AUTHOR.CALHO: If I didn't write it, I would be hitch hiking cross country to Maine and then Alaska in that order. While taking frequent breaks to spread leaflets. And sit in diners. And write on things because I wasn't at a computer. I may still do that in a few years. Writing this also helps me forget about and better understand the limitations of being human, and keeps me busy enough to allow me no free time to burn the world down.

THEMATIC.ABOUT : Collapse often. The things that hold people together and hold them apart and scatter brains. The things that make thoughts go boom. The things that ooh and aah and [expletive deleted]. Sometimes poking around the margins where responsibility ends and the only one to look to is the Original Equipment Manufacturer and say "but, I already pressed 9 for more options and the menus are exactly the same. Can you just replace it?" The answer will be: "please hold." Sometimes hanging out in dark corners. Sometimes following the train tracks. Looking for ways out and ways in and all the while sharing the things seen and heard and done and drawn and written and scorched and healed and teased and caged and dreamed along the way.

3/20/06

back to b-6

Subject : Back to B-6
Posted Date: : Mar 20, 2006 9:11 AM

There is a problem in life. The problem is efficiency. The problem used to be time management.

The problem with my writing used to be that I spent the time I meant to spend free writing monitoring porn downloads instead. Hours upon hours spent, no, /wasted/ watching the gray progress bars of kazaa or the ugly greens of limewire fill up. Salivating for more material to bleed myself dry. Eventually I worked things out so that I would squirt some words between downloads, but even that only allowed for a few minutes of writing a day, because in order to keep the downloads coming you had to search for more and monitor the search window as well as the traffic. This inability to cope with having an erect penis used to destroy my time management.

Not anymore! Now I simply start up kazaa and let it work while I attempt to get my own work done. Therein lies the new problem of efficiency. Now that I've got everything parsed and on schedule the problem has been actually doing what I have alotted my time to do. For instance giving myself an hour to write means five minutes to start my laptop, two minutes to start kazaa, two minutes to find my music, three minutes to get out the power cable and ear phones, five minutes to check my inbox, five minutes to settle in and focus and then the reverse process at the end of the time alottment. Efficiency equals zero because half of the remaining time im adjusting the gadgets and cables and the other half im monitoring traffic to make sure i keep within bandwidth limits and then the other half of the time im distracting myself with the internets many goodies. The centerpiece of all of these problems has been trying to get the writing i want to do done on the laptop. Everything that slows me down is instantly identifiable as being connected to this accursed piece of hardware.

So Im going back to basics. I broke out my old notebook from sophmore year of college and im getting back to writing there instead of trying to use myspace as a way to force myself to write.

I think what i really wanted to say there was: instead of trying to use myspace as a way of forcing myself to write im going to force myself to write by writing. besides, the writing i want to do isn't even related to myspace in a positive way. you dont read blogs to hear poetry or little viniettes or scripts and the groups related to that kind of writing all suck, Ive finally realized, not necessarily because of their members, but because the kind of writing their trying to put into a classic forum format simply does not work.

So its back to basics for this cat. Or otter. Wet otter. Word.

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