AUTHOR.CALHO: If I didn't write it, I would be hitch hiking cross country to Maine and then Alaska in that order. While taking frequent breaks to spread leaflets. And sit in diners. And write on things because I wasn't at a computer. I may still do that in a few years. Writing this also helps me forget about and better understand the limitations of being human, and keeps me busy enough to allow me no free time to burn the world down.

THEMATIC.ABOUT : Collapse often. The things that hold people together and hold them apart and scatter brains. The things that make thoughts go boom. The things that ooh and aah and [expletive deleted]. Sometimes poking around the margins where responsibility ends and the only one to look to is the Original Equipment Manufacturer and say "but, I already pressed 9 for more options and the menus are exactly the same. Can you just replace it?" The answer will be: "please hold." Sometimes hanging out in dark corners. Sometimes following the train tracks. Looking for ways out and ways in and all the while sharing the things seen and heard and done and drawn and written and scorched and healed and teased and caged and dreamed along the way.

10/26/05

stupider than paris hilton

Subject : stupider than paris hilton
Posted Date: : Oct 26, 2005 11:27 PM
i am stupider than paris hilton. this dawned on me today when it occured to me that all of her less savory and reprehensible exploits are actually marketing moves under the guise of being a jetsetting bimbo slut face with too much money and no one to do. In comparison all of my stupidness is actually just me being stupid. I am unmarketable as a human being. At least on the surface i am unmarketable as the lap dog I intend to be.

I suppose if i am going to continue to pursue my career as a kept man i will have to change the targeted bracket of ditzy older women looking for a neat and tidy lap dog papyone. i think my new target will be the prim and prude on the surface older woman looking for the refined but otherwise rough finished husky pinscher mixed breed that chases the mailman, mauls exboyfriends, and over confident yuppies at her cocktail parties and tears up her slippers when she leaves him at home all alone.

that said, i would also like to point at an example of my stupid behavior involving a small friendly scuffle that ended up leaving me with 7 stitches and a scar on my head. damnit! there go my chances of modeling in the upcoming cmu fag pageant. ah well. this move was stupid and did not land me on the cover of tabloids to put my clothing label in the limelight or direct people to watch my new series on mtv to see if i really act this way all the time. i suppose however that it did further my end goal of being a slightly gristled kept man with a swagger that leaves everyday pool boys peeing their little pants and double life bdsm 50+ y/o women wetting their little panties.

nevertheless i still feel more stupid than paris hilton. and that is one dumb bitch. i need a marketing staff on my side to spin my life into a staple of pop culter and give me cool things to say and then patent/trade mark them into icons that appear in trend riding television shows, commercials, and sex ads. FUCK how will i ever make it into mtv's "hot brat bastards of the week" when i keep shooting myself in the face? guess ill have to settle for a spot on vh1s "awesomely unsuccessful but still okay to mention nostalgically" list with the likes of 4 non blondes and the spin doctors.

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10/13/05

e is for ass hats

Subject : e is for ass hats!
Posted Date: : Oct 13, 2005 1:03 PM

so i have recently found myself crawling through myspace only to stumble upon the emo pinings of some sad dreg of emo space. i suspect he sucked his way across the sub ether of webspace and found an audience on myspace. why this happens is amazing to me. well not amazing but more like befuddling.

what the fuck is so attractive about some poor gent who is convinced all he wants is to be alone AND wanted!!! what the hell does that mean! i defy you to tell me what it means when someone says they want to be a shadow and at the same time keep whining that no one cares about who they really are. fuck them. who they really are obviously must suck since they don't even want to be who they are. it makes no sense.

and on top of all of this is the poetry. as a poet i have written and cried over my own weepy pathetic work through high school but god damn it you emo slut face ASS HATS... why don't you evolve. move on. alright dont want to evolve becasue bitching is what you're good at? fine. dont move on. but at least GET BETTER AT WHAT IT IS YOU FEEL DRIVEN TO DO. which is spilling your little guts at the drop of a hat to all the wet shouldered women who find it attractive. you sorry man slut. I am shamed (or at least the poet in me) every time you put fingers to keyboard because all you write is the same garbage over and over and over... and if not that then you are stealing some reputable artists work and construing it to fit the molds of your DRIVEL.

i hate most of you because you have no style. i hate some of you because you can't fucking write to save your "worhtless, misunderstood" lives. and the rest of the ones i hate because people actually buy your crap day after day after "pathetic-suicide-contemplating-quivering-beneath-the-cold-blanket-of-death-taking-your-never-ending-last-breath-but-refusing-to-die-for-the-benefit-of-the-rest-of-the-world-because-its-how-you-fight-the-quote-unquote-unbearable-lightness-of-being-(a-douchebag)"day.

for the love of god SHUT THE FUCK UP for once... or are you afraid you'll lose your little fan club of sympathetic robots who think they understand but never really can (which makes you better than them right?). argh.


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