AUTHOR.CALHO: If I didn't write it, I would be hitch hiking cross country to Maine and then Alaska in that order. While taking frequent breaks to spread leaflets. And sit in diners. And write on things because I wasn't at a computer. I may still do that in a few years. Writing this also helps me forget about and better understand the limitations of being human, and keeps me busy enough to allow me no free time to burn the world down.

THEMATIC.ABOUT : Collapse often. The things that hold people together and hold them apart and scatter brains. The things that make thoughts go boom. The things that ooh and aah and [expletive deleted]. Sometimes poking around the margins where responsibility ends and the only one to look to is the Original Equipment Manufacturer and say "but, I already pressed 9 for more options and the menus are exactly the same. Can you just replace it?" The answer will be: "please hold." Sometimes hanging out in dark corners. Sometimes following the train tracks. Looking for ways out and ways in and all the while sharing the things seen and heard and done and drawn and written and scorched and healed and teased and caged and dreamed along the way.

7/10/10

get sorted

Well, I'm lost. I realized it today. Well actually I realized it yesterday when I went to bed at 5:30 in the morning. That was a pretty good indicator that I'm not really driving in any particular direction with any sort of conviction. On the other hand, it could be an indication that I'm driving in every direction with complete conviction. Either way the sum of detectable movement is a big fat zero.

Qualifier: it is a happy zero. I haven't accomplished nothing in my efforts to accomplish everything. I simply haven't produced anything measurable by fiscal standards, and who's really keeping track of that? Everyone, you say? Well I don't care all that much. Like Lady GaGa apparently said (I heard from a friend of a friend who read something who was told about the thing to read by a friend's friend) money is boring. The only reason why I want to make money is so that I can pay for things that will free me up to do other things. If food and housing were free, the only jobs I would do were the jobs I wanted to do and I wouldn't have to worry about getting paid because the jobs that I actually want to do are jobs that I would literally do for free. Seeing someone enjoy the product of your labor should, and for me actually is, so enjoyable that I rarely do the things I enjoy for money unless its necessary.

To get back to the point, I've been using my pen tablet to make things like this:



I'm not completely sure why. I used to doodle a lot in high school instead of learning stoichiometry and trigonometry. I suppose if I paid more attention I would be getting home from a 60,000 dollar job after doodling equations instead of sitting at home making pictures. I'm not sure I would make a trade though. I mean obviously it would be nice to have a pay check and a car and an apartment, but I'm not dead, I'm not homeless, and I'm not being starved at the moment so I suppose it's not all bad. I'd rather be able to dream and create than be able to dream and unable to creatively articulate.

And you know what else? I'll fix those images right now before I go to bed, because if I don't I'm going to end up putting it off until I'm on my death bed telling a priest that my only regret was not fixing the graphics on this page.

///Susumu Hirasawa - "Jouken Douji" If you thought Anime music was composed entirely of campy Japanese pop tunes and you haven't tried anything I've recommended by Kanno or Susumu, today should be the day you listen to a track that is all kinds of funky intricate and sexy. Like "really awesome piece of slick technology" sexy, not "anemic girl with plastic breasts" sexy. The bass line in this track is hotter than a lot of hip hop bass lines and from what I know of production (admittedly very little), I'd say the production value is higher than the norm for Anime music. Susumu Hirasawa delivers complexity in balance with beauty and gets it right more often than not.
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