AUTHOR.CALHO: If I didn't write it, I would be hitch hiking cross country to Maine and then Alaska in that order. While taking frequent breaks to spread leaflets. And sit in diners. And write on things because I wasn't at a computer. I may still do that in a few years. Writing this also helps me forget about and better understand the limitations of being human, and keeps me busy enough to allow me no free time to burn the world down.

THEMATIC.ABOUT : Collapse often. The things that hold people together and hold them apart and scatter brains. The things that make thoughts go boom. The things that ooh and aah and [expletive deleted]. Sometimes poking around the margins where responsibility ends and the only one to look to is the Original Equipment Manufacturer and say "but, I already pressed 9 for more options and the menus are exactly the same. Can you just replace it?" The answer will be: "please hold." Sometimes hanging out in dark corners. Sometimes following the train tracks. Looking for ways out and ways in and all the while sharing the things seen and heard and done and drawn and written and scorched and healed and teased and caged and dreamed along the way.

5/28/11

The Edge of Amazement

I've been told by some that I am easily amused. Well, I am. I spent twenty minutes today laughing at my laughter. I've been told by others that they wished they could be as easily amused and see the world through similarly eager and easily impressed eyes. I don't know about that. Not to harp about money not being able to buy happiness, but it does. Sort of.

What it buys is a buffer. The edge of the reality of situations. Unpleasant. Where you live? You live in a low rent shit hole in a building occupied by wellfare comped degenerates and people that may or may not be wholly insane and or meth addicts. Sometimes it can be difficult to be happy in a situation like that. What you can buy with money. Fantastic appointments. All the little things that will make your low rent apartment much more enjoyable to live in and obscure the reality of the situation. Or enough drugs to fantastically appoint the hardware in your head and buffer it that way. It's not technically, to the T of the definition, happiness, but it's pretty close. Happiness enabler. I'll take some helium.

Pizza isn't special. In and of itself. It is to me. I can't buy it more than once or twice in a month because I have a lot of other things way more important and necessary and life sustaining to buy and try to save for than expensive cheesy and pepperoni speckled and italian sausaged and dipping butter for the crust ridiculously delicious pizza. So I guess when I hear people say I've got it good because simple things amaze and entertain me because I don't have much in the way of a reality buffer it irritates me. The edge of amazement cuts in two directions and the back stroke is serrated. So, don't forget that. I'll trade you places next time you want to be grounded. I'd like to spend some time in flight

... buffering ...


with giant slices of pizza and area rugs two dozen feet wide and ceiling fans and air conditioning and a shower curtain that reaches all the way across my bath tub. That would be amazing. I will probably cream my pants if the day that all of those things come together actually happens.



///Aphex Twin - "Donkey Rhubarb"
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