Clean with alcohol only. Do not attempt to replace blown fuses. Do not remove access panels. Return to certified mechanic for regular maintenance. Made in the USA.
3/28/15
The Best Thing
about Winter tonguing into spreading Spring is getting to strap and clip and clap and seal and snap on your space suit one last time before the sun blots out the sky and everything becomes too molten to sleep.
3/25/15
Dear (_____)
Dear work,
It's been a blast spending so much time with you, but I must admit I miss spending more time at home. You've turned me into the bread winner and the dissatisfied spouse rolled into one when I get home too tired to masturbate. "Are you feeling frisky tonight?" First of all: no. Second of all: some of us have to work for a living and I'd appreciate it if you cleaned up around here while I'm out, if it's not too much to ask. Thirdly: I have to go back to work in the morning so I don't feel like tiring myself out further trying to have an orgasm for an hour while you shove toys inside me because you can't do it yourself. "Alright, jeez. Sorry I asked. Good-@#$%-ing-nite." You keep me busy, which is great, but I'm looking forward to seeing other people. If you're offended, be so and it is personal and I don't expect and I will not ask you to be understanding. If we were married it'd be a different story, but we're not. I don't want to end our friendship. I believe we will need to change how we spend our time to keep our friendship going.
sincerely,
xoxo
It's been a blast spending so much time with you, but I must admit I miss spending more time at home. You've turned me into the bread winner and the dissatisfied spouse rolled into one when I get home too tired to masturbate. "Are you feeling frisky tonight?" First of all: no. Second of all: some of us have to work for a living and I'd appreciate it if you cleaned up around here while I'm out, if it's not too much to ask. Thirdly: I have to go back to work in the morning so I don't feel like tiring myself out further trying to have an orgasm for an hour while you shove toys inside me because you can't do it yourself. "Alright, jeez. Sorry I asked. Good-@#$%-ing-nite." You keep me busy, which is great, but I'm looking forward to seeing other people. If you're offended, be so and it is personal and I don't expect and I will not ask you to be understanding. If we were married it'd be a different story, but we're not. I don't want to end our friendship. I believe we will need to change how we spend our time to keep our friendship going.
sincerely,
xoxo
3/14/15
The Bars (short and sweet)
They're duf===- error. Error. Error. Error. Thb. Error. They'
Error.
j. Error.
They're difficult to approach. I do have rabbit ears when it comes to waving around the word "retard". Not because I've known people that have fallen into that "category" so much as I have fallen into that category kicking and screaming and have grown to appreciate it through the years as a very and very viable and conscious segment of society.
It's not some sort of syndrome or some sort of recognition and therefore adoption. It's reel and real. Much more real than reel. I've done a lot of things to accommodate for my "deficiencies", some more successful than others. I'm still not sure if an attempt at self diagnosis is a paltry cry for help for socio-societal issues and maladjustment or not, but I soldier on and that's cool.
Sometimes it's really thrilling to fit it in successfully like a bandit, however, sometimes I do latch on to other people around me that appear to be similar or at least similarly categorized and otherwised appropriately boxed off and well segregated. Not necessarily in a bad way. People that do not remember to shower or pick their eyes. People that do no clip their nails or cannot do so. People that can only talk if they can see the left ear of the person they are talking to. People they can only talk to if they have a lock of their hair in their own pocket. regular things, ya know? Is it aggravating? Yeah, absolutely. Do you find ways around it? Yeah, absolutely.
Who am I to get mad?
Let's keep this bitch short and sweet, honey bee!
I didn't get around to talking about what I wanted to talk about, but
I flattened out some of the da'gum'errs and that's mighty fine, I'll take it.
I hope you will too.
I promise I'll be back soon, but I hate promising anything, but I promise I'l be back soon.
I'll finish this thought:
Never felt bad with my bulbous nose tween thighs.
To be continued:
Error.
j. Error.
They're difficult to approach. I do have rabbit ears when it comes to waving around the word "retard". Not because I've known people that have fallen into that "category" so much as I have fallen into that category kicking and screaming and have grown to appreciate it through the years as a very and very viable and conscious segment of society.
It's not some sort of syndrome or some sort of recognition and therefore adoption. It's reel and real. Much more real than reel. I've done a lot of things to accommodate for my "deficiencies", some more successful than others. I'm still not sure if an attempt at self diagnosis is a paltry cry for help for socio-societal issues and maladjustment or not, but I soldier on and that's cool.
Sometimes it's really thrilling to fit it in successfully like a bandit, however, sometimes I do latch on to other people around me that appear to be similar or at least similarly categorized and otherwised appropriately boxed off and well segregated. Not necessarily in a bad way. People that do not remember to shower or pick their eyes. People that do no clip their nails or cannot do so. People that can only talk if they can see the left ear of the person they are talking to. People they can only talk to if they have a lock of their hair in their own pocket. regular things, ya know? Is it aggravating? Yeah, absolutely. Do you find ways around it? Yeah, absolutely.
Who am I to get mad?
Let's keep this bitch short and sweet, honey bee!
I didn't get around to talking about what I wanted to talk about, but
I flattened out some of the da'gum'errs and that's mighty fine, I'll take it.
I hope you will too.
I promise I'll be back soon, but I hate promising anything, but I promise I'l be back soon.
I'll finish this thought:
Never felt bad with my bulbous nose tween thighs.
To be continued:
Bah
Engage the suppo meta super chim gank ja ja ja hahaha ckck la la la jhjh gohgoh fukjj aooao uiw way of looking at things. Or make a hard break, no?
It's been a very long time, we know. All of us know. It's been a long time for a reason and we support that reason whatever that reason may be and however that reason came to be. We support it. It has taken a lot of force to bring everyone to the table. Hell, it's taken a lot of brute force simply to bring us all to the table, let alone a table.
Some of us want to wave around our individuals flags. I am fighting, as the selected individual to represent our collective passport, to wave a single one, but everyone wants to be heard so, I guess I will step away for the song, it's a rarity, but feels appropriate:
well that did not take long to fail. As soon as the spotlight descended they scattered like cockroaches. Big surprise. Machinations of my brain. Faults and artifacts you say. I say. Could it be that the prices I would have to pay should they be named may be so high that I cannot let their names loose anymore or must erase the names as soon as I have let them loose should they be known and summoned on an account other than my own I and I alone should feel the repercussions or should I say that even having mentioned them I should now fall under their disgrace and suffer the consequences in utter paranoia and I should I now tell you that having disclosed that much information the knowledge alone will tell the body and mind collective to brace for impact that other worldly souls should be (this is all in a Britton accent) coming down upon my head?
No. Some of that's true. Most of it's not. I know a lot of what happens inside my head is my own fault. I know a lot of it is not and if I could pluck your eye balls out of your head and implant them into mine you'd want to kill yourself to. Every day. Maybe not every hour. Sometimes some hours people you surround yourself with help you to forget what is all around.
You can all laugh and drink and I drink to forget but not to forget my circumstances or anything like that. I get it. I didn't do good in school and I missed out on trade school by going to learning school and I couldve jumped out of it if I'd known or had the balls to do it instead of taking everything I was force fed, because being a mechanic is tip top, but I didn't so... whatever.
Look up in the sky, it's a bird, it's a plane, it's whatever man! Rimshot.
I drink to forget my father and the senseless beatings and I drink to forget the fact that I can't see straight into a vagina and I drink that I cant see straight at children because they give me the heebee jeebees every time I'm alone with them and I can't stop imagining what a giant penis feels like in a tiny weewee or if a tiny wenis gets hard or if they know or if I knew back then if someone was cleaning me or just being fucking weird or if there's someone who should be on my end of days "I'm going to scoop your motherfucking eyeball out with a margerine plastic knife" or not or if patting one of them bastards on the back is too much contact or too little or if I should shuffle on down to Maryland and kill my father and just have it out, take my time, and have a happy weird time with a kid of my own eventually and explain to him or her that you'll never meet your father because he's dead because I killed him.
Look up in the sky, it's a bird, it's a plane, it's whatever man! Rimshot.
A friend of mine keeps saying "bah" and I think he's doing it in part because I told him saying "it is what it is" is the Pittsburgher, PAer, way of saying "I dunno" northeaster-ish. Northeaster shit. You could just say ellipsis but that's too many penstrokes, yeah? Yeah is an ellipsis too. Dot dot doooooooooooooooooooooooooooot. To other thoughts along the same train, not quite a hard break, however hard enough to change the frames position along the wall to be noticeable. Hard enough to be, should someone visit, a highlight in the tour to the tune of "you've changed."
So we're here and we've arrived and I will borrow in the meantime a "bah."
I cannot tell you how much I've loved you but I can tell you how much I've missed you.
It's good to work. It's good to work at what you love. It's better when the work brings me closer to you.
Breaking trail. Breaking silence. Breaking my heart for you. I miss you every day. You have no idea how much I wish multitasking was an actual thing.
Keep streamlined. Stay feathered. The wind is screaming aginst your nose and mine too. Feather through the days and weeks.
///Unkle & Sparklehorse - (Maria Gur Cover [Insane Lullaby]) ....upon a podium.... you're charming and you're brave
It's been a very long time, we know. All of us know. It's been a long time for a reason and we support that reason whatever that reason may be and however that reason came to be. We support it. It has taken a lot of force to bring everyone to the table. Hell, it's taken a lot of brute force simply to bring us all to the table, let alone a table.
Some of us want to wave around our individuals flags. I am fighting, as the selected individual to represent our collective passport, to wave a single one, but everyone wants to be heard so, I guess I will step away for the song, it's a rarity, but feels appropriate:
well that did not take long to fail. As soon as the spotlight descended they scattered like cockroaches. Big surprise. Machinations of my brain. Faults and artifacts you say. I say. Could it be that the prices I would have to pay should they be named may be so high that I cannot let their names loose anymore or must erase the names as soon as I have let them loose should they be known and summoned on an account other than my own I and I alone should feel the repercussions or should I say that even having mentioned them I should now fall under their disgrace and suffer the consequences in utter paranoia and I should I now tell you that having disclosed that much information the knowledge alone will tell the body and mind collective to brace for impact that other worldly souls should be (this is all in a Britton accent) coming down upon my head?
No. Some of that's true. Most of it's not. I know a lot of what happens inside my head is my own fault. I know a lot of it is not and if I could pluck your eye balls out of your head and implant them into mine you'd want to kill yourself to. Every day. Maybe not every hour. Sometimes some hours people you surround yourself with help you to forget what is all around.
You can all laugh and drink and I drink to forget but not to forget my circumstances or anything like that. I get it. I didn't do good in school and I missed out on trade school by going to learning school and I couldve jumped out of it if I'd known or had the balls to do it instead of taking everything I was force fed, because being a mechanic is tip top, but I didn't so... whatever.
Look up in the sky, it's a bird, it's a plane, it's whatever man! Rimshot.
I drink to forget my father and the senseless beatings and I drink to forget the fact that I can't see straight into a vagina and I drink that I cant see straight at children because they give me the heebee jeebees every time I'm alone with them and I can't stop imagining what a giant penis feels like in a tiny weewee or if a tiny wenis gets hard or if they know or if I knew back then if someone was cleaning me or just being fucking weird or if there's someone who should be on my end of days "I'm going to scoop your motherfucking eyeball out with a margerine plastic knife" or not or if patting one of them bastards on the back is too much contact or too little or if I should shuffle on down to Maryland and kill my father and just have it out, take my time, and have a happy weird time with a kid of my own eventually and explain to him or her that you'll never meet your father because he's dead because I killed him.
Look up in the sky, it's a bird, it's a plane, it's whatever man! Rimshot.
A friend of mine keeps saying "bah" and I think he's doing it in part because I told him saying "it is what it is" is the Pittsburgher, PAer, way of saying "I dunno" northeaster-ish. Northeaster shit. You could just say ellipsis but that's too many penstrokes, yeah? Yeah is an ellipsis too. Dot dot doooooooooooooooooooooooooooot. To other thoughts along the same train, not quite a hard break, however hard enough to change the frames position along the wall to be noticeable. Hard enough to be, should someone visit, a highlight in the tour to the tune of "you've changed."
So we're here and we've arrived and I will borrow in the meantime a "bah."
I cannot tell you how much I've loved you but I can tell you how much I've missed you.
It's good to work. It's good to work at what you love. It's better when the work brings me closer to you.
Breaking trail. Breaking silence. Breaking my heart for you. I miss you every day. You have no idea how much I wish multitasking was an actual thing.
Keep streamlined. Stay feathered. The wind is screaming aginst your nose and mine too. Feather through the days and weeks.
///Unkle & Sparklehorse - (Maria Gur Cover [Insane Lullaby]) ....upon a podium.... you're charming and you're brave
3/7/15
That Instant
you know the thing that will make you a very happy camper is some fucking hello and you also know the thing that you absolutely cannot afford to blow up your face is $$$$$.
Dear (_____)
Dear broken nose,
I've done nothing less than treat you with respect. Fucking goddammit! I'd replace you with an intake manifold if I could but a nose without a body and a body without a nose are ... I could probably get by without a nose... probably not a nasal bone though. That's the tricky part. What will join the orbital bones without you?
You know what? Complain all you want. You've every right to. What I will do is listen.
Sincerely,
the management
Dear (_____)
Dear broken nose,
I know you've gotten the short end of the stick more often than either of us would have liked. You're a bit like a scarecrow with its post askew (you don't really notice the slant until I'm standing next to you), but if you would work with me a little bit we might not feel like got your nose games that end with knuckles pinching our face every time we wear our respirator for hours.
sincerely,
the rest of us.
P.S. come on, just work with us and I will make our snot rockets afterward glorious.
I know you've gotten the short end of the stick more often than either of us would have liked. You're a bit like a scarecrow with its post askew (you don't really notice the slant until I'm standing next to you), but if you would work with me a little bit we might not feel like got your nose games that end with knuckles pinching our face every time we wear our respirator for hours.
sincerely,
the rest of us.
P.S. come on, just work with us and I will make our snot rockets afterward glorious.
3/1/15
That Instant
you realize if you ever did reopen communications with your father for the sole purpose of orchestrating a fight card, you both just might show up at the neutral location specified and agree, having shaken hands and already assented to parameters, to walk away. The signed contract of intents being enough, and the outcome a footnote.
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