Starting over. 27 iterations. Begin again. Are you now or have you been? 27 shots. Done deal. I was much more composed at Carnival this year. I guess a little distance helps. Found some closure over Jee. Found some connection too.
Sometimes all you've got to do is stay the course. Sometimes the only thing you've got to do is not fuck up. It was nice seeing people in real life. It was even nicer being as happy to see them as they were to see you. Wasn't expecting that at all. So much mutual love and understanding. And you feel it and it's like "is this really how the majority of people get to go through life?"
And the answer is an emphatic yes. Or maybe it's a no. But for two days it was a big old yes and it was beautiful just to be in it for it a little while. Just to be in it and forget about all the rest. It was nice to be a stand up guy and ready to throw down for anybody and not have to.
It sucks going back. I don't wanna go. I never do. I want to be there forever. I want to be loved and looked after. I want to wake up naked and happy all of the time. Driving home the sky accelerates. Going back out to space. Giving everyone their due and their distance. It hurts, but I know I have to. They're not prepared to be close to me and I them. A long letting go-ness. Compressed into hours instead of days. I'm one years old again. It feels amazing and stupid. And amazing all over again.
Nothing has changed, but everything has and I don't want to cry and I can't help myself at the same time. There's nothing keeping me dry. Time slicks by like a sinking ship with more passengers than rafts. Shoving off to pluto and all collected. Another year older, another year bolder, another year just a little bit colder. But not alone. Turbines to speed. Birthday wishes pending.
///The Postal Service - "Brand New Colony" ... when you're drowning in an open tub and your judgement's on the brink
Clean with alcohol only. Do not attempt to replace blown fuses. Do not remove access panels. Return to certified mechanic for regular maintenance. Made in the USA.
Showing posts with label blow jobs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blow jobs. Show all posts
6/27/06
bureaucracy... yeah... 06/27/06
Subject : bureaucracy... yeah...
Posted Date: : Jun 27, 2006 8:56 AM
i dont even know if i spelled it right... but anyway... i just wanted to say that it sucks. it sucks horrible horrible prickly donkey balls.
im at work right now and there are 8... count it... EIGHT head honchos on my floor. theyre never up here for any reason (cuz they have to climb stairs to get to the floor i work on) and now there are 8 of them up here. why? well im glad you asked.
theyre installing new microfiche/film readers. well actually they are installing one new microfiche/film reader. why does it take 8 of them to do this??? dont they have better things to do like managing and improving the library catalog system (which fucking sucks dicks) at the university??? there are 8 honchos and 3 technicians.
when we had to shift the entire periodicals collection (literally about two thousand items) to physically make space for new items being added the following year we had all of TWO people working on it. me and some other guy who you wouldn't know anyway. installing one 100 pound machine takes 11 people, but shifting a couple of TONS of materials takes only 2??? they can all go to hell and die. god damn them.
i dont fuckin get it. i guess thats why im just an assistant.
Posted Date: : Jun 27, 2006 8:56 AM
i dont even know if i spelled it right... but anyway... i just wanted to say that it sucks. it sucks horrible horrible prickly donkey balls.
im at work right now and there are 8... count it... EIGHT head honchos on my floor. theyre never up here for any reason (cuz they have to climb stairs to get to the floor i work on) and now there are 8 of them up here. why? well im glad you asked.
theyre installing new microfiche/film readers. well actually they are installing one new microfiche/film reader. why does it take 8 of them to do this??? dont they have better things to do like managing and improving the library catalog system (which fucking sucks dicks) at the university??? there are 8 honchos and 3 technicians.
when we had to shift the entire periodicals collection (literally about two thousand items) to physically make space for new items being added the following year we had all of TWO people working on it. me and some other guy who you wouldn't know anyway. installing one 100 pound machine takes 11 people, but shifting a couple of TONS of materials takes only 2??? they can all go to hell and die. god damn them.
i dont fuckin get it. i guess thats why im just an assistant.
2/8/06
why i hate myspace writers 02/08/06
Subject : Why I hate Myspace Writers
Posted Date: : Feb 8, 2006 4:37 PM
on second thought... i dont mind having to click through five levels of bullshit to get to the writing communities.... the REAL issue here is that none of the writers or at least only a select handful of them are actually worth associating with. fuck 'em, they all suck.
there's nothing wrong with being a self styled writer. what makes it wrong as all hell is when someone proclaims themself a writer and all they do is churn out whatever is bubbling on top of their brain without giving it a second thought. i cant count how many times ive asked people if they ever revise and the answer comes back "i revise as i write." what the fuck does that mean! does that mean they never have to do second drafts because its always perfect word for word as it hits the page. jeeeeezus, i hate hobbyist writers because they make career writers that havent made it yet look like assholes. perfectionist, arrogant assholes. which is untrue for at least half of us.
gah!!!! think about it... if you found a way to eliminate every hobbyist and aching heart pre puber and old ass retired wench knob with too much time on his/her hands and an internet connection, you would thin the field down immediately to college students, career writers, and thinking adolescents. this would, over night, eliminate 1599 of the 1605 groups and would improve the quality, be it a niche group or a broad multi-topical group, of the remaining 6 groups drastically.
so fuck 'em. fuck all of them dabblers and shit scrawlers. someone should just hand them a stick and point them to a hole in the ground full of feces and tell them to stir, because thats all they do when they think they're "contributing." theyre just stirring around the same pot of used up pointless crap the person immediately before them shat out in a different color and texture with the words "comments please," or "first post, be nice" or "suggestions welcome."
The second worst part to all of this is the fucking encouragement loop these dabblers have going. when someone writes shit i call it what it is because they need to know that publishing something to the community means that youve done some work on it and its not just a spray of mucus from a brain sneeze that happend the night before. what the dabblers do however is discredit everything i say by immediately patting their fellow/fellette on the back and saying things like "great job", "i really loved that one", "good metaphor." FUCKING SHIT FACE. stop enabling the bastards and lay down some laws of what it means to be a writer!!! shits gotta stop somewhere.
what i hate the most about myspace is the piss poor quality of the writing groups, what i hate second most are the pointless bits of encouragement that keep them going, revolving doors of no talent hacks and their no talent hack readers.
Posted Date: : Feb 8, 2006 4:37 PM
on second thought... i dont mind having to click through five levels of bullshit to get to the writing communities.... the REAL issue here is that none of the writers or at least only a select handful of them are actually worth associating with. fuck 'em, they all suck.
there's nothing wrong with being a self styled writer. what makes it wrong as all hell is when someone proclaims themself a writer and all they do is churn out whatever is bubbling on top of their brain without giving it a second thought. i cant count how many times ive asked people if they ever revise and the answer comes back "i revise as i write." what the fuck does that mean! does that mean they never have to do second drafts because its always perfect word for word as it hits the page. jeeeeezus, i hate hobbyist writers because they make career writers that havent made it yet look like assholes. perfectionist, arrogant assholes. which is untrue for at least half of us.
gah!!!! think about it... if you found a way to eliminate every hobbyist and aching heart pre puber and old ass retired wench knob with too much time on his/her hands and an internet connection, you would thin the field down immediately to college students, career writers, and thinking adolescents. this would, over night, eliminate 1599 of the 1605 groups and would improve the quality, be it a niche group or a broad multi-topical group, of the remaining 6 groups drastically.
so fuck 'em. fuck all of them dabblers and shit scrawlers. someone should just hand them a stick and point them to a hole in the ground full of feces and tell them to stir, because thats all they do when they think they're "contributing." theyre just stirring around the same pot of used up pointless crap the person immediately before them shat out in a different color and texture with the words "comments please," or "first post, be nice" or "suggestions welcome."
The second worst part to all of this is the fucking encouragement loop these dabblers have going. when someone writes shit i call it what it is because they need to know that publishing something to the community means that youve done some work on it and its not just a spray of mucus from a brain sneeze that happend the night before. what the dabblers do however is discredit everything i say by immediately patting their fellow/fellette on the back and saying things like "great job", "i really loved that one", "good metaphor." FUCKING SHIT FACE. stop enabling the bastards and lay down some laws of what it means to be a writer!!! shits gotta stop somewhere.
what i hate the most about myspace is the piss poor quality of the writing groups, what i hate second most are the pointless bits of encouragement that keep them going, revolving doors of no talent hacks and their no talent hack readers.
1/10/06
the bums lost 01/10/06
Subject : the bums lost
Posted Date: : Jan 10, 2006 12:43 PM
and i need to get a job. so something has come up that is right up my alley... writing. in case you havent noticed yet, my alley is writing. followed in a close second by sex. and a close third by drinking.
this job will entail molding young minds and will probably set me onto the first steps of world domination by converting a few highly intelligent youth to my pessimistic ideals. no one fights harder than the man embittered.
getting this job will entail some luck and unfortunately the application process is encapsulated online so there will be no one to blow to get ahead. this means it will also involve having the right skills, which, as far as im concerned, i do have. so fucking wish me luck. or dont. ive made it this far without your well wishing so dont feel obligated to do something youre not comfortable doing. tard.
Posted Date: : Jan 10, 2006 12:43 PM
and i need to get a job. so something has come up that is right up my alley... writing. in case you havent noticed yet, my alley is writing. followed in a close second by sex. and a close third by drinking.
this job will entail molding young minds and will probably set me onto the first steps of world domination by converting a few highly intelligent youth to my pessimistic ideals. no one fights harder than the man embittered.
getting this job will entail some luck and unfortunately the application process is encapsulated online so there will be no one to blow to get ahead. this means it will also involve having the right skills, which, as far as im concerned, i do have. so fucking wish me luck. or dont. ive made it this far without your well wishing so dont feel obligated to do something youre not comfortable doing. tard.
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