are awful movies. Mr. and Mrs. Smith? Suuucked. you mean to tell me first of all, that her noodle arms can do half of the things shes supposed to be doing? accurately? repeatedly? i mean come on. the world of pornography tells me that most girls with arms that fucking anemic cant finish off a hand job single handedly... let alone finish off a cock thats been warmed over by 45 minutes of bed breaking sex (not that that actually happens in the real world unless you do a few lines of body numbing coke first). i mean really? legs that thin couldnt carry that kind of body armor on that body for more than five minutes unless it was being carried in a shopping cart.
not to bash on the lady action heroes but bitches is runnin wild. makes no sense. okay fine, the human body is an amazing thing. ill grant you that. pain tolerance through the roof, sure, that too, who cares. i think guys and girls probably bear up the same under duress in combat situations anyway. id probably rather give birth than have my knees blown out with a .45 or have a bomb blast shatter the bones in my legs. fine. doing flips and shit... okay. ive seen the olympics. its doable. buuuut not with that body. maybe like venus williams body. or some other ridiculously jacked (for a girl) body.
"but the guys arent totally jacked, waah youre full of shit..." am i? have you watched professional combat anything. sure there are hyper jacked dudes, but most of them arent ridiculously cut from marble or anything like that. so i could understand the guys doing similar things without an eye popping amount of muscle. but most importantly, inevitably, we run into the head shot problem in these movies. dumb one liners are unavoidable. always have been in any buddy cop movie... but in the guy girl variety they come with that special blend of "buut shes a girl... she cant shoot guns or do guy stuff" tom hanks pitched humor delivered with the subtlety of SNL. but the head shot problem. youd think someone... anyone would get lucky. i went shooting for the first time and yeah i used maybe 30-ish rounds... maybe 40... but i still got 5 maybe 6 bullseye. just pulled em right out of my ass. my eyes were completely closed cuz shooting was just that jarring and i kept flinching... but still thats about a 6% head shot rate... by accident. if these goons are firing off hundreds of rounds every MINUTE someone should be able to hit jolees apple head at least once. by accident. and if not her head than somewhere on her unprotected paper thin frame.
and am i to believe that .... whatever. losing interest. as we type. greenberg is gonna suck too. another sad jewish guy just cant find happiness in life because he hates everything. awkward relationship jokes, go. awkward past relationship jokes, go. cue every single woody allen flick meets every single adam sandler flick meets ben stiller getting old and contemplative meets .... i dunno.... meets a donkey dressed as a mule out on the town looking for some hot horse poonanny. is that how you spell that... poonanny. doesnt look right. looks gross. poo does not belong in that word. greenberg does not belong in this world. if jolie died today i bet the retrospective would be enough to make every single one of her million children committ suicide courtesy the angry hands of brad pitt. OR ... tila tequila will ... i dunno... insert something completely asinine and repugnant. burn.... all of them... what if there was a car accident involving those two. i dont think id be sad at all. but then i wonder .... well i dont suppose i wonder... i know someone is probably thinking that in my direction.
lethal weapon is the gold standard for buddy cop action/drama films and has yet to be dethroned. 1,3,2,4 in that order. closest runner up? the first die hard. second runner up? fuck if i know. they all blend together after that. oohhh wait... rush hour. forgot about them boys. new order.... LW1, DH1, LW3, rush hour, LW4, beverly hills cop1, LW2, RH2, the naked gun. that is all.
every time two hate filled thoughts butt heads another child is born. also every time two club rats meet face to face. thats why they only talk directly to each other via bathroom mirrors. its a service to humanity. im not going to have kids. as a service to humanity. i will fuck them up for life if i do.
///aesop rock - "gun for the whole family" clap clap encore.it sucks when some mc s are considered too cerebral to make club music. no wait... thats awesome. or... hmmm im not sure where that thought started. well its a great song that is in my opinion about the mores and quirks of violence in societies, specifically ours. and i do so love the medium i was brought up in.
Clean with alcohol only. Do not attempt to replace blown fuses. Do not remove access panels. Return to certified mechanic for regular maintenance. Made in the USA.
3/30/10
the thing is
i dont want thank yous borne of common courte-fucking-sy. i dont want you to buy me a fucking lunch of cheap ass fucking fuck me in the ass taste like shit fast food. i dont want you to make yourself food and then offer me some as a fucking afterthought cuz im in the kitchen and your fucking eating and you feel like shit cuz i just washed the god damn dishes youre eating off of you worthless fucking shit prick. i dont want you to fucking pay me. and most of all you cock lick shit on a dick stuck so far up satans bloody acidic asshole from which all that is unholy on this earth was dispensed since time immemorial, i dont want your fucking humor and smiles cuz you think its all fucking gravy cuz it aint. fuck your face hard enough to blow your jaw clear off. i hope thats what happens to you. i hope that when, since you could not do a single god damn fucking no strings attached thing out of the non existent kindness of your steaming pile of horse shit heart, when you do die ill still be around to cut the face off of your corpse and throw it in a fucking river for feral dogs to fucking devour after the fish and vultures are done with it. fuck off. when i leave here itll be too god damn soon before i am forced to see you.
fucking god damn fucking fuck
okay, micro rant. not a good way to start anything besides a drunken conversation with someone who may or may not be homeless and or addicted to amphetamines and or a person old enough to have fought in a war but whose only motivation for claiming to have done so is to to get free drinks exemplified by the fact that your knowledge of the claimants supposed theater of conflict and parties involved far exceeds said imaginary veterans own (okay i was in a shouting match with a guy in chicago not long ago and finally we got to citizenship and war and voting rights and the guy says "i was in fucking Nam, man" so i asked him what year and he said "the 70s" so i asked him where he was stationed and he said "Nam, man" so i asked him which years in the 70s aaaand it basically went vaguely on and on... what ever fuck it... i dont even know why im still mad about that. hmmm. what was i mad about.... i dont fucking ohhhh yeah.... god damn it... fucking family.
so these fucking ass wipes sit around not doing shit for each other. the food goes bad. rots in the fridge. everyone waiting for someone else to do something. FUCK THEM. fuck them. fuck them. the dirt just piles up and piles up until its unbearable to walk around barefoot in their own fucking house. the bathrooms become unusable. the kitchen sink fills up with dirty shit until you cant even pour yourself a glass of water. all the plates get used until there is nothing to eat off of. what the fuck is wrong with these MORONS. they treat their home like they dont even fucking live there. GOD DAMN IT. i cant kill them. i cant reform them. meanwhile they fucking freak out about the shit they cant control and they fucking stab their god damn noses into every inch of my fucking life and what the hell i wish i could force them to look at the two inches in front of their god damn noses. i mean... what the hell ass damn hell bitch fuck fuck fuck fuck.
theyre like three people clinging to each other and using each other to stay afloat and so are all going to drown eventually. the little sister needs both parents for absolutely everything and gives nothing back. the dad needs the mom for food, and clean clothing,and gives nothing back. the mom needs the dad for shelter and money and gives nothing back. everyone is taking. seeing people fucking behave like this makes me want to shoot myself in the fucking head. its like watching cannibals eat each other every day and somehow the following day the torn away flesh returns to be eaten again. fuck. its disgusting. none of them realizes their parasitic nature. living here is like pouring my heart and brain and time and energy into a fucking black hole.
so these fucking ass wipes sit around not doing shit for each other. the food goes bad. rots in the fridge. everyone waiting for someone else to do something. FUCK THEM. fuck them. fuck them. the dirt just piles up and piles up until its unbearable to walk around barefoot in their own fucking house. the bathrooms become unusable. the kitchen sink fills up with dirty shit until you cant even pour yourself a glass of water. all the plates get used until there is nothing to eat off of. what the fuck is wrong with these MORONS. they treat their home like they dont even fucking live there. GOD DAMN IT. i cant kill them. i cant reform them. meanwhile they fucking freak out about the shit they cant control and they fucking stab their god damn noses into every inch of my fucking life and what the hell i wish i could force them to look at the two inches in front of their god damn noses. i mean... what the hell ass damn hell bitch fuck fuck fuck fuck.
theyre like three people clinging to each other and using each other to stay afloat and so are all going to drown eventually. the little sister needs both parents for absolutely everything and gives nothing back. the dad needs the mom for food, and clean clothing,and gives nothing back. the mom needs the dad for shelter and money and gives nothing back. everyone is taking. seeing people fucking behave like this makes me want to shoot myself in the fucking head. its like watching cannibals eat each other every day and somehow the following day the torn away flesh returns to be eaten again. fuck. its disgusting. none of them realizes their parasitic nature. living here is like pouring my heart and brain and time and energy into a fucking black hole.
note to self
make a note later about how shitty guy/girl spy action adventure movies are. also about why jews seem so god damn depressed all the time.
3/26/10
i broke it
i broke my dick. i have beaten it so far into submission that it tried to run away on the underground railroad. but i caught it in the night, strangled it to unconsciousness and returned it to its rightful place. so now it doesnt feel feelings anymore. i guess one of us has to not. but sometimes i wonder if other people do that... you know, drink till they dont feel feelings. or do blow till they dont feel feelings. or if they cant do either they just masturbate mercilessly and mirthlessly until they are completely numb. which is kind of hilarious if you think about it. i mean if you get started at midnight and cant get a nut off till 4 am it might mean that you would be better off just doing a couple shots or a couple couples of shots and calling it a night.
the upside though is that my left hand is slightly smoother than my right... which still makes it the equivalent of low grit sand paper. im not sure when i stopped yankin it with the right hand. probably computers. once i needed the right hand for browsing porn collections (turning pages with a left hand is easy, but mousing over your jerking right arm cuz the mouse wont reach the left side of the desk is torture) it was obvious what had to be done.
but i mean if working the muscles on your body makes them generally bigger does working your nerve endings mean they grow more receptive or is that just the opposite. i guess its the opposite. but wouldnt it be cool if the more drugs you did the fewer you needed to do because it made the receptors more sensitive instead of just more plentiful. or wait... nope. not going there. that is way too much science and i am out of my depth in neuroscience just by saying the word.
in other news however... i need to stop saying however as much as i do... im having trouble starting sentences in story telling that dont start with he, she, it, the, and other pronouns and nouns. i feel like this comes around every few months or so when i just get very conscious of patterns in my own writing and then all of my attention becomes momentarily focused on breaking out of the pattern and then i end up writing horribly stilted trash.
i want to put more sex in my writing. its very unsexy. more sex and more technology. more tits. more guns. i used to be a very technical kind of writer...very much about expa-something. the word starts with ex and i cant think of how it ends but i did that more. but since then i guess ive shifted toward human drama driving my fiction and its an odd feeling to want to do that ex thing about technology and finding it way less interesting the people behind the control panels. i mean dont get me wrong... i still love technology as much as the next guy but for some reason the descriptions just arent there these days. well theyre there i just have to force myself to give them some eye time.
sorry for the scattered nature of this post. actually nope not sorry. i had to do it. ive been beating off waaaay too much and i had to force myself to stop and write this. not that it means i will magically start beating off less, but at least ... at least what. im not sure.
okay had to pause a minute the take away message here is that i have no idea what the fuck im talking about... but at least i didnt have to talk to myself about it. thats the takeaway. orrr that seems cheap. the takeaway message here is that if you haven't fixed the id3 tags on your music you better fix those fuckers cuz i worked on my music library for nearly 4 hours yesterday. it was a pain in the ass. i only got through the A section.thats not it either. maybe ill do a pic of the day. i like pictures. so i will. spruce up the joint. ah here it is... takeaway message of the day is: stop beating off and go do something.
///way out west - "secret" a song so full of potential that is so god damn short. maybe it was supposed to be longer than 3:36. maybe my data transfer fucked up. but i love this song. it makes me wish sunrise and sunset was 11:30 minutes long and day light was 30 minutes and then 12 hours of night. i need to live somewhere that happens. but i mean those crazy scales. yeah that works as a description. no it doesnt. the way the scales (if you can call them that) rise and fall in those skipping steps makes me envision time lapsing headlights and high rise windows winking into bright existence while cars and people speed by below and who really gives a shit cuz im on the roof watching the night sky spin around me with a j and friends and lawn chairs and a box of 40s. those nights always end way too soon.
the upside though is that my left hand is slightly smoother than my right... which still makes it the equivalent of low grit sand paper. im not sure when i stopped yankin it with the right hand. probably computers. once i needed the right hand for browsing porn collections (turning pages with a left hand is easy, but mousing over your jerking right arm cuz the mouse wont reach the left side of the desk is torture) it was obvious what had to be done.
but i mean if working the muscles on your body makes them generally bigger does working your nerve endings mean they grow more receptive or is that just the opposite. i guess its the opposite. but wouldnt it be cool if the more drugs you did the fewer you needed to do because it made the receptors more sensitive instead of just more plentiful. or wait... nope. not going there. that is way too much science and i am out of my depth in neuroscience just by saying the word.
in other news however... i need to stop saying however as much as i do... im having trouble starting sentences in story telling that dont start with he, she, it, the, and other pronouns and nouns. i feel like this comes around every few months or so when i just get very conscious of patterns in my own writing and then all of my attention becomes momentarily focused on breaking out of the pattern and then i end up writing horribly stilted trash.
i want to put more sex in my writing. its very unsexy. more sex and more technology. more tits. more guns. i used to be a very technical kind of writer...very much about expa-something. the word starts with ex and i cant think of how it ends but i did that more. but since then i guess ive shifted toward human drama driving my fiction and its an odd feeling to want to do that ex thing about technology and finding it way less interesting the people behind the control panels. i mean dont get me wrong... i still love technology as much as the next guy but for some reason the descriptions just arent there these days. well theyre there i just have to force myself to give them some eye time.
sorry for the scattered nature of this post. actually nope not sorry. i had to do it. ive been beating off waaaay too much and i had to force myself to stop and write this. not that it means i will magically start beating off less, but at least ... at least what. im not sure.
okay had to pause a minute the take away message here is that i have no idea what the fuck im talking about... but at least i didnt have to talk to myself about it. thats the takeaway. orrr that seems cheap. the takeaway message here is that if you haven't fixed the id3 tags on your music you better fix those fuckers cuz i worked on my music library for nearly 4 hours yesterday. it was a pain in the ass. i only got through the A section.thats not it either. maybe ill do a pic of the day. i like pictures. so i will. spruce up the joint. ah here it is... takeaway message of the day is: stop beating off and go do something.
///way out west - "secret" a song so full of potential that is so god damn short. maybe it was supposed to be longer than 3:36. maybe my data transfer fucked up. but i love this song. it makes me wish sunrise and sunset was 11:30 minutes long and day light was 30 minutes and then 12 hours of night. i need to live somewhere that happens. but i mean those crazy scales. yeah that works as a description. no it doesnt. the way the scales (if you can call them that) rise and fall in those skipping steps makes me envision time lapsing headlights and high rise windows winking into bright existence while cars and people speed by below and who really gives a shit cuz im on the roof watching the night sky spin around me with a j and friends and lawn chairs and a box of 40s. those nights always end way too soon.
3/23/10
dear (______):
dear adult swim:
freaknik was a disappointment mainly because i assumed t pain would have the 30 second cameo, not george clinton, bootsy and snoop. maybe they all gave to the music in some form or another, but next time i want to hear two hours of shitty rap ill roll my windows down when im stuck in traffic. thanks, fagz.
freaknik was a disappointment mainly because i assumed t pain would have the 30 second cameo, not george clinton, bootsy and snoop. maybe they all gave to the music in some form or another, but next time i want to hear two hours of shitty rap ill roll my windows down when im stuck in traffic. thanks, fagz.
3/22/10
3/17/10
dear (______):
dear japan:
your pornography has replaced martial arts in the top spot on my list of super human feats of mental toughness.
your pornography has replaced martial arts in the top spot on my list of super human feats of mental toughness.
3/16/10
...and a shave
the showering thing ive gotten used to. i can accept that as necessary enough. i mean i dont like it when i stink either. it gets annoying. i suspect mostly because im used to being clean at this point in my life and if i did just smell bad all day i would eventually stop noticing, but thats not the point. the point is there is a definite reason for showering. it hurts our olfactory nerves when people dont.
the shitting thing ive gotten used to as well. i can accept that as necessary too. in fact ive come to enjoy flushing my body of, well, shit on a regular basis. better to do it than not do it and wish to god you could. you know. those lonely mornings. youre about to be late for work. you know youve got a 45 minute car or train ride ahead of you. do you do it. do you take the chance. you do. and you regret it. because all you made was a rabbit turd but the pressure is still there isnt it. oh yes it is. youre not going anywhere for the next 15, maybe even 20, minutes. you are going to be late. bet you wish you ate that bran muffin instead of cold triple cheese pizza for breakfast yesterday. bet you wish you had vegetables with your dinner instead of another slice of double thick cream pie. but yeah. ive gotten used to enjoying regular shits.
the shaving thing i have not gotten used to. why does america hate people that dont shave. why do i have to be either A) famous B) infamous C) a pro athlete D) an award winner or E) ridiculously rich to wear a beard??? that makes no god damn sense. who am i hurting by wearing a beard? why is it that the guy with the beard has a worse chance of being hired, befriended, or whatever if he has a beard. i love my beard. i would never stop wearing my beard ever if it wasnt ripped off of my face but ridiculous policies. my beard is awesome. its comfortable, its clean, its groomed. men have hair on their faces! okay america!!! i cant fucking help it!!! i am a guy!!! i grow hair on my body. its part of being manly and awesome. when did that stop being the case. when did it become more manly to shampoo with delicate fragrances and wax your fucking back. what the @#$%@ i hate you america. i hate you so much for that reason. me having a beard doesnt affect how i do my job or how i interact with other people. it doesnt catch food or strain my soups. all it does is make my life a little brighter and you have to fucking take it away from me. hate you. whatever. there's one part of my body that i shave consistently and that is my pubes. the one place where hair is gross cuz it well if you're a guy and you sweat AT ALL and your prick isnt the size of a thimble you know what kind of strange smells and general unpleasantness can accumulate down there. but whatever. fine. ill shave my face. ill fall in line. cuz at the end of the day a job pays me money and my beard doesnt (yet, but if anyone wants to do some old school hairy manly man bangs hot chick with afro pubes on a shag rug with lava lamps in the background and a "huge" 24 inch color tube set in the foreground while her boyfriend calls her on her curly cord rotary phone and it rings and rings cuz answering machines werent within the budget cuz they were fucking expensive back then... we'll see who has the last laugh).
///Air - "Radian" that song you refused to listen to because it sounded like one of those dumb atmospheric "electronica" techno whatever tracks mushroom eating idiots who swear by pink floyd love to listen to when their high or whatever, except you forgot to turn it off and two and a half minutes in the atmosphere broke into some kind of jazz that you love to listen but never told anyone about because you thought they would criticize you for criticizing its functional synonym in a different medium but now you can understand why somebody might like that other stuff you hate but it doesnt really matter cuz youre still going to pretend to hate it anyway for appearances sake.
the shitting thing ive gotten used to as well. i can accept that as necessary too. in fact ive come to enjoy flushing my body of, well, shit on a regular basis. better to do it than not do it and wish to god you could. you know. those lonely mornings. youre about to be late for work. you know youve got a 45 minute car or train ride ahead of you. do you do it. do you take the chance. you do. and you regret it. because all you made was a rabbit turd but the pressure is still there isnt it. oh yes it is. youre not going anywhere for the next 15, maybe even 20, minutes. you are going to be late. bet you wish you ate that bran muffin instead of cold triple cheese pizza for breakfast yesterday. bet you wish you had vegetables with your dinner instead of another slice of double thick cream pie. but yeah. ive gotten used to enjoying regular shits.
the shaving thing i have not gotten used to. why does america hate people that dont shave. why do i have to be either A) famous B) infamous C) a pro athlete D) an award winner or E) ridiculously rich to wear a beard??? that makes no god damn sense. who am i hurting by wearing a beard? why is it that the guy with the beard has a worse chance of being hired, befriended, or whatever if he has a beard. i love my beard. i would never stop wearing my beard ever if it wasnt ripped off of my face but ridiculous policies. my beard is awesome. its comfortable, its clean, its groomed. men have hair on their faces! okay america!!! i cant fucking help it!!! i am a guy!!! i grow hair on my body. its part of being manly and awesome. when did that stop being the case. when did it become more manly to shampoo with delicate fragrances and wax your fucking back. what the @#$%@ i hate you america. i hate you so much for that reason. me having a beard doesnt affect how i do my job or how i interact with other people. it doesnt catch food or strain my soups. all it does is make my life a little brighter and you have to fucking take it away from me. hate you. whatever. there's one part of my body that i shave consistently and that is my pubes. the one place where hair is gross cuz it well if you're a guy and you sweat AT ALL and your prick isnt the size of a thimble you know what kind of strange smells and general unpleasantness can accumulate down there. but whatever. fine. ill shave my face. ill fall in line. cuz at the end of the day a job pays me money and my beard doesnt (yet, but if anyone wants to do some old school hairy manly man bangs hot chick with afro pubes on a shag rug with lava lamps in the background and a "huge" 24 inch color tube set in the foreground while her boyfriend calls her on her curly cord rotary phone and it rings and rings cuz answering machines werent within the budget cuz they were fucking expensive back then... we'll see who has the last laugh).
///Air - "Radian" that song you refused to listen to because it sounded like one of those dumb atmospheric "electronica" techno whatever tracks mushroom eating idiots who swear by pink floyd love to listen to when their high or whatever, except you forgot to turn it off and two and a half minutes in the atmosphere broke into some kind of jazz that you love to listen but never told anyone about because you thought they would criticize you for criticizing its functional synonym in a different medium but now you can understand why somebody might like that other stuff you hate but it doesnt really matter cuz youre still going to pretend to hate it anyway for appearances sake.
3/3/10
what we gonna do today
so what are we about today? i dunno. missing people mostly. missing friends. missing allies. missing the axis. missing the points of interest on the trip through life. when friends clear out and family is sort of worthless (well not worthless, but inaccessible and too far distant from you physically and personally to really have fun with) its just you and the universe staring at each other night after night after night.
for valentines day i beat off for an hour, watched 30 rock and ate a fat piece of pound cake, then had a cigarette and went to bed at 2 am. guess how fun that was. basically liz lemon got more action than i did. and i dont even mean sexually, cuz you'd have to be a lesbian to find liz lemon attractive (the combat boot, mustache wearing kind, not the hot blonde porno kind), i mean like she had more fun in her own miserable way than i did. which is a really really long aside.
but yeah, the universe is a very pessimistic, bastardly, thing. it has no friends. all it does is ruin peoples lives. with its infinite resources it tries to win at everything and you, with your carpet bag of tricks, try to win at anything. the universe will always win. so its never fun hanging out with just the universe. even when you try to exclude it, it finds a way to crash your private parties.
which in a seriously round about way brings me to my point. what the hell am i going to do today? i have nothing to do. well i have some things to do. actually ihave a ton of things to do.
first off, why ive been gone, again.
lots of shit. lots of anger. but some good has been made out of it. a tiny bubble of winningness that i will savor till the universe pops it and replaces it with a flaming bag of poo.
i formed a production company. bet you didnt do that over the past 30 days. what else... i wrote some stories. good ones i think. happy ones. sad ones. violent ones. i had some conversations. lots of good conversations. what else... nothing else. thats it. got some music. and beat off a lot. not that its bad or shameful. america wants people to be ashamed of all the wrong things. ill never understand that. im not sorry.
today im going to read and fall into worlds different from the one i cant otherwise get out of.
\\\chairlift - "bruises" caroline polachek, if you're reading this please send me a hug. but seriously. i think most of all i miss closeness. i hate talking to no one. thats probably the biggest reason why ive been gone. this song just reminds me of a person that i miss a lot, and we've been drifting apart and it sucks but its irreversible for the foreseeable future. hurray for human relationships and the weapons of heart destruction that are their constitution.
for valentines day i beat off for an hour, watched 30 rock and ate a fat piece of pound cake, then had a cigarette and went to bed at 2 am. guess how fun that was. basically liz lemon got more action than i did. and i dont even mean sexually, cuz you'd have to be a lesbian to find liz lemon attractive (the combat boot, mustache wearing kind, not the hot blonde porno kind), i mean like she had more fun in her own miserable way than i did. which is a really really long aside.
but yeah, the universe is a very pessimistic, bastardly, thing. it has no friends. all it does is ruin peoples lives. with its infinite resources it tries to win at everything and you, with your carpet bag of tricks, try to win at anything. the universe will always win. so its never fun hanging out with just the universe. even when you try to exclude it, it finds a way to crash your private parties.
which in a seriously round about way brings me to my point. what the hell am i going to do today? i have nothing to do. well i have some things to do. actually ihave a ton of things to do.
first off, why ive been gone, again.
lots of shit. lots of anger. but some good has been made out of it. a tiny bubble of winningness that i will savor till the universe pops it and replaces it with a flaming bag of poo.
i formed a production company. bet you didnt do that over the past 30 days. what else... i wrote some stories. good ones i think. happy ones. sad ones. violent ones. i had some conversations. lots of good conversations. what else... nothing else. thats it. got some music. and beat off a lot. not that its bad or shameful. america wants people to be ashamed of all the wrong things. ill never understand that. im not sorry.
today im going to read and fall into worlds different from the one i cant otherwise get out of.
\\\chairlift - "bruises" caroline polachek, if you're reading this please send me a hug. but seriously. i think most of all i miss closeness. i hate talking to no one. thats probably the biggest reason why ive been gone. this song just reminds me of a person that i miss a lot, and we've been drifting apart and it sucks but its irreversible for the foreseeable future. hurray for human relationships and the weapons of heart destruction that are their constitution.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)