AUTHOR.CALHO: If I didn't write it, I would be hitch hiking cross country to Maine and then Alaska in that order. While taking frequent breaks to spread leaflets. And sit in diners. And write on things because I wasn't at a computer. I may still do that in a few years. Writing this also helps me forget about and better understand the limitations of being human, and keeps me busy enough to allow me no free time to burn the world down.

THEMATIC.ABOUT : Collapse often. The things that hold people together and hold them apart and scatter brains. The things that make thoughts go boom. The things that ooh and aah and [expletive deleted]. Sometimes poking around the margins where responsibility ends and the only one to look to is the Original Equipment Manufacturer and say "but, I already pressed 9 for more options and the menus are exactly the same. Can you just replace it?" The answer will be: "please hold." Sometimes hanging out in dark corners. Sometimes following the train tracks. Looking for ways out and ways in and all the while sharing the things seen and heard and done and drawn and written and scorched and healed and teased and caged and dreamed along the way.

4/28/17

Dear (_____)

Dear Malcolm and Norma,

You can't hurt me anymore.  Rory Breaker put it fairly comically so I'll borrow his words for you so that I don't have to explain it again.  If you try to come see me "I'll kill ya."  If you hurt anyone I love to try to get at me  "I'll kill ya."  If you lie to other people to recruit them for your purposes "I'll kill ya."  If you try to insert yourselves into my life again before I say you can "I'll kill ya."  If you touch my sisters or brother again and it isn't a hug or a kiss "I'll kill ya."  If you have a problem or question for me and you continually take it up with someone else  "I'll kill ya."  What I'm trying to say is I'm not 6 anymore.  I'm not afraid of you.  I'm not 22 anymore.  I'm not afraid of you.  I'm not 25 anymore.  I'm not afraid of you.

It's very easy to stay alive.  But, as Rory said, "you're going to have to work very hard to stay alive" and if you don't understand the fuck I've said to you in the past-  I am waiting for you to die.  Please hurry.  Do not make me accelerate the clock on your fading years. Retire.  Your cause is lost.  You have three kids, not four.  That ain't changing anytime soon.

Sincerely

Crx24
at

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