Hook

I've already exceeded him.  I've already ... I laugh thinking about Star Wars and Hook and Peter Pan.  Thinking about Robbin Hood and Evangelion.   I laugh thinking about 0083 and Char and the Endless Waltz and Memories.  I laugh thinking about MOAB and dropping concrete bombs because "why spend the money when blocks can and do what we want?"  I laugh considering what Thomas said to me that night walking to a gas station to get smokes.  You're going to be just like your father.

I am.  And I am better.  I remember doing his homework for him when I was farting around back home and searching for any sort of feeler to find a job before I took off again.  I remember him hovering over my shoulder and him recognizing that I wasn't afraid of him anymore and he could stand behind me as long as he wanted to and I did not give a rip.  I think, at that stand off, he realized he wasn't Hook anymore.

If he still thought he was Hook, he knew I was the clock.  Do I still want to fight him?  No.  Do I still want to run him down with my truck?  Yes.  How dare you tell anyone they are not a person.  Who gives you the authority?  Who gave you the hook?  You never told me about your father.  The first I heard was second hand from people I thought you were close to.  Burping gasoline puffs.   I know you hear me.  I know you fucking hear me.  What is it going to take to get some fucking answers out of you, silver back?  I am going gray and I refuse to repeat the fault line.

I will snuffle the low line.  Give us the Hook.  Give us the Hook!  Give us the Hook!  You trained me, you shit.  You dog dog dog dog dog!  I do not have to fight you now.  I am not scared.  I have tools.  Tools for days.  Allow me to take you to my shed.  MY shed!  Allow me to close the windows so the neighbors do not hear.

I know you know something of cutting up.  Did you want a globe trotter?  Is that why junior got his name.  I almost want to adopt a child to spite you and name it after Andre, but not yours.  Where the hell did Malcolm come from in this family to begin with.  You never took the time to talk about it and I'm old enough to wonder about and you're lock jawed enough to never speak about it so ... I don't wish hell upon you.

Junior is just like you, yeah?  Given the hook.  Thinking about washing dishes in Brighton and trying to focus on the soap bubbles while you two argued and hearing your voice again saying "yeah he's listening" while I am looking at the bubbles and their popping and doing my best to twitch my ears as hard as I can so you know that I know I can fucking hear you and hoping you can understand that YES I am hearing everything you say.  You fuck.

Yeah, you fucked up.  Unfortunately, I am one of the results of your misstep.  I would be happy to play roulette with you though.  With that turn coat cow of a wife you brainwashed.  Good job.  Yep, I am firing on 98% of my cylinders.  You do the math.  She bailed.  She bailed.  Vicious.  We talked about it.  Call me crazy.  We spoke about it.  I did not want to fuck her, I wanted her to be happy and protect her.  Fail.  Good job, buddy.

WHY DID YOU CUT ME DOWN.  I do not understand it.  I never will.  I cry and I hurt myself to try to make it right.  I have and I do and I have and I will not stop until you die.  If I could kill you, I would.      .........................................  I want to taste your blood so badly.  Take a Louisville to you.  You might too.  As much as I want to take the teeth out of you, I want you to see my teeth before I bite your eyeball out of your head.

I want to blow paint straight through your nostrils.

Get up, get down!

Normal.  Hah!

Eventually a person get's tired of getting skull fucked.  Tired of being leashed.  What else is out there?

Malcolm junior is reaping all of the blessings.  Red too.  Little one too.  I am getting scraps.

If I could get away with it.................................................end the dance.   I hate being associated with you with a vigor you do not and never will understand!

Make a bet.  You can pop one of my eyeballs if I can pop one of yours.  Standing bet.

Wrech.

Hack.... yack......


I am not going to let you fuck this up, pop.

Enjoy.

enjoy enjoy enjoy




///no music selection.  Thinking about the satisfaction of strangling my father while my mother watches and makes ape faces