AUTHOR.CALHO: If I didn't write it, I would be hitch hiking cross country to Maine and then Alaska in that order. While taking frequent breaks to spread leaflets. And sit in diners. And write on things because I wasn't at a computer. I may still do that in a few years. Writing this also helps me forget about and better understand the limitations of being human, and keeps me busy enough to allow me no free time to burn the world down.

THEMATIC.ABOUT : Collapse often. The things that hold people together and hold them apart and scatter brains. The things that make thoughts go boom. The things that ooh and aah and [expletive deleted]. Sometimes poking around the margins where responsibility ends and the only one to look to is the Original Equipment Manufacturer and say "but, I already pressed 9 for more options and the menus are exactly the same. Can you just replace it?" The answer will be: "please hold." Sometimes hanging out in dark corners. Sometimes following the train tracks. Looking for ways out and ways in and all the while sharing the things seen and heard and done and drawn and written and scorched and healed and teased and caged and dreamed along the way.

2/6/17

Dear (_____)

Dear bipolarity,

I've fastened my belts and engaged crumple zones and automatic protocols to preserve my innards should operational capacity exceed framework and operational capabilities.  We are pushing toward the sun at about 120% normal power.  Cooling vanes are opened.  I do know it's not the flameout that kills; trying to reset and restart the engine in free fall and the sudden stop of the crash when you can't remember the right sequence in a panic is.  

I don't know why I was built with extra engine parts.  The cockpit rumbles and rattles toward the exosphere.  If we can keep it under 150% we may be able to get a glimpse of the stars after the blue fades.  If we get over 150% there is a real risk the engines will not be gulping air, but vacuum, without enough speed to carry us into orbit and will instead begin a very very very fast descent.  Followed by a fireball.

I don't need readouts to know the ins and outs of you.  What I do need is to see how far we have to go before we see the dust of the Milky Way.

Sincerely,

a pilot
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