AUTHOR.CALHO: If I didn't write it, I would be hitch hiking cross country to Maine and then Alaska in that order. While taking frequent breaks to spread leaflets. And sit in diners. And write on things because I wasn't at a computer. I may still do that in a few years. Writing this also helps me forget about and better understand the limitations of being human, and keeps me busy enough to allow me no free time to burn the world down.

THEMATIC.ABOUT : Collapse often. The things that hold people together and hold them apart and scatter brains. The things that make thoughts go boom. The things that ooh and aah and [expletive deleted]. Sometimes poking around the margins where responsibility ends and the only one to look to is the Original Equipment Manufacturer and say "but, I already pressed 9 for more options and the menus are exactly the same. Can you just replace it?" The answer will be: "please hold." Sometimes hanging out in dark corners. Sometimes following the train tracks. Looking for ways out and ways in and all the while sharing the things seen and heard and done and drawn and written and scorched and healed and teased and caged and dreamed along the way.

10/26/05

stupider than paris hilton

Subject : stupider than paris hilton
Posted Date: : Oct 26, 2005 11:27 PM
i am stupider than paris hilton. this dawned on me today when it occured to me that all of her less savory and reprehensible exploits are actually marketing moves under the guise of being a jetsetting bimbo slut face with too much money and no one to do. In comparison all of my stupidness is actually just me being stupid. I am unmarketable as a human being. At least on the surface i am unmarketable as the lap dog I intend to be.

I suppose if i am going to continue to pursue my career as a kept man i will have to change the targeted bracket of ditzy older women looking for a neat and tidy lap dog papyone. i think my new target will be the prim and prude on the surface older woman looking for the refined but otherwise rough finished husky pinscher mixed breed that chases the mailman, mauls exboyfriends, and over confident yuppies at her cocktail parties and tears up her slippers when she leaves him at home all alone.

that said, i would also like to point at an example of my stupid behavior involving a small friendly scuffle that ended up leaving me with 7 stitches and a scar on my head. damnit! there go my chances of modeling in the upcoming cmu fag pageant. ah well. this move was stupid and did not land me on the cover of tabloids to put my clothing label in the limelight or direct people to watch my new series on mtv to see if i really act this way all the time. i suppose however that it did further my end goal of being a slightly gristled kept man with a swagger that leaves everyday pool boys peeing their little pants and double life bdsm 50+ y/o women wetting their little panties.

nevertheless i still feel more stupid than paris hilton. and that is one dumb bitch. i need a marketing staff on my side to spin my life into a staple of pop culter and give me cool things to say and then patent/trade mark them into icons that appear in trend riding television shows, commercials, and sex ads. FUCK how will i ever make it into mtv's "hot brat bastards of the week" when i keep shooting myself in the face? guess ill have to settle for a spot on vh1s "awesomely unsuccessful but still okay to mention nostalgically" list with the likes of 4 non blondes and the spin doctors.

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