AUTHOR.CALHO: If I didn't write it, I would be hitch hiking cross country to Maine and then Alaska in that order. While taking frequent breaks to spread leaflets. And sit in diners. And write on things because I wasn't at a computer. I may still do that in a few years. Writing this also helps me forget about and better understand the limitations of being human, and keeps me busy enough to allow me no free time to burn the world down.

THEMATIC.ABOUT : Collapse often. The things that hold people together and hold them apart and scatter brains. The things that make thoughts go boom. The things that ooh and aah and [expletive deleted]. Sometimes poking around the margins where responsibility ends and the only one to look to is the Original Equipment Manufacturer and say "but, I already pressed 9 for more options and the menus are exactly the same. Can you just replace it?" The answer will be: "please hold." Sometimes hanging out in dark corners. Sometimes following the train tracks. Looking for ways out and ways in and all the while sharing the things seen and heard and done and drawn and written and scorched and healed and teased and caged and dreamed along the way.

2/24/08

practicing the arts 02/24/08

Subject : practicing the arts
Posted Date: : Mar 24, 2008 9:55 AM

its strange how as you get older you just stop doing certain things. its not so much that im not interested in them anymore. its just that i feel zero compulsion to do them. like playing with g.i. joes or building paper robots. i used to do that all the time but not so much anymore. i think in general i used to be more creative than i am now. i used to write poetry constantly and write stories too. now its starting to become a struggle to practice the arts i do so enjoy. it doesnt help that im medicated now either. i feel much less focused. i mean the medication stops me from feeling other things that i used to feel in the past but it also stops me from feeling the good things that helped me generate ideas for my work. its frustrating. is it more worth it to take the good with the bad or is it more worth it to take niether the good or the bad. how bad does bad have to be before it outweighs the benefits derived from what was so good. i cant remember the last time i went on a writing binge or felt i could focus easily on a task. maybe its time to make some medication adjustments. im really starting to miss the old me.

///bjork - "i see who you are"

I see who you are
Behind the skin
And the muscles

I see who you are, now
And when you get older later
at

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