Subject : "god called, he wants his sandals back"
Posted Date: : Apr 17, 2007 5:45 PM
yes... god is in fact on the line and would like his sandals back. im just passing along the message. he mentioned something about needing to walk on water and tap dance on eggshells... basically save the world from the forces evil while juggling three chainsaws, two penguins, and spinning a plate on a two hundred foot long broomstick with his nose while lobsters hung from his balls by their claws. all of this while winning a fire ant eating competition and shitting out an entire combination brick and extruded, galvanized, steel factory.
he also mentioned that your over the top attitude is entirely uncalled for and that your ability to walk on water, tap dance on eggshells, impregnate people with the mere thought of sex, and fart out entire arms of a galaxy, does not entitle you to belittle everyone. he suggests you take your head off your shoulders and place it on someone elses for a few minutes to see that, though you could make the universe spin around your little finger while wearing his sandals, you really shouldnt because it makes everyone else around you sick to their stomachs.
he kindly pointed out that you were only supposed to borrow the sandals for ten minutes to go to the bodega for another case of OE and to give the guy outside the store front your change. he even said he looked the other way when you whizzed behind the store hard enough to cut your name twenty feet straight down into the ground and then cut the front off the car you recognized as belonging to that guy who told you to shut the fuck up when you talked out of your ass behind his back.
he was really nice about the whole thing. very respectful. he said you were supposed to be back three days ago... and he also says if you dont return them he will remove the concept of collared shirts from mankind forever... and smite the polo player from every swatch of fabric known to man. just between you and me i think he's a little ticked... and besides, everyone really did like you more before you became a complete douchebag. you should really call him back and let him know what's up. later.
///the future sound of london - "the galaxial pharmaceutical" not a great song, not a top ten playlister, not even a really good song. just some down tempo easiness...to ease the business of isness, cuz as we all are quite aware "OMG my life is so hard, you have no idea" is the anthem of too many people's lives. chill the fuck out.
Clean with alcohol only. Do not attempt to replace blown fuses. Do not remove access panels. Return to certified mechanic for regular maintenance. Made in the USA.
4/16/07
sometimes < a poetically... 04/16/07
Subject : sometimes
Posted Date: : Mar 16, 2007 1:44 AM
i killed a joke. it was not too long ago. it involved rocco sifreddi and the phrase "you say you dance sometimes." the details aren't important... but what is important is that i have come to really respect that random filler spewing from that porn stars mouth while he makes some excuse to get girls to spread 'em. i dont condone his behavior. im pretty wholesome in that i am attracted to and lucky enough to have what i term a wholesome woman. so anyway, the point (i love to talk) the point is this: the idea of "sometimes" has made the leap from joke, to drunken rant, to killed joke, to mantra, to curiosity, to introspective reflection over the course of the past school year. case in point, the following:
sometimes my arms go numb when i hold books up to read.
my knees hurt sometimes when i slouch on subway cars.
sometimes i dance when everyone is looking.
i like to write sometimes, but sometimes id rather watch a movie.
i change my clothes sometimes, and sometimes i shower.
sometimes i laugh at car accidents.
sometimes i fear for my life all of the time.
i drink sometimes.
etc. etc. etc. the interesting thing is... those phrases carry varying loads of forcefulness, like bows being drawn to different degrees... all because of that word. and it all started with rocco's poddy mouth.
///beastie boys - "and me" the lyric and the tempo of this song counter balance eachother in that magical way that makes a severely trying experience immediately assume the lightness of retrospect. "it's push and pull- the way its got to be..." right now things are pretty difficult. but im dealing reasonably well. i really think everything that has happend up to now has been due preparation for whatever comes next. barring a thermonuclear explosion in my back yard, i'd say im ready to survive anything (except maybe rambo style torture. if anyone cuts my chest open while i am concious i will most likely poo myself and then promptly die).
Posted Date: : Mar 16, 2007 1:44 AM
i killed a joke. it was not too long ago. it involved rocco sifreddi and the phrase "you say you dance sometimes." the details aren't important... but what is important is that i have come to really respect that random filler spewing from that porn stars mouth while he makes some excuse to get girls to spread 'em. i dont condone his behavior. im pretty wholesome in that i am attracted to and lucky enough to have what i term a wholesome woman. so anyway, the point (i love to talk) the point is this: the idea of "sometimes" has made the leap from joke, to drunken rant, to killed joke, to mantra, to curiosity, to introspective reflection over the course of the past school year. case in point, the following:
sometimes my arms go numb when i hold books up to read.
my knees hurt sometimes when i slouch on subway cars.
sometimes i dance when everyone is looking.
i like to write sometimes, but sometimes id rather watch a movie.
i change my clothes sometimes, and sometimes i shower.
sometimes i laugh at car accidents.
sometimes i fear for my life all of the time.
i drink sometimes.
etc. etc. etc. the interesting thing is... those phrases carry varying loads of forcefulness, like bows being drawn to different degrees... all because of that word. and it all started with rocco's poddy mouth.
///beastie boys - "and me" the lyric and the tempo of this song counter balance eachother in that magical way that makes a severely trying experience immediately assume the lightness of retrospect. "it's push and pull- the way its got to be..." right now things are pretty difficult. but im dealing reasonably well. i really think everything that has happend up to now has been due preparation for whatever comes next. barring a thermonuclear explosion in my back yard, i'd say im ready to survive anything (except maybe rambo style torture. if anyone cuts my chest open while i am concious i will most likely poo myself and then promptly die).
4/5/07
make good 04/05/07
Subject : make good ::: destroyer goodness
Posted Date: : Apr 5, 2007 6:59 PM
i cant really fault anyone for not being able to trust me. i spend a lot of time thinking to myself about things external to me before acting in ways that i myself have trouble predicting. im bipolar with shades of schizophrenia and a control freak streak a few hectares wide. i have anger management problems and i digest personal loss as easily as i shit bricks. i like to make people happy to my own detriment, and entertain quiet thoughts of bdsm when no ones looking. the one thing people seem to be able to catch on to is that i make good.
your damn fucking right i make good. LOLERZ. but seriously... when i put my mind to something i will try to carry it out till the treads fall off, and yes its my upbringing. i dont enjoy being this way sometimes. sometimes it sucks. sometimes it makes it impossible for people to trust my authenticity and sometimes the people that are close to me can see there's something else behind my eyes i dont want to talk about. sometimes it makes life unmanageable, unenjoyable, and downright sickening. i've tried to change. i still do try to change. soemtimes i succeed. sometimes i dont. sometimes i dance. seriously.
this is the last time ill talk about love this month. promise. love is where trust is important, obviously. my ability to committ to a course should not be confused with, interchanged with, or held above my ability to love without condition. i just want that in writing. so there. im gonna be 22 soon... past the one third mark... so i dont have time to fuck around when it comes to love. fucking around is done with, was done with, has been done with for almost five years, and will continue to be done with. one of my hobbies is not seeing how many people i can fuck before i wake up in a coffee shop, having dozed off in the afternoon after a weekend bender, having missed slept throught the morning, to find im 39-still hitting the clubs for 19 year olds-unable to remember the name of the second to last person i banged-and feeling sorry for myself.
i love. i make good.
the road is winding onward... friends are getting jobs... degrees... cars... lives... world travel... etc. i am not. but if there's one thing i remember (aside from repeating the that phrase as much as possible) its that you cant let the parade outside your window ruin your perfectly good day and your perfectly good can of beer and your perfectly good creative mind and your perfectly good herb. watch the world go by? hah! i've got better things to do (which may or may not be true, but what the hell do you care). i am a reasonable person. i dont destroy yer goodness (at least not actively i hope) so dont feel bad if you think youre treading on mine. if that makes sense. in retrospect i dont think it does. but im not going to explain it. i dont have to.
the phrase is good enough on its own.
///the pillows! - "hybrid rainbow" probably the best song to listen to when the rain is just starting to let up and the last drops are catching the sunlight and firing it off in orange and amber and sorbet rays of milk and you look to the sky to see a rainbow and there's nothing there but towers and towers of clouds that look like you could climb them if you only had a rope long enough to lasso the filaments of rain still falling and dreams big enough to believe in yourself.
yes, its a very hopeful outlook. yes, i manufactured it. yes, i believe in it. yes, i will refuse to acknowledge your criticism of my opinion in this matter.
Posted Date: : Apr 5, 2007 6:59 PM
i cant really fault anyone for not being able to trust me. i spend a lot of time thinking to myself about things external to me before acting in ways that i myself have trouble predicting. im bipolar with shades of schizophrenia and a control freak streak a few hectares wide. i have anger management problems and i digest personal loss as easily as i shit bricks. i like to make people happy to my own detriment, and entertain quiet thoughts of bdsm when no ones looking. the one thing people seem to be able to catch on to is that i make good.
your damn fucking right i make good. LOLERZ. but seriously... when i put my mind to something i will try to carry it out till the treads fall off, and yes its my upbringing. i dont enjoy being this way sometimes. sometimes it sucks. sometimes it makes it impossible for people to trust my authenticity and sometimes the people that are close to me can see there's something else behind my eyes i dont want to talk about. sometimes it makes life unmanageable, unenjoyable, and downright sickening. i've tried to change. i still do try to change. soemtimes i succeed. sometimes i dont. sometimes i dance. seriously.
this is the last time ill talk about love this month. promise. love is where trust is important, obviously. my ability to committ to a course should not be confused with, interchanged with, or held above my ability to love without condition. i just want that in writing. so there. im gonna be 22 soon... past the one third mark... so i dont have time to fuck around when it comes to love. fucking around is done with, was done with, has been done with for almost five years, and will continue to be done with. one of my hobbies is not seeing how many people i can fuck before i wake up in a coffee shop, having dozed off in the afternoon after a weekend bender, having missed slept throught the morning, to find im 39-still hitting the clubs for 19 year olds-unable to remember the name of the second to last person i banged-and feeling sorry for myself.
i love. i make good.
the road is winding onward... friends are getting jobs... degrees... cars... lives... world travel... etc. i am not. but if there's one thing i remember (aside from repeating the that phrase as much as possible) its that you cant let the parade outside your window ruin your perfectly good day and your perfectly good can of beer and your perfectly good creative mind and your perfectly good herb. watch the world go by? hah! i've got better things to do (which may or may not be true, but what the hell do you care). i am a reasonable person. i dont destroy yer goodness (at least not actively i hope) so dont feel bad if you think youre treading on mine. if that makes sense. in retrospect i dont think it does. but im not going to explain it. i dont have to.
the phrase is good enough on its own.
///the pillows! - "hybrid rainbow" probably the best song to listen to when the rain is just starting to let up and the last drops are catching the sunlight and firing it off in orange and amber and sorbet rays of milk and you look to the sky to see a rainbow and there's nothing there but towers and towers of clouds that look like you could climb them if you only had a rope long enough to lasso the filaments of rain still falling and dreams big enough to believe in yourself.
yes, its a very hopeful outlook. yes, i manufactured it. yes, i believe in it. yes, i will refuse to acknowledge your criticism of my opinion in this matter.
4/3/07
all up ins 04/03/07
Subject : all up ins & all up ons
Posted Date: : Apr 3, 2007 7:03 PM
my thoughts are all over the place. they are as follows:
sorry, been away for a bit. it happens. anyway... i saw the trailer for the new transformers flick. the new trailer... and i know the movie is going to be terrible in some way that i havent thought of yet. how do i know this? because tyler durden know this? no. because its coming out on the fourth of july. nothing good ever comes out on the fourth of july with that many explosions in it. period. and if it is good... it is always over shadowed by the powerfully... movingly... tear jerkingly bad films. now i dont mind if it has a bad script. my life has a bad script but im not about to commit suicide. i will mind if it has nothing to do with the transformers universe. whoever directed it better show some 'spect to the real transformers fans.
on another note. i may have to cut my long luxurious locks. yes it is true. i didnt even look up the correct spelling for that high falutin way of saying hair. i also did not look up the spelling for that stuffy way of saying over rought. i dont care. i know im going to miss my hair a great deal, but part of me will very much enjoy being able to wash my hair with a mere palmful of shampoo instead of the usual 1/8th of a bottle. itll be soooooooo nice to feel the wind on my scalp again... and just look different from how i've looked for the past four years. you'd be jumping out of your fuckin skull too if the only way you could change your appearance was by growing facial hair.
speaking of jumping out of your skull... whats with all the "check out my cam" people around here. i kind of figured this would happen eventually... but seriously... how much money are they really making? how come no one talks about it? its not like it isnt there. the whole thing is retarded. i could be a pornstar, but since there's no data out there how am i supposed to make an informed decision! what are the health benefits? annual income? how hard is it to find work? i know i thought about this before... but now im really curious since im being bombarded by this shit show non-stop. anyway. whatever. life moves on...
to my next thing. im really not sure what im going to do once i get this degree that ive had to practically kill for. i dont want to teach little little kids because they dont want to learn. the ones that want to learn ar e so few and far between i feel like it wouldnt even be worth it to try to teach tiny kids. i'm thinking im going to have to gun for highschoolers because they, or at least more of them, will understand the importance of doing their homework and paying attention... and i could yell at them without them wetting their pants or offending their parents. the military is out. my ankles suck from too much abuse and i know i wouldnt pass a military physical for that reason (among others). I've still yet to win a writing competition on my campus so i dont know if ill be able to be a successful writer either. so i mean... i cant kill things/people for a pension... i cant sell drugs and also be married... i cant teach little kids... and i probably will never be a kept man (no job security)... so it looks like highschool teacher will be it. that way i get to help people and also have summers to write the bazillion novels i have planned out.
the one im working on now is a spoof of donnie darko and american beauty. i keep readin over the storyline and im having a hard time convincing myself its worth writing. i think ill shelve it. i really wish i knew who liked reading my stuff and who thought it was a big lot of shit. oh well.
gonna be 22 soon. here's to not dieing =)
as my closing argument i would like to say that i like feet. cute toes are awesome. my girlfriend has cute toes. they're absolutely precious. so the problem, of course is that in warm weather everyone starts wearing open toed shoes and it gets kind of awkward for me. yeah. really. it does. its like seeing everyone in their swim suits and it really does bother me to a degree. its frustrating... but it also ties back to what i originally said about images of an ideal. everyone carries images in their minds... and the reason why we say this person or that person is attractive is because they fit those images as closely as one can find. what makes two people attracted to eachother, as my theory goes, is the reciprocity of image discovery. so for me... a person who looks at women from bottom to top it gets frustrating seeing reflections of ideals so incredibly incomplete, but it is also so comforting to know that the closest match from toe to head is the person i love. sorry if thats not the case for you. i always feel a little guilty effusing about love to ppl who may not be so fortunate or just outright screwed to not be in a mostly happy situation with a significant other.
p.s. my feet smell. actually its my flip-flops. but still. guross.
p.p.s. when i cut my hair im going to turn it into a wig which i will wear at the earliest and most hillariously convenient moment.
///sneaker Pimps - "think harder" i feel like this song is one of the most organic tracks i've heard in a while. by organic i dont mean completely random and frothy with fractals and rainbows and moss. by organic i mean the song generates images and sensations of pulsations that induce in my body the urge to dance in a very swarthy, sweaty, hip grindy, breathy, kind of way. when i hear this song i feel like im inside the beating heart of some enormous whale and the party is gonna go all night.
Posted Date: : Apr 3, 2007 7:03 PM
my thoughts are all over the place. they are as follows:
sorry, been away for a bit. it happens. anyway... i saw the trailer for the new transformers flick. the new trailer... and i know the movie is going to be terrible in some way that i havent thought of yet. how do i know this? because tyler durden know this? no. because its coming out on the fourth of july. nothing good ever comes out on the fourth of july with that many explosions in it. period. and if it is good... it is always over shadowed by the powerfully... movingly... tear jerkingly bad films. now i dont mind if it has a bad script. my life has a bad script but im not about to commit suicide. i will mind if it has nothing to do with the transformers universe. whoever directed it better show some 'spect to the real transformers fans.
on another note. i may have to cut my long luxurious locks. yes it is true. i didnt even look up the correct spelling for that high falutin way of saying hair. i also did not look up the spelling for that stuffy way of saying over rought. i dont care. i know im going to miss my hair a great deal, but part of me will very much enjoy being able to wash my hair with a mere palmful of shampoo instead of the usual 1/8th of a bottle. itll be soooooooo nice to feel the wind on my scalp again... and just look different from how i've looked for the past four years. you'd be jumping out of your fuckin skull too if the only way you could change your appearance was by growing facial hair.
speaking of jumping out of your skull... whats with all the "check out my cam" people around here. i kind of figured this would happen eventually... but seriously... how much money are they really making? how come no one talks about it? its not like it isnt there. the whole thing is retarded. i could be a pornstar, but since there's no data out there how am i supposed to make an informed decision! what are the health benefits? annual income? how hard is it to find work? i know i thought about this before... but now im really curious since im being bombarded by this shit show non-stop. anyway. whatever. life moves on...
to my next thing. im really not sure what im going to do once i get this degree that ive had to practically kill for. i dont want to teach little little kids because they dont want to learn. the ones that want to learn ar e so few and far between i feel like it wouldnt even be worth it to try to teach tiny kids. i'm thinking im going to have to gun for highschoolers because they, or at least more of them, will understand the importance of doing their homework and paying attention... and i could yell at them without them wetting their pants or offending their parents. the military is out. my ankles suck from too much abuse and i know i wouldnt pass a military physical for that reason (among others). I've still yet to win a writing competition on my campus so i dont know if ill be able to be a successful writer either. so i mean... i cant kill things/people for a pension... i cant sell drugs and also be married... i cant teach little kids... and i probably will never be a kept man (no job security)... so it looks like highschool teacher will be it. that way i get to help people and also have summers to write the bazillion novels i have planned out.
the one im working on now is a spoof of donnie darko and american beauty. i keep readin over the storyline and im having a hard time convincing myself its worth writing. i think ill shelve it. i really wish i knew who liked reading my stuff and who thought it was a big lot of shit. oh well.
gonna be 22 soon. here's to not dieing =)
as my closing argument i would like to say that i like feet. cute toes are awesome. my girlfriend has cute toes. they're absolutely precious. so the problem, of course is that in warm weather everyone starts wearing open toed shoes and it gets kind of awkward for me. yeah. really. it does. its like seeing everyone in their swim suits and it really does bother me to a degree. its frustrating... but it also ties back to what i originally said about images of an ideal. everyone carries images in their minds... and the reason why we say this person or that person is attractive is because they fit those images as closely as one can find. what makes two people attracted to eachother, as my theory goes, is the reciprocity of image discovery. so for me... a person who looks at women from bottom to top it gets frustrating seeing reflections of ideals so incredibly incomplete, but it is also so comforting to know that the closest match from toe to head is the person i love. sorry if thats not the case for you. i always feel a little guilty effusing about love to ppl who may not be so fortunate or just outright screwed to not be in a mostly happy situation with a significant other.
p.s. my feet smell. actually its my flip-flops. but still. guross.
p.p.s. when i cut my hair im going to turn it into a wig which i will wear at the earliest and most hillariously convenient moment.
///sneaker Pimps - "think harder" i feel like this song is one of the most organic tracks i've heard in a while. by organic i dont mean completely random and frothy with fractals and rainbows and moss. by organic i mean the song generates images and sensations of pulsations that induce in my body the urge to dance in a very swarthy, sweaty, hip grindy, breathy, kind of way. when i hear this song i feel like im inside the beating heart of some enormous whale and the party is gonna go all night.
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