bronchitis, herbs, and stories 02/27/07

Subject : bronchitis, herbs, and stories
Posted Date: : Feb 27, 2007 11:56 AM

ive decided im going to face my fears and watch brazil. the last time i saw this movie i was really young. it was back when mtv still had a space man logo as their chief advertising gimmick and nickelodeon still had a song to sing a long to. Rocko's modern life was still really popular and ren and stimpy was not all but forgotten by everyone except the casual stoner. The last time i saw this movie was like the first time i saw kafka... fucking frightening. I just remember a guy in a porcelain baby mask getting shot in the back of the head by some tall, dark, and blonde woman and his brains firing out through his forehead onto the camera. and i also vaguely remember another scene where there were two men in air tight suits that were filled with feces through tubes until they exploded. obviously not the best material for children.



which reminds me... i need to watch time bandits again sometime cuz that movie was really good even though it was unbelievably long and hard to follow for my 13 year old brain.

Anyway... in other news. I'm writing a parody of the emo dissillusionment black tragedy. I call it black tragedy because it is invariably laced with black comedy, despite its tragic content. Movies like the virgin suicides and american beauty (among others) really tick me off sometimes because they can get to be formulaic. So I realized that the problem isnt the formula, the problem is me. I don't like the formula, but a lot of other people love it... thus i will write a subtle parody, using the formula, to win acclaim. That way I and the other people, who hate that formulaic, unresolved ending, emotional crap, will have something to laugh to ourselves about, while the less narratively inclined readers will have something to say "oh, what a profound commentary on the humanity of adolescents and maturity impaired adults that was." a win-win and win situation.

also... having successfully gotten over bronchitis... well actually i should say having successfully begun to get over bronchitis i am considering alternatives to the occassional cigarette and i think i've found something interesting... herbs. not like pot herbs or potted herbs but like flower herbs that are smokable. they dont produce nicotine or tar when smoked and can be quite fragrant... which makes me wonder what the downside is. im pretty sure its bronchitis if smoked habitually... but if that's it then i simply wonder why people don't smoke more herbs all the time? it seems like fun. you even get a complimentary pipe with your first purchase. how bout them apples. so i think im gonna try it. im not looking for a marijuana high or anything close. I just want to see if its an enjoyable past time while I do other things like... blog... or ... read ... or something. we shall see.

///orb - "secrets" 'as we look at the weather map we see a forecast with sub-zero temperatures with tomorrows temperatures a continued mild- continued mild?' spring is coming. I can already feel it in the air. This is my favorite time of year... when it can still snow hard as all hell the first half of the week and then be light jacket and t-shirt weather for the other half. beauty.

teh never ending story 02/15/07

Subject : teh never ending story
Posted Date: : Feb 15, 2007 7:36 PM

so. ive recently become acutely aware of the difficulty in ending aim conversations and im pretty sure its just me (so no experiments are planned). Aim conversations continue on and on and when you stop talking its not like you can walk away from the person. they're still 'there' in a metaphysical sort of way. its like having a table for two and you simply decide not to say anything to this person who is sitting two feet from you because there is nothing more to say. not that its a bad thing, but still its pretty awkard. i've literally spent fifteen minutes at a time wondering if i should close the little instant message box or leave it open in case they say something else.

i mean nothing is more rude than getting up in the middle of someone's thoughts and saying 'well, its been fun. bye.' no one wants to be rude. i think im just taking it all too seirously. like body language. i take body language way too seriously. i think its because my dad always comented on my body language as though it were some ultra secret window into what i was actually thinking. not true. body language is just like words. sometimes people gesture what they dont mean and sometimes people mean what they are not gesturing. the whole system is unreliable.

elizabeth is back. my life with her is like an aim conversation that wont quit for the right reasons. its kind of strange, i suppose. i never thought i would be in this position. i never thought this position would be a good one, but it is. the burden of proof is on me this time around and im okay with that. we are still as fiery as ever. we still fight sometimes. argue. yell. all that. but its good. i like it. i love her. she's the kind of opinionated, sometimes petty, sometimes wrong, always beautiful, sometimes moody, better than me at "things that matter" person that i want to be with. red aura and all. i feel kind of weird about the idea that i may marry her (being that i still havent managed to resolve the task of graduating, still do not have a functional resume', and still have absolutely no idea where im going to end up working or how much money i will even have a chance of making) but its a dream that refuses to quit and i like it.

speaking of dreams, i dreamt i killed a fat little boy with a hammer because he was weak willed. more on that later.

///hooverphonic - "pink fluffy dinosaurs" because when you meet someone that makes you do things you never thought you would you know that person means something more to you than your heart may have let on. also because its finally snowing like its supposed to and this song makes waking up to a winter wonderland of ice covered trees magical. as gay as that sounds.

sorry ive been ha way 02/13/07

Subject : sorry ive been ha way
Posted Date: : Feb 13, 2007 9:29 PM

sorry ive been away. really i am. im very busy at the moment trying to win stuff and figure out how im going to finish college. ill be back by this weekend. i promise. i need you. really. i do.

///gus gus - "is jesus your pal." a great, soft, ballad that goes just as well with the highs as the lows. listen to it. love it.