Geometric Theory and How To Be a Good Ghost

I've been making a greater effort to understand myself.  Took some days to think harder on the subject in attempts to dismantle the motor and find the part tripping warning messages and panel lights.  I didn't get very far.  What I mean is, having many of the larger mechanism in pieces the map looked like a spilled box of lathe shavings and filaments and bits of casings.  Laid out, they said nothing in particular besides a resounding: from this mess comes everything you know.

Isolation is very important.  Two way protection, aside.  Isolation is near critical.  Incredibly important.  I used to tell myself I was not a violent person, but I acknowledge that I am.  Violently dedicated, at times.  Violently emotional.  Violently planted in the physical.  Violently loud and sometimes violently silent.  Many times over and often unnecessarily peaked.  If you graph it though, if you graph me on a smooth curve, I can't be that far away from normal.  I guess that's statistics though.  You can make values say whatever you want if you know the math well enough.  Kind of like paints.  You can draw damn near whatever you want and make it look damn close to your vision when the understanding of what the the colors do is clear to you.

The math is unclear to me.  I imagine, in my geometry, that every person can be represented by a three dimensional shape.  The closer you are to ideal, the more you represent a sphere.  The fields of emotion are painted on this sphere and the boundaries between emotions are all blended smoothly, one into another.  The area the regions occupy on the sphere all project inward to an infinite point of no emotion whatsoever.  A vegetable.  As the rays project away from the vegetable state they gain in intensity until they reach the maximum of what that emotion is and how it can be expressed on the surface.  When the rays intensity does not reach the surface it requires someone interpreting the shape to make some sort of judgement or act of perception to ascertain how exposed or close to nothing the ray terminates.

 The way I've come to understand emotional states, what is normal to me, is point projection.  A region on the surface of the shape, if I am spherical, will be occupied by a single point, not eliminating the possibility for multiple regions to register a single point, and the points add up to what I'm feeling/effusing at maximum intensity.  The entire thing sounds senselessly scientific coming out of my mouth.  I'll draw it later.  Promise.  It'll make more sense once I draw it.  What I think I wanted to say was this: I see people and I see people around me navigating the world with three dimensional emotion and it's difficult to understand and comprehend and that's what's driven me to find a way to help myself understand how it is possible and why it is happening.

Fluid forms.  In talking to them, I see their is as globules, sometimes pointed, inside the "normal" sphere.  I think that's part of what makes some internet communities appealing.  Shapes and occupied head spaces leaning and pointing or bubbled inside the normal (sometimes completely occupying the normal sphere) in ways that make the viewer marvel.  When I cut down and cut apart myself when I reach extroversion I don't see a shape.  I see surface breaches.  I see points on the three dimensional graph.  A series of two dimensional graphs, but no contiguous rays making up a region of space or continuous rays extending from vegetable zero.  Digital emotion.

Not everyone is represented by a sphere at the breach.  Some people are cubes, some people are tetrahedrons, etc and on to the Nth until you meet that perfectly spherical person who occupies spaces inside of it, but who is completely capable of occupying the entire thing or at least an amalgam of the outermost sphere or occupying a spherical space inside of the "normal."  It makes me confused and jealous.  100 percent of each.

A method of control.  Controlling which paints hit the canvas and better controlling where and in what order. How to repair X state: move this point here and that one there and that one there and presto!   It's a notion.

Much more importantly though, I got myself into a conversation about ghosts.  I believe ghosts exist.  The world, my world, is fact enough to push it into the realm of plausibility.  At least that.  The conversation ran on and on for about an hour.  What I, and the company, realized was that it is possible to be a good ghost.  Let's say you knew you were going to die and knew what it was going to feel like when your body was about ready to quit.  Your relatives, or at least you, treated yourself well and the nurse was very helpful to boot, but you were still dead set on haunting someone at some point.  Get high first on whatever makes you happy.

For the sake of argument, let's say that most ghosts that haunt people have unfinished business or died in some horrible way.  That's why they're so mad all of the time.  To prevent this, when you're on your death bed ask for a little weed instead of a last meal or maybe in addition to it.  Get really really high and then die, because however you die is what form you will take so no shotguns to the face.   Could you imagine being high for the rest of eternity?  Yeah, it sounds a bit like some kind of hell, but once the hell syndrome wore off it would be a continuously hilarious experience.  Person: "Are you trying to scare me?"  High Ghost: "yes!  BooooOOOooOOOOoooooooo!"  You'd be the happiest and probably worst ghost ever, but it would be worth it.  What will they do?  Kill you twice?