AUTHOR.CALHO: If I didn't write it, I would be hitch hiking cross country to Maine and then Alaska in that order. While taking frequent breaks to spread leaflets. And sit in diners. And write on things because I wasn't at a computer. I may still do that in a few years. Writing this also helps me forget about and better understand the limitations of being human, and keeps me busy enough to allow me no free time to burn the world down.

THEMATIC.ABOUT : Collapse often. The things that hold people together and hold them apart and scatter brains. The things that make thoughts go boom. The things that ooh and aah and [expletive deleted]. Sometimes poking around the margins where responsibility ends and the only one to look to is the Original Equipment Manufacturer and say "but, I already pressed 9 for more options and the menus are exactly the same. Can you just replace it?" The answer will be: "please hold." Sometimes hanging out in dark corners. Sometimes following the train tracks. Looking for ways out and ways in and all the while sharing the things seen and heard and done and drawn and written and scorched and healed and teased and caged and dreamed along the way.

3/13/16

Dear (_____)

got himself a universe,

dear gaming,

I am not a peacemaker.  I feel terrible trying to play an even game with people that do not understand altruism.  I wonder why I continue to go back to them and try to make it go at a speed they can understand.  I fail every tine.   I try not to be sour or soggy about trying to change them.  It is incredibly frustrating.  I do not understand why they cannot see it.  They believe they are being pro.  Maybe what I have to do is treat them how they treat me instead of treating them how I want to be treated.  Maybe treating them is firing off signals they cannot comprehend.  Either way, what I think I am going to do is take the last ride and then cut him off.  Stay solvent.  Being someone else's crutch is  a bad way to be and I'm not about that life.
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