I am circling back and taking my time to do it. Care is the order of the day. I posted some old stories to Bits. It's funny sometimes looking at how the composition has changed. How some of the sentence structure has remained the same and some has mutated.
I edited the names out. Not for protection against embarassment, but because it was a collective effort and the whole idea about collective effort is not knowing who contributed what to make the final product. More than that though, I was trying to hide my voice. I want to rework that story. It's good, thus far, lower case letter t$$$, but seriously, it is a good start and was a good start to something really violent and heavy and it needs a good twenty to thirty thousand more words to make it polished. I'm willing to do it. You know I'm willing to do it. I just have to do it, and that's why I put it out there. That, and just to say thank you too to an old friend I ain't talked to in far too long who put a good idea in my head and then vanished. I'm on the hunt for several a thing. this is one of them. Chasing my tail.
Clean with alcohol only. Do not attempt to replace blown fuses. Do not remove access panels. Return to certified mechanic for regular maintenance. Made in the USA.
8/28/12
8/27/12
Development
I haven't transcended, but, God knows, I've tried. I will keep head banging. I will because there's no other way. Explorations and serial failures. I did not use to approach writing as work, because I never got paid to do it.
It was a hobby and still is. What changed inside myself was perspective. That and doing more reading. The reading has been tremendous. Just opportunities to see the constructions in different light. Not even different light as much as opportunities to see the same constructions spun by other brains in the same kind of light.
It's been ... refreshing.
Refreshing and disconcerting. It's been a very thorough, bridge crossed, work in progress. I can't recall being this high over so extended a period of time without gumming up the workshop. It has been silly even keeled. You and I
Where are your papers? Where is your documentation? Where is your passport and your photo identification? Where is your veteran of foreign wars certificate and your color bar? Where is your jacket and your weapon? Your cap, your boots, your wares, and your ounces of drug deals and your tears for times only you can relate to? Where the fuck is your memorial? Where are your headphones? Where is your ethic and your lorn and your degrees? Where did you leave your books and, holy shit, where did you leave your other set of keys?
///Skrillex - "Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites" ...you don't need to hide, my friend, cause I am just like you...
It was a hobby and still is. What changed inside myself was perspective. That and doing more reading. The reading has been tremendous. Just opportunities to see the constructions in different light. Not even different light as much as opportunities to see the same constructions spun by other brains in the same kind of light.
It's been ... refreshing.
Refreshing and disconcerting. It's been a very thorough, bridge crossed, work in progress. I can't recall being this high over so extended a period of time without gumming up the workshop. It has been silly even keeled. You and I
Where are your papers? Where is your documentation? Where is your passport and your photo identification? Where is your veteran of foreign wars certificate and your color bar? Where is your jacket and your weapon? Your cap, your boots, your wares, and your ounces of drug deals and your tears for times only you can relate to? Where the fuck is your memorial? Where are your headphones? Where is your ethic and your lorn and your degrees? Where did you leave your books and, holy shit, where did you leave your other set of keys?
///Skrillex - "Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites" ...you don't need to hide, my friend, cause I am just like you...
That Instant
You realize you've been gunning through the years, slipshod, but doing the best you could and it's still not good enough for the people who know you, but good enough for you.
And the qualifier is still hanging.
And the qualifier is still hanging.
Ramping Up
I have been ramping up to this, and I have been a little bit absentee as well. Side by each. It has been tough getting back to here. Circuitous. Among other words and expletives. It has been a very difficult cycle of days. I do not know how else to place it. Everything is back where it belongs. A lot of argumentation internal. It catches up with you and before you know it you are dying while still breathing.
It;s been tough though. But what hasn't? Production has lapsed, but what is avoidable? Art is up however. Graphics. Graphics and graphic design. It;s tough sometimes when people talk to you and say they/re artists, but you know in their hearts they are not. It ruffles feathers and rumples collars. It's difficult to tell them otherwise because, in the telling, you are admitting skill and I have a hard time, still, admitting that I know what I'm trying to do, for the most part, on easels. Given easels.
If you look at your reflection, sometimes what you see is not what you know you could be, given everything that came before; that hesitation, those devils and those guns, are what keeps me from being a shameless self promoter, but are you hiding in the trees?
The point is that it is all an elaborate dream and there is no way you can spin manslaughter 2 into mistaken identities and a lack of coverage or maybe it's just black town. I don't know. Hard decisions. I know how much you are supposed to take, but how much am I supposed to take. Against the wall. Am I supposed to want sex or is sex supposed to want me. Is the BIC pipe a one hitter in the sense that you use it once or is it a one hitter in the sense that you can't light crack twice?
I don't know where to go from here, but I'm not quite sure if I should be so entertained with the idea of the opportunity to leave. Cash money, mother nucca. It just drives the nerves sometimes. It's hard to admit failed suicide attempts. What you can do though is tape up your wrists and throw some fists.
Not to get oxygen necessarily, but just to get inside your britches. Feel your (can't spell it) huch spa. Feel your id on the outside and taste a little blood, instead of digesting it. There's too much blood and sunlight to go around. I am trying to draw a line between pretending and good acting and I am having a difficult time of it.
Sometimes things go down in a fashion that breaks your heart. Sometimes your older sister whiffs on painting your nails. Sometimes things go down in a way that throws shit out of whack. Sometimes the throwing is enough to reframe ideas about things you've been mulling. I don't know if this is better or worse than talking in third person. It is difficult to be concerned.
What was I going for? Chronic masturbation. No, Laughter. Nod your head because I know that I;m right. I'm not the capital G. I'm not nothing either. Hang out with me in the middle ground. I swear I'll love you like I've never loved myself. Andd I won't promise to make you happy. And I won't promise anything more than 18 hours out, but I will. I won't, but I will give you one year with the dragon in one day and rape is a device of the lesser and if you would be considering kissing me now I would not be opposed
to standing there
///track not found - lets get back up on that horse. I'm sorry I left you. Please be kind. I'm coming out of left field in a full sprint out of the clear blue sky
It;s been tough though. But what hasn't? Production has lapsed, but what is avoidable? Art is up however. Graphics. Graphics and graphic design. It;s tough sometimes when people talk to you and say they/re artists, but you know in their hearts they are not. It ruffles feathers and rumples collars. It's difficult to tell them otherwise because, in the telling, you are admitting skill and I have a hard time, still, admitting that I know what I'm trying to do, for the most part, on easels. Given easels.
If you look at your reflection, sometimes what you see is not what you know you could be, given everything that came before; that hesitation, those devils and those guns, are what keeps me from being a shameless self promoter, but are you hiding in the trees?
The point is that it is all an elaborate dream and there is no way you can spin manslaughter 2 into mistaken identities and a lack of coverage or maybe it's just black town. I don't know. Hard decisions. I know how much you are supposed to take, but how much am I supposed to take. Against the wall. Am I supposed to want sex or is sex supposed to want me. Is the BIC pipe a one hitter in the sense that you use it once or is it a one hitter in the sense that you can't light crack twice?
I don't know where to go from here, but I'm not quite sure if I should be so entertained with the idea of the opportunity to leave. Cash money, mother nucca. It just drives the nerves sometimes. It's hard to admit failed suicide attempts. What you can do though is tape up your wrists and throw some fists.
Not to get oxygen necessarily, but just to get inside your britches. Feel your (can't spell it) huch spa. Feel your id on the outside and taste a little blood, instead of digesting it. There's too much blood and sunlight to go around. I am trying to draw a line between pretending and good acting and I am having a difficult time of it.
Sometimes things go down in a fashion that breaks your heart. Sometimes your older sister whiffs on painting your nails. Sometimes things go down in a way that throws shit out of whack. Sometimes the throwing is enough to reframe ideas about things you've been mulling. I don't know if this is better or worse than talking in third person. It is difficult to be concerned.
What was I going for? Chronic masturbation. No, Laughter. Nod your head because I know that I;m right. I'm not the capital G. I'm not nothing either. Hang out with me in the middle ground. I swear I'll love you like I've never loved myself. Andd I won't promise to make you happy. And I won't promise anything more than 18 hours out, but I will. I won't, but I will give you one year with the dragon in one day and rape is a device of the lesser and if you would be considering kissing me now I would not be opposed
to standing there
///track not found - lets get back up on that horse. I'm sorry I left you. Please be kind. I'm coming out of left field in a full sprint out of the clear blue sky
8/25/12
8/9/12
8/8/12
Redesign (stealth mode, but not really)
So I'll make this short and sweet. Some updates (hooray changes). I haven't been sitting around scratching my bum and picking my nose and wishing for things to change. Well I have, but that's only half of my day. I'm on the "wish it, want it, do it" plan from the book of the same title as reviewed by Bill Maher on that show about the dog and the baby and the bad father and their crazy antics. I don't know why I did that to such detail. I think it was supposed to be funny. Progressively funnier as the details got more specific and more vague. Reverse comedy crash zoom. What was I talking about?
Oh yeah, so some updates:
The Auralport is wearing it's summer best. It looks a lot better over there (pictured here it's tinted gray) and the cloud bank drawn inside the letters really pops out bright. The design actually turned out completely different from the idea I had in my head of summer fields and woodlands. I wanted it to come out in deep greens and golds and purple and pink and as I was working on it I became more and more consumed with the steeliness of summer skies and the way power lines and telephones poles cut everything up when the sun goes down until it's too dark to see. And then the links became these bits of flame salmon that kind of reminded me of how the clouds kind of catch fire bit by bit at sunrise and sunset. So I wanted to capture some of that without making it unreadable. I'm pretty sure it's borderline unreadable as it is, but it's the right kind of hardness I was looking for. That same hardness that makes the summer sky hard to stare into some days because it is so bright and black at once.
I'm looking forward to doing the fall redesign though. I think I just do better with darker pallets and color arrays and lower contrast over there. OEMFail will always be a high contrast affair.
Bits for Flames received a little infusion of life in the form of two short short stories: The Hills at Wallston Park and Cement Head. Obvs they're not for kids. One is drama and the other is curio. I still want to do more with it, but haven't really had the courage or drive to really sit down and tear something big off there. I almost toyed with the idea of doing a redesign, but then I remembered I still have to do header art for the various sub sections, not to mention finish populating them from my stock piles of google docs. Anyway, they're there for your consideration.
Times have been tough. Times have been fun. Finally regained the ability to do somethings, and learned to do some new things. It's never all bad. It's going to be a tough month though. Then again, when is it never not a tough month? I don't know. Still popping off the works over at Auralport though the traffic stats are down, but I don't particularly mind. I remember when I first started over there I was afraid someone would see it. Funny how things flip around. I'm not particularly happy with the subjects and themes lately, but I'm not sure what I'm turning toward as of yet, so I'm going to keep shaking my head like I've got swimmers ear and writing down what comes out until I hit on what it is I've been trying to say this season.
May be time to just sit down and grind out an album.
Anyway. Unannounced changes that are now announced so they're stealthy, but not really. I'm rambling. Anyway, uhm... I lived, I loved, I laughed, and then slept for 14 hours. Gnite :P
///the item you are searching for has been moved. for no particular reason at all. because sometimes that happens. bonus track available next time around. i promise (maybe).
Oh yeah, so some updates:
The Auralport is wearing it's summer best. It looks a lot better over there (pictured here it's tinted gray) and the cloud bank drawn inside the letters really pops out bright. The design actually turned out completely different from the idea I had in my head of summer fields and woodlands. I wanted it to come out in deep greens and golds and purple and pink and as I was working on it I became more and more consumed with the steeliness of summer skies and the way power lines and telephones poles cut everything up when the sun goes down until it's too dark to see. And then the links became these bits of flame salmon that kind of reminded me of how the clouds kind of catch fire bit by bit at sunrise and sunset. So I wanted to capture some of that without making it unreadable. I'm pretty sure it's borderline unreadable as it is, but it's the right kind of hardness I was looking for. That same hardness that makes the summer sky hard to stare into some days because it is so bright and black at once.
I'm looking forward to doing the fall redesign though. I think I just do better with darker pallets and color arrays and lower contrast over there. OEMFail will always be a high contrast affair.
Bits for Flames received a little infusion of life in the form of two short short stories: The Hills at Wallston Park and Cement Head. Obvs they're not for kids. One is drama and the other is curio. I still want to do more with it, but haven't really had the courage or drive to really sit down and tear something big off there. I almost toyed with the idea of doing a redesign, but then I remembered I still have to do header art for the various sub sections, not to mention finish populating them from my stock piles of google docs. Anyway, they're there for your consideration.
Times have been tough. Times have been fun. Finally regained the ability to do somethings, and learned to do some new things. It's never all bad. It's going to be a tough month though. Then again, when is it never not a tough month? I don't know. Still popping off the works over at Auralport though the traffic stats are down, but I don't particularly mind. I remember when I first started over there I was afraid someone would see it. Funny how things flip around. I'm not particularly happy with the subjects and themes lately, but I'm not sure what I'm turning toward as of yet, so I'm going to keep shaking my head like I've got swimmers ear and writing down what comes out until I hit on what it is I've been trying to say this season.
May be time to just sit down and grind out an album.
Anyway. Unannounced changes that are now announced so they're stealthy, but not really. I'm rambling. Anyway, uhm... I lived, I loved, I laughed, and then slept for 14 hours. Gnite :P
///the item you are searching for has been moved. for no particular reason at all. because sometimes that happens. bonus track available next time around. i promise (maybe).
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