sunrise? maybe 07/17/08

Subject : sunrise? maybe
Posted Date: : Jul 17, 2008 3:56 AM

I've been thinking about this entry for quite some time. Not this entry, the one before it. Well the one before and also this one since this entry has everything to do with what came before, in most respects.

I'm not going to degrade the concept of perfect and true happiness. Well actually just in saying that I believe everyone can recognize that there is a difference between perfect happiness and true happiness: the former stemming largely from circumstances and the latter being born exclusively from within the self. What I want to point up is that you are right. Life is not about scrounging for happiness or at least it shouldn't be.

Human's are meant to adapt to their circumstances. Adaptations don't occur in a vacuum. Stimulus is imposed on the static situation of existence and adaptation happens. What happens when the stimulus occurs is what we read as happiness, sadness, pain, insecurity, etc. What we do in respsone, how we adapt is what causes us to change, to remain happy, to lift our spirits, to alleviate pain, to frustrate insecurity etc. No person is static. If they are static then they are in affect dead within... a virtual non-person (as far as im concerned). We are always performing to either maintain our emotional levels against stimulus or to change them.

Life is not /about/ scrounging for happiness. it is about survival over varying spans of time. survival through unremitting waves of stimulus and change. stimulus that may last a moment or that may last decades. change that is destructive or constructive. sometimes it's easier to survive... sometimes it's more difficult.

the sunset moment can be easy for some to survive because it can generate happiness and contentment. but it is also a very short spanning moment. perfect happiness is easy to accept and live in and live through. but to be truly happy in such a short spanning moment one would have to be able to adapt to the stimulus of the coming night... or fall into the possible depression that nightfall may precipitate with the loss of perfect circumstantial happiness.

happiness should not be exogenously determined, but when it is it can be easier to feel true happiness. when life's stimuli are definitively negative it takes a strong sense of self to generate truthful and positive responses to adapt to them.

take me for example. not looking for any pity here, but just for examples sake consider the following:

my stimuli in life are (but are not limited to):
75k of loan debt-
joblessness-
a healthy relationship+
some self esteem+
horrible wardrobe-
satisfying location (chicago)+
hobbies+

and the list goes on. these stimuli act with varying strength over varying spans of time. debt is hugely negative and will haunt me for decades. self esteem is a little positive and comes and goes. i live in a nice city everyday. my interest in hobbies comes and goes. my clothing sucks and i have to face that everyday. and there are other things that come and go for varying spans of time... things like sunsets, a particularyly enjoyable commute to school, a nice long vacation, a visit home, a stubbed toe, a reprimand from a professor that lingers on the mind, etc. All of these things are acting on me from the outside and it is up to me to produce countervailing forces or complimentary forces from within myself to survive the ebb and flow over varying time spans.

so its (in my opinion) correct to say that life isnt about scrounging for happiness, but scrounging for happiness within one's self is a necessary part of human survival and maintenance of the self. if that makes any sense at all.

///mum - "weeping rock" probably the best track on their album summer make good. granted the whole album is a departure from the dream states of their previous work... and that sucks cuz their old stuff was damn good... but i cant fault them for change. who wants to here the same shit 90 times in a row. who even plays songs 90 times these days?