AUTHOR.CALHO: If I didn't write it, I would be hitch hiking cross country to Maine and then Alaska in that order. While taking frequent breaks to spread leaflets. And sit in diners. And write on things because I wasn't at a computer. I may still do that in a few years. Writing this also helps me forget about and better understand the limitations of being human, and keeps me busy enough to allow me no free time to burn the world down.

THEMATIC.ABOUT : Collapse often. The things that hold people together and hold them apart and scatter brains. The things that make thoughts go boom. The things that ooh and aah and [expletive deleted]. Sometimes poking around the margins where responsibility ends and the only one to look to is the Original Equipment Manufacturer and say "but, I already pressed 9 for more options and the menus are exactly the same. Can you just replace it?" The answer will be: "please hold." Sometimes hanging out in dark corners. Sometimes following the train tracks. Looking for ways out and ways in and all the while sharing the things seen and heard and done and drawn and written and scorched and healed and teased and caged and dreamed along the way.

10/16/15

The Rage Tank

When I see you.  When I see myself with you.  I wonder: what does he have that I do not.

I see that he has a several few things.  A successful family and a family that communicates with itself.  A family that loves and is open.  Brothers and sisters that can get along.  And then I look at myself.

A family with a brother that can get along with one sister.  A sister foreign.  Another brother that is foreign.  Extended family that is all strangers.

I ask myself what I actually have to offer and the answer is pretty stark.  Pretty stark and pretty pretty in it's own way.  Pretty pretty in it's own way, but damn near not the same.

What do you want to be associated with?  By definition, that.








I ask myself every day.

I tell myself 'nough said.



I hate myself more and love myself more.

I ask myself what do I need to do more to be more accessible and then I ask myself what I need to do to be more of a person.  I have no idea.  In all consuming rage everything makes sense.  I think we were working around that.  No?

The rage tank is deep and has many chambers.  We will explore them soon.                                                                                          
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