AUTHOR.CALHO: If I didn't write it, I would be hitch hiking cross country to Maine and then Alaska in that order. While taking frequent breaks to spread leaflets. And sit in diners. And write on things because I wasn't at a computer. I may still do that in a few years. Writing this also helps me forget about and better understand the limitations of being human, and keeps me busy enough to allow me no free time to burn the world down.

THEMATIC.ABOUT : Collapse often. The things that hold people together and hold them apart and scatter brains. The things that make thoughts go boom. The things that ooh and aah and [expletive deleted]. Sometimes poking around the margins where responsibility ends and the only one to look to is the Original Equipment Manufacturer and say "but, I already pressed 9 for more options and the menus are exactly the same. Can you just replace it?" The answer will be: "please hold." Sometimes hanging out in dark corners. Sometimes following the train tracks. Looking for ways out and ways in and all the while sharing the things seen and heard and done and drawn and written and scorched and healed and teased and caged and dreamed along the way.

4/8/16

Dear (_____)

Dear doorknobs,

We've had an on and off relationship.  I've torn the pockets out of my jeans on you.  That was not nice.  You've made me look a fool when I've shown up with the wrong set of keys or no keys at all.  You're okay though.  It's my own fault.

I realized today that the reason my shoulder joint was feeling achy was because, instead of using you for what you were put there for, I was disengaging you and then shoulder checking the door open, no matter the door, the situation, or the where.  That's my fault.  I was so used to my right hand and wrist having problems gripping and twisting from smashing it into surfaces with little give too many times that I got so used to using other body parts to operate doors that it felt normal and right.  That's on me.

In the future, with a good and healed hand, I will make better and more use of you.  My shoulder will knit now that I'm not banging on it and my entrances to domiciles and businesses will be much more appropriate instead of sounding like a police raid.

Thank you for being there.  You are deeply and newly appreciated.

Lovingly yours,

injury prone

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