AUTHOR.CALHO: If I didn't write it, I would be hitch hiking cross country to Maine and then Alaska in that order. While taking frequent breaks to spread leaflets. And sit in diners. And write on things because I wasn't at a computer. I may still do that in a few years. Writing this also helps me forget about and better understand the limitations of being human, and keeps me busy enough to allow me no free time to burn the world down.

THEMATIC.ABOUT : Collapse often. The things that hold people together and hold them apart and scatter brains. The things that make thoughts go boom. The things that ooh and aah and [expletive deleted]. Sometimes poking around the margins where responsibility ends and the only one to look to is the Original Equipment Manufacturer and say "but, I already pressed 9 for more options and the menus are exactly the same. Can you just replace it?" The answer will be: "please hold." Sometimes hanging out in dark corners. Sometimes following the train tracks. Looking for ways out and ways in and all the while sharing the things seen and heard and done and drawn and written and scorched and healed and teased and caged and dreamed along the way.
Showing posts with label fashion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fashion. Show all posts

2/16/17

Veggie Tacos

The thought of eating vegetable filled tacos is terrible at first.  Once you really start to think about what you like the most about tacos, it becomes more clear that what you like the most about tacos is not the meat.  What you like the most is the kaleidoscope of tastes and the sooner you can wean your train of thought off of the "meat must be incorporated into each of the three meals of the day" you can get over it pretty quickly.

I mean, you used to think a day's good eatin' had to have three meals in it for the longest time and how guilty and terrible did you feel about yourself before you finally understood that myth was busted like a car with no tires and four wheels?

Simple changes will save you from cardiac arrest down the road.  Bust a few more myths and all you'll have to do is quit smoking (eventually).




///Useless Information 

7/21/15

Maybe I'm Missing Something

Enough with the ridiculous headlights, please.  Pretty please?  Can someone please step in as a voice of reason and say something?  Anything?  Can we appeal to logic?  How about safety?  How about simple decency?  The idea that hurting other people because "whatever, they can go to hell" is a not good thing.

Yes, we get it.  They're very pretty when you're taking pictures of them, or sketching them in a design lab, or walking around them in your garage or someone else's garage or at a car show.  Sparkly, shiny, shifting through the spectrum of visible light subtly or standing bold and stark and sudden, so alert and commanding or brilliant, smoldering, and devilish, double daring you to put the key in or press the engine on button.  We understand that aspect.  That bending and twisting and running of the finger's tips along that silk membrane between machine and animal, animal and man, man and near sentient machine.  We understand and we are not asking to tamper with that experience or dull it or snatch it away from you, person driving the car with the tremendously intricate, unreasonably high powered headlights.

Remember when you could replace a headlight bulb yourself for $15?  I still can.  Is my car less attractive because it runs $15 headlamps?  I don't care.  I don't love my automobile any less because it doesn't have black bedded lenses that look like a unicorn sneezed a rainbow around the fringes of the beams.

Can we stop with the ultra bright, surface of the sun, "just like driving at noon", lamps?  I'm sure you probably need to see six football fields ahead of you when you are blazing down the straightaway portions of LeMans at 220 miles per hour never, can we tone it down a little bit when the longest straight portion of highway in your city is maybe half a mile and the safest speed you can average on it without killing yourself or someone else in your suv is a brisk 80.  Not to mention, inside the highway ringing that city, with stoplights, you're probably crushing it a blistering 30 miles per hour.  Stop it already.

Every time that chassis hits a bump or a pothole or manhole cover or gentle dip in the road, the angle of that ultra bright, kaleidoscope changes for a split second and my rear view mirror turns into a camera's flash two feet away from my face.  It's so pretty.  It's so pretty.  What could the reason possibly be?  Is it just rich people wanting people to know that their car, their status symbol, is out on the road and people had better take notice.  It's not the standard model either.  The standard model has the LEDs with the white lighthouse grade bulbs.  It's the S model so the white lighthouse grade bulbs have been replaced with omni directional plasma discharge tubes powered by nuclear cold fusion.  Everyone will know what I drive is better than what they drive because they'll see my headlight's coming from beyond the curvature of the Earth.

Jesus, get over yourself.  No one cares.  What they will know is that whoever is driving the car behind them deserves to have their headlights caved in with a hatchet for every other motorists sake.  I'm not against getting creative or embracing the art of lighting, crystals, lenses, and advancing the technology.  I am against taking it way too far.  All of the light is practically false security too.  It only illuminates, but so far, and if you're a bad driver guess what?  You're still going to screw up.  You'll have an extra 500 feet though to make the same dumb decision.

Things are seriously getting out of hand out there.

2/22/15

Year End Playlist 2014

January - Run the Jewels - Sea Legs
February - Sleigh Bells - Rachel Remix
March - Run the Jewels - No Come Down
April - Matt and Kim - Lessons Learned
May - The Sabres of Paradise - Smoke Belch
June - Deathgrips - Blackjack you don't pay attention, you're going to get whacked
July - Machinedrum - Loveking
August - Starfucker - Rawnald Gregory
September - Various - Listen to the Animals
October - Nneka - Heartbeats fuck when you want me
November - Miss Kittin - Happy Violentine oscar foxtrot november
December - Sylvan Esso - Hey Mami

Fault of circumstance.  Blood blood blood blood blood.  Machinedrum almost made it for a two'fer, but Loveking was pushed off of the list for Nneka.  The list is in a particular order.  I should offer honorable mentions and I will:

in no particular order

Junkie XL - Zero to Nine
Machinedrum - Loveking
Macklemore - Whitewalls
Junkie XL -  Blackjack
Goldie - Mother
Meaghan Trainor - All About That Bass
Daft Punk - Giorgio By Moroder

My brother tells me often "love and peace".  I appreciate the words.  I do.  Conscientious objection is not an option for some.  Draft dodger maybe.  Acceptable?  Yes.  For another time?  Yes.

1/17/15

The Unwritten Beard Manifesto and Subsequent Referendum That Never Happened

Here's why:

I'm not against shaving.  I just hate it.  I say that shaving is for pussies.  Its a joke that cuts both ways.  If you don't see the humor in it, you're an idiot.  If you don't see the humor in it, allow me to clarify.  Shaving is for pussies, as in weak people that feel they have to present a certain image of themselves to be attractive.  Beards are awesome.  Lady, if you've got a mustache, the only thing weirder is shaving every morning.  Everyone sees your five o'clock shadow.  I dunno, bleach it or something maybe?  Okay, fine.  Shave it.  Laser it.  Laser the hell out of your face.  It's a complicated issue, I know.  Shaving is for pussies, as in pelvic areas, as in the vulva, is a joke.  It's sarcasm.  Can you imagine walking around with razor burn on your crotch all day, everyday, with the most confining underwear known to mankind?  I can.  I once completely botched a ball shaving job with an electric razor and didn't realize it until my scrotum was on fire in a pair of fine mesh black panties while sitting at a bus stop in the middle of summer.  It was ten o'clock in the morning.  It was one of the worst days I've ever experienced hygienically speaking.  Oddly enough, when I do it right I can shave my crotch with great ease and never have the problems induced when shaving my face.  If I had pubic hair for a beard I could shave every day, easy as pie.  However, I could never grow a beard because I would have pubes on my face and a full forest in my pants and that's just asking for all sorts of smelly sweaty awfulness down there and who wants a pube face?  I mean, than I would absolutely have to shave every day and that's just a hassle on another scale.  Shaving is not for pussies.  Trimming perhaps, but not baby smooth shaving.  That's just weird and hazardous to your health and safety.  Beards are awesome.  They keep the wind off of your face in Winter.  They shimmer in Summer.  They're low maintenance.  They let the world know you are a sexy beast.  They let the world know you are not a child anymore.  They make a statement.  They give you a chin if you don't have one.  They give you something to play with and tug on and snuffle into.  I'm not against shaving.  I just hate it.  I hate it like I hate Nazis.  Okay, I hate Nazis more.  Slightly more.  There should be an extra notch above hate so that I can hate Nazis more, but there isn't so I have to hate shaving slightly less than I hate Nazis.  So I don't actually hate shaving.  I just strongly strongly strongly dislike it.  Why set your face on fire everyday?  I don't like anyone enough to go in for that no matter how much they like a smooth cheek.  How's that working out for you now?  What do you mean you don't want to nuzzle my horribly broken out, bleeding ingrown haired face?  Wasn't that what you wanted?  Aw, go to hell!  You don't know what you want.  I want a nice thick beard, thank you ma'am.  Shaving is not for pussies, its simply not for me.  No need to spark a revolution.  Grow a beard or do not.  I won't love you less, but you may find I love you a little more.