AUTHOR.CALHO: If I didn't write it, I would be hitch hiking cross country to Maine and then Alaska in that order. While taking frequent breaks to spread leaflets. And sit in diners. And write on things because I wasn't at a computer. I may still do that in a few years. Writing this also helps me forget about and better understand the limitations of being human, and keeps me busy enough to allow me no free time to burn the world down.

THEMATIC.ABOUT : Collapse often. The things that hold people together and hold them apart and scatter brains. The things that make thoughts go boom. The things that ooh and aah and [expletive deleted]. Sometimes poking around the margins where responsibility ends and the only one to look to is the Original Equipment Manufacturer and say "but, I already pressed 9 for more options and the menus are exactly the same. Can you just replace it?" The answer will be: "please hold." Sometimes hanging out in dark corners. Sometimes following the train tracks. Looking for ways out and ways in and all the while sharing the things seen and heard and done and drawn and written and scorched and healed and teased and caged and dreamed along the way.

8/23/14

Knowing Where You Have No Business and That You Are Expected On Occassion

You don't have to front load everything you say.  You don't have to translate at the end either.  You may be coming across better than you believe.

One of the most hilarious things was the whole "they took our jobs" rhetoric at the last election and the come back that they're doing jobs we do not want to do.  The funny part was my challenge.  It's a matter of geographics and debt.  I took the challenge knowing that.  Just to see.  Because they were taking our jobs here too, right?  What I got back was paperwork.  It's a little bit a lot of bit hilarious.  If you cannot laugh at that, you have no soul.  I still get email updates on it, but I am passed caring.  Yes.  Passed.  English, the most, hands down, complicated language.

My relationship with America?  It's complicated.  And I am dating myself.  And I am dating myself too.  We wreck up sometimes.  Slang for fight, no?  Yes.  I do not agree with everything we do.  I do not.  Sometimes I am on damage patrol.  Some times I am on altitude control.  Sometimes I am just sometimes and I am, having learned, not apologetic because people do get tired of sorrys and start to ask "why the bleep do you not just do it better?"

I will not give you the run around.  I'm just American.  I'm a little gangster circa 1925 and a little modern circa "what's the date today" and a little 90's grunge and a little 80's synth, a little bit of a late 90's "get money" and a little 70's rhythm and blues, a little bit of #$%^'n disco and a little bit of late 80's space rock, a little bit of 1960 fuck you and a little bit of 1950 be easy and every one is working for something greater because no one actually wants to be here, and a little bit of drum and bass tongued in with a little bit of pop talked down through the ages and distilled and reanimated.  I'm just American and I will make no excuses.

And I will fight you.  And then discuss.  And then fight you harder because I only wanted a breather and we may as well butcher language in the mean times.  They only get meaner.

I wish I could get along with people like me.  I cannot.  I am not going to stop trying.  It is a little bit of playing with where you know you have no business being.  And you know it.  You do not understand why you are excluded.  There are the times you are expected though and you do not show up.  To reverse the two would be gold out of lead.  Less cameos.  More booked seats?  I have no idea.  What I do know is this: if they ask you if you can make it, you had better go.




///Pulp - "Like A Friend"

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