmglllllll shh
6/12/17
Part One: Be A Better Lensman
Just because you know you are going to die (at some point) does not mean that everything and anything you talk about is tied to it. You've learned how to exist without constant diagnostics. There is no tasklock key.
A lie.
There is.
The tasklock key, is not tied to ...
Oh, for fucks sake, lighten up. Can you do that for me?
///yes
A lie.
There is.
The tasklock key, is not tied to ...
Oh, for fucks sake, lighten up. Can you do that for me?
///yes
6/10/17
The Two Way Metaphor Gate
In building short hand, a degree of expression is reached that can and does generate the rare joy of identity and naming. Mapping. Map with as much resolution as can be mustered. How else can a clearer understanding be reached! Shouting is not permitted. How else can a clearer understanding be reached. How else can a clearer understanding be reached?
From its surface metaphor appears lazy. Jagged. Elliptical. Fragmented. Excessive. Dumb. Misguided. Glittery. Vain. Hyperbolic. Binary. From its surface it's a lot of things, directly below perception it is incandescent. A bit of metal chewed fast and friction enough to trace a retina and leave shades.
It is one of the few things all languages have in common. A short hand.
Some mental disorders may fall just outside of the curve of the metaphorist. Not in terms of comprehension, but in terms of time. Around folks speaking the common language and sparking, some will see the shades and some will project the shades and be able to predict from the point of a sound.
The problem, a problem, arises with metaphor's other power.
In its ability to link ideas and present a universe whose limits, as humans, are the speed of salts in brains and quantum entanglement, it can also cross time. Places and spaces you've never been and people you've never known. Places and spaces no one has ever seen and places and spaces heard of dreams.
I guess what I'm saying is consciousness of metaphors power can unleash and enable some ridiculous and unaccounted for futures. It can describe the present you are in to people you will never meet in the future. It can describe someone's past you've never met before in all of your days on Earth or in space or outside of the common dimension. It can define the undefinable. Free the interned and capture the holy. It is powerful and infinite. Innocent and horror. Dirge and beautiful.
As close to time travel as humans may ever reach. With metaphor, the past is present - the future too - all in the space of a gesture, a syllable, a smell, a touch - a note. A one. A zero. In sequence. That's why it is a two way gate. Futures can be created inside of them and the past can manifest with a breath and a blink through the same swinging door.
///Dirty Projectors & Bjork - (When the World Comes to an End) for a long time
From its surface metaphor appears lazy. Jagged. Elliptical. Fragmented. Excessive. Dumb. Misguided. Glittery. Vain. Hyperbolic. Binary. From its surface it's a lot of things, directly below perception it is incandescent. A bit of metal chewed fast and friction enough to trace a retina and leave shades.
It is one of the few things all languages have in common. A short hand.
Some mental disorders may fall just outside of the curve of the metaphorist. Not in terms of comprehension, but in terms of time. Around folks speaking the common language and sparking, some will see the shades and some will project the shades and be able to predict from the point of a sound.
The problem, a problem, arises with metaphor's other power.
In its ability to link ideas and present a universe whose limits, as humans, are the speed of salts in brains and quantum entanglement, it can also cross time. Places and spaces you've never been and people you've never known. Places and spaces no one has ever seen and places and spaces heard of dreams.
I guess what I'm saying is consciousness of metaphors power can unleash and enable some ridiculous and unaccounted for futures. It can describe the present you are in to people you will never meet in the future. It can describe someone's past you've never met before in all of your days on Earth or in space or outside of the common dimension. It can define the undefinable. Free the interned and capture the holy. It is powerful and infinite. Innocent and horror. Dirge and beautiful.
As close to time travel as humans may ever reach. With metaphor, the past is present - the future too - all in the space of a gesture, a syllable, a smell, a touch - a note. A one. A zero. In sequence. That's why it is a two way gate. Futures can be created inside of them and the past can manifest with a breath and a blink through the same swinging door.
///Dirty Projectors & Bjork - (When the World Comes to an End) for a long time
6/8/17
That Instant
the catch tray release on your three-hole-punch hitches and you accidentally release 600 tiny dots of paper into the wild.
6/1/17
Expired Milk
It's only been three days.
Yesterday the cereal tasted fine.
Tomorrow the coffee will be good.
Besides, the heat will destroy the bacteria.
The mold? Bacteria. Viruses come from living things.
Living things? I'm pretty sure.
It's only been six days.
Someone has to smell it.
It's probably still good.
The coffee will be fine tomorrow
and besides, one more day is all
until more cereal is bought
along with another quart of milk.
If it doesn't pass the eye test
We'll toss it. Sometimes the carton
can make it smell weird.
It's only been nine days.
Yesterday the tea tasted fine
after ten cigarettes
and no one was violently ill.
The shake test will tell us
all we need to know and besides
It's only been ten days.
Yesterday the cereal tasted fine.
Tomorrow the coffee will be good.
Besides, the heat will destroy the bacteria.
The mold? Bacteria. Viruses come from living things.
Living things? I'm pretty sure.
It's only been six days.
Someone has to smell it.
It's probably still good.
The coffee will be fine tomorrow
and besides, one more day is all
until more cereal is bought
along with another quart of milk.
If it doesn't pass the eye test
We'll toss it. Sometimes the carton
can make it smell weird.
It's only been nine days.
Yesterday the tea tasted fine
after ten cigarettes
and no one was violently ill.
The shake test will tell us
all we need to know and besides
It's only been ten days.
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