AUTHOR.CALHO: If I didn't write it, I would be hitch hiking cross country to Maine and then Alaska in that order. While taking frequent breaks to spread leaflets. And sit in diners. And write on things because I wasn't at a computer. I may still do that in a few years. Writing this also helps me forget about and better understand the limitations of being human, and keeps me busy enough to allow me no free time to burn the world down.

THEMATIC.ABOUT : Collapse often. The things that hold people together and hold them apart and scatter brains. The things that make thoughts go boom. The things that ooh and aah and [expletive deleted]. Sometimes poking around the margins where responsibility ends and the only one to look to is the Original Equipment Manufacturer and say "but, I already pressed 9 for more options and the menus are exactly the same. Can you just replace it?" The answer will be: "please hold." Sometimes hanging out in dark corners. Sometimes following the train tracks. Looking for ways out and ways in and all the while sharing the things seen and heard and done and drawn and written and scorched and healed and teased and caged and dreamed along the way.

1/13/10

do you ever wake up

and find yourself encased in ...


... well who really cares. basically ive been feeling kind of weird for the past three days. i keep getting a rising urge to pull my body apart. its not mine. i dont want to be in it anymore. i want to see whats underneath, but the problem is that what im looking for is not going to be found by digging and its frustrating. where did i go? my room is a lot like a cage... with bells to let people know when im moving around. its like privacy without the private part.

so much anger and discomfort and racism and prejudice and mommy daddy issues and anger and splitting and sharp edges and simple machines and spillage and anger and splitting

///angelo badalamenti - "red bats with teeth" its all building and growing into something that makes my intestines ache.
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