AUTHOR.CALHO: If I didn't write it, I would be hitch hiking cross country to Maine and then Alaska in that order. While taking frequent breaks to spread leaflets. And sit in diners. And write on things because I wasn't at a computer. I may still do that in a few years. Writing this also helps me forget about and better understand the limitations of being human, and keeps me busy enough to allow me no free time to burn the world down.

THEMATIC.ABOUT : Collapse often. The things that hold people together and hold them apart and scatter brains. The things that make thoughts go boom. The things that ooh and aah and [expletive deleted]. Sometimes poking around the margins where responsibility ends and the only one to look to is the Original Equipment Manufacturer and say "but, I already pressed 9 for more options and the menus are exactly the same. Can you just replace it?" The answer will be: "please hold." Sometimes hanging out in dark corners. Sometimes following the train tracks. Looking for ways out and ways in and all the while sharing the things seen and heard and done and drawn and written and scorched and healed and teased and caged and dreamed along the way.

4/16/07

sometimes < a poetically... 04/16/07

Subject : sometimes
Posted Date: : Mar 16, 2007 1:44 AM

i killed a joke. it was not too long ago. it involved rocco sifreddi and the phrase "you say you dance sometimes." the details aren't important... but what is important is that i have come to really respect that random filler spewing from that porn stars mouth while he makes some excuse to get girls to spread 'em. i dont condone his behavior. im pretty wholesome in that i am attracted to and lucky enough to have what i term a wholesome woman. so anyway, the point (i love to talk) the point is this: the idea of "sometimes" has made the leap from joke, to drunken rant, to killed joke, to mantra, to curiosity, to introspective reflection over the course of the past school year. case in point, the following:

sometimes my arms go numb when i hold books up to read.
my knees hurt sometimes when i slouch on subway cars.
sometimes i dance when everyone is looking.
i like to write sometimes, but sometimes id rather watch a movie.
i change my clothes sometimes, and sometimes i shower.
sometimes i laugh at car accidents.
sometimes i fear for my life all of the time.
i drink sometimes.
etc. etc. etc. the interesting thing is... those phrases carry varying loads of forcefulness, like bows being drawn to different degrees... all because of that word. and it all started with rocco's poddy mouth.



///beastie boys - "and me" the lyric and the tempo of this song counter balance eachother in that magical way that makes a severely trying experience immediately assume the lightness of retrospect. "it's push and pull- the way its got to be..." right now things are pretty difficult. but im dealing reasonably well. i really think everything that has happend up to now has been due preparation for whatever comes next. barring a thermonuclear explosion in my back yard, i'd say im ready to survive anything (except maybe rambo style torture. if anyone cuts my chest open while i am concious i will most likely poo myself and then promptly die).

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