I am disgusted with my flash fiction. It is a house on fire. Electrical fire with buckets of water. Perfect is the enemy of good, but ... holy hell they're bad.
The path of best intentions is paved. That path is raucous. It is passed time to remake them.
///Air - "Radio #1"
Clean with alcohol only. Do not attempt to replace blown fuses. Do not remove access panels. Return to certified mechanic for regular maintenance. Made in the USA.
Showing posts with label air. Show all posts
Showing posts with label air. Show all posts
1/4/15
2/10/11
Tired, but Still Looking
But I don't want the rest of the world to know I'm ready to call a time out. More movement in the bedroom again. Had to turn all the lights on yesterday to verify there was not a foot and a half tall little round black thing running around the edges of my bed. A face poked through my cigarette smoke. Scared the living shit out of me. Not a human face. Kind of looked like a really big nosed lizardy thing. Where do these bastards keep coming from.
I missed you all week. It sucks that we can't hang out more. On working days I have to chop 10 to 11 hours out of my day. 8 at work plus 2 in transit plus an extra one to two depending on how huge a slacker co-workers are being and how much work has to be made up at the end of the day. Out of the 12 hours left I usually have to spend at least 8 asleep so my muscles can knit up again for the next days work (if I don't I've found fatigue stacks up like bad heartburn and just as suddenly). So I've got 4 hours to handle midweek clerical stuff, working out, showering, making lunch for the next day, making a breakfast, and making a dinner if I want one. It's tough.
Discovered bits for flames is gone yesterday. Apparently the domain lapsed. Bad news. Worse news is I'm pretty sure all the files are lost except for the templates and graphics I saved on my desktop which is still trapped in NYC. So now there's a new one I made on blogger. It won't be as functional, but it'll be the story store house. Bits For Flames. I'm so tired tonight. I got lost again in Edgewood. Not on purpose. Have been doing a lot of traveling in dreams though I can't find the train station I used to use so I got lost and aggravated there too trying to find the bus station. Eventually I gave up and hopped in a car with a jitney who took me down to the industrial complex. I don't know why I wanted to go there. In fact I think I was supposed to be somewhere else, but he took me there anyway. I took some great pictures before I woke up. Wish I could draw them for you. It was breath taking.
///Air - "The Vagabond (featuring Beck)" I do the best I can not to worry about things. It's stupid, but all I want right now is god damn hug before I go take on another day of work instead of writing. I want some scotch. I just want to be a little warmer inside than I am right now.
I missed you all week. It sucks that we can't hang out more. On working days I have to chop 10 to 11 hours out of my day. 8 at work plus 2 in transit plus an extra one to two depending on how huge a slacker co-workers are being and how much work has to be made up at the end of the day. Out of the 12 hours left I usually have to spend at least 8 asleep so my muscles can knit up again for the next days work (if I don't I've found fatigue stacks up like bad heartburn and just as suddenly). So I've got 4 hours to handle midweek clerical stuff, working out, showering, making lunch for the next day, making a breakfast, and making a dinner if I want one. It's tough.
Discovered bits for flames is gone yesterday. Apparently the domain lapsed. Bad news. Worse news is I'm pretty sure all the files are lost except for the templates and graphics I saved on my desktop which is still trapped in NYC. So now there's a new one I made on blogger. It won't be as functional, but it'll be the story store house. Bits For Flames. I'm so tired tonight. I got lost again in Edgewood. Not on purpose. Have been doing a lot of traveling in dreams though I can't find the train station I used to use so I got lost and aggravated there too trying to find the bus station. Eventually I gave up and hopped in a car with a jitney who took me down to the industrial complex. I don't know why I wanted to go there. In fact I think I was supposed to be somewhere else, but he took me there anyway. I took some great pictures before I woke up. Wish I could draw them for you. It was breath taking.
///Air - "The Vagabond (featuring Beck)" I do the best I can not to worry about things. It's stupid, but all I want right now is god damn hug before I go take on another day of work instead of writing. I want some scotch. I just want to be a little warmer inside than I am right now.
4/8/10
creative pointers
when it comes to creative pursuits, just as in sports, there are the people who can do it without trying. there are the people who can only do it when someones foot is in their ass to get it done... ...NOW.... and then there are people who have to make at least a semi-conscious effort to produce who also gain no benefit from extreme deadlines. the practicers. or to draw the sports analogy a little tighter... the everyday starters. the guys and girls who dont miss a day, who dont have spectacular highlights every game, but who impress with consistent performance on a day to day basis. the people who you can build a team around.
not that im that guy. i kind of fluctuate between vomiting out work and working consistently. and my consistent work is sometimes consistently good and sometimes consistently bad. i guess im a streaker, more or less. but thats beside the point. speaking of which... heres the point
creative pointers...
i thought about our talk the other day and i think you might be righter. or at least more correct than you were yesterday. which is to say: ill be helpful if i can. if what im about to do counts as helpfulness. i think it does. i feel like it does. it should. well anyway
so im at a point where i know for a fact that im procrastinating. i should be working on a background and general design for the front page of a story blog site i would really like to see materialize as well as do some work on the production company a friend of mine is trying to start up (design wise... we havent even started to consider the legal paperwork and what exactly a production company does when its not tagging its name all over movies). how do i know im procrastinating? easy.... i have all the elements i want to work with... i have the programs installed... i have the web space... aaand for some reason im trying to figure out if i want to take a nap before i get started.
okay.... well that was the worst pointer ever.
was that a pointer?
i dont think i pointed you to anything even remotely useful.
well ... how about this
to rev up motivation for doing one thing it often times helps me to talk about what exactly i am doing even though i know what im doing, but when i get stuck with no one to talk about my poor time management with except myself i get trapped in a loop of thinking ab...
... bored with that. well not bored... but you get the idea. if you get stuck drawing, go paint. if you get stuck painting, go craft something. if you get stuck crafting, go write. if you get stuck writing, go kill yourself. if you get stuck killing yourself, go draw.
and thats my helpful tip. pointer.
and thats my helpful creative pointer.
///Air - "talisman" i dunno if i pointed you this way yet... but this is one of the greatest rainy day songs ever. it swings with a dark jazziness that slides down your consciousness like water down a window pane in light rain while the streets shine and the gutters talk. gorgeously composed and ... thick is the word that comes to mind. thick but not over whelming. you can hear the whole song, whereas some songs are so thick you can only real hear one part or section at a time unless you have like music in your blood or something. anyway. ill tell you what the other one is next time around.
not that im that guy. i kind of fluctuate between vomiting out work and working consistently. and my consistent work is sometimes consistently good and sometimes consistently bad. i guess im a streaker, more or less. but thats beside the point. speaking of which... heres the point
creative pointers...
i thought about our talk the other day and i think you might be righter. or at least more correct than you were yesterday. which is to say: ill be helpful if i can. if what im about to do counts as helpfulness. i think it does. i feel like it does. it should. well anyway
so im at a point where i know for a fact that im procrastinating. i should be working on a background and general design for the front page of a story blog site i would really like to see materialize as well as do some work on the production company a friend of mine is trying to start up (design wise... we havent even started to consider the legal paperwork and what exactly a production company does when its not tagging its name all over movies). how do i know im procrastinating? easy.... i have all the elements i want to work with... i have the programs installed... i have the web space... aaand for some reason im trying to figure out if i want to take a nap before i get started.
okay.... well that was the worst pointer ever.
was that a pointer?
i dont think i pointed you to anything even remotely useful.
well ... how about this
to rev up motivation for doing one thing it often times helps me to talk about what exactly i am doing even though i know what im doing, but when i get stuck with no one to talk about my poor time management with except myself i get trapped in a loop of thinking ab...
... bored with that. well not bored... but you get the idea. if you get stuck drawing, go paint. if you get stuck painting, go craft something. if you get stuck crafting, go write. if you get stuck writing, go kill yourself. if you get stuck killing yourself, go draw.
and thats my helpful tip. pointer.
and thats my helpful creative pointer.
///Air - "talisman" i dunno if i pointed you this way yet... but this is one of the greatest rainy day songs ever. it swings with a dark jazziness that slides down your consciousness like water down a window pane in light rain while the streets shine and the gutters talk. gorgeously composed and ... thick is the word that comes to mind. thick but not over whelming. you can hear the whole song, whereas some songs are so thick you can only real hear one part or section at a time unless you have like music in your blood or something. anyway. ill tell you what the other one is next time around.
3/16/10
...and a shave
the showering thing ive gotten used to. i can accept that as necessary enough. i mean i dont like it when i stink either. it gets annoying. i suspect mostly because im used to being clean at this point in my life and if i did just smell bad all day i would eventually stop noticing, but thats not the point. the point is there is a definite reason for showering. it hurts our olfactory nerves when people dont.
the shitting thing ive gotten used to as well. i can accept that as necessary too. in fact ive come to enjoy flushing my body of, well, shit on a regular basis. better to do it than not do it and wish to god you could. you know. those lonely mornings. youre about to be late for work. you know youve got a 45 minute car or train ride ahead of you. do you do it. do you take the chance. you do. and you regret it. because all you made was a rabbit turd but the pressure is still there isnt it. oh yes it is. youre not going anywhere for the next 15, maybe even 20, minutes. you are going to be late. bet you wish you ate that bran muffin instead of cold triple cheese pizza for breakfast yesterday. bet you wish you had vegetables with your dinner instead of another slice of double thick cream pie. but yeah. ive gotten used to enjoying regular shits.
the shaving thing i have not gotten used to. why does america hate people that dont shave. why do i have to be either A) famous B) infamous C) a pro athlete D) an award winner or E) ridiculously rich to wear a beard??? that makes no god damn sense. who am i hurting by wearing a beard? why is it that the guy with the beard has a worse chance of being hired, befriended, or whatever if he has a beard. i love my beard. i would never stop wearing my beard ever if it wasnt ripped off of my face but ridiculous policies. my beard is awesome. its comfortable, its clean, its groomed. men have hair on their faces! okay america!!! i cant fucking help it!!! i am a guy!!! i grow hair on my body. its part of being manly and awesome. when did that stop being the case. when did it become more manly to shampoo with delicate fragrances and wax your fucking back. what the @#$%@ i hate you america. i hate you so much for that reason. me having a beard doesnt affect how i do my job or how i interact with other people. it doesnt catch food or strain my soups. all it does is make my life a little brighter and you have to fucking take it away from me. hate you. whatever. there's one part of my body that i shave consistently and that is my pubes. the one place where hair is gross cuz it well if you're a guy and you sweat AT ALL and your prick isnt the size of a thimble you know what kind of strange smells and general unpleasantness can accumulate down there. but whatever. fine. ill shave my face. ill fall in line. cuz at the end of the day a job pays me money and my beard doesnt (yet, but if anyone wants to do some old school hairy manly man bangs hot chick with afro pubes on a shag rug with lava lamps in the background and a "huge" 24 inch color tube set in the foreground while her boyfriend calls her on her curly cord rotary phone and it rings and rings cuz answering machines werent within the budget cuz they were fucking expensive back then... we'll see who has the last laugh).
///Air - "Radian" that song you refused to listen to because it sounded like one of those dumb atmospheric "electronica" techno whatever tracks mushroom eating idiots who swear by pink floyd love to listen to when their high or whatever, except you forgot to turn it off and two and a half minutes in the atmosphere broke into some kind of jazz that you love to listen but never told anyone about because you thought they would criticize you for criticizing its functional synonym in a different medium but now you can understand why somebody might like that other stuff you hate but it doesnt really matter cuz youre still going to pretend to hate it anyway for appearances sake.
the shitting thing ive gotten used to as well. i can accept that as necessary too. in fact ive come to enjoy flushing my body of, well, shit on a regular basis. better to do it than not do it and wish to god you could. you know. those lonely mornings. youre about to be late for work. you know youve got a 45 minute car or train ride ahead of you. do you do it. do you take the chance. you do. and you regret it. because all you made was a rabbit turd but the pressure is still there isnt it. oh yes it is. youre not going anywhere for the next 15, maybe even 20, minutes. you are going to be late. bet you wish you ate that bran muffin instead of cold triple cheese pizza for breakfast yesterday. bet you wish you had vegetables with your dinner instead of another slice of double thick cream pie. but yeah. ive gotten used to enjoying regular shits.
the shaving thing i have not gotten used to. why does america hate people that dont shave. why do i have to be either A) famous B) infamous C) a pro athlete D) an award winner or E) ridiculously rich to wear a beard??? that makes no god damn sense. who am i hurting by wearing a beard? why is it that the guy with the beard has a worse chance of being hired, befriended, or whatever if he has a beard. i love my beard. i would never stop wearing my beard ever if it wasnt ripped off of my face but ridiculous policies. my beard is awesome. its comfortable, its clean, its groomed. men have hair on their faces! okay america!!! i cant fucking help it!!! i am a guy!!! i grow hair on my body. its part of being manly and awesome. when did that stop being the case. when did it become more manly to shampoo with delicate fragrances and wax your fucking back. what the @#$%@ i hate you america. i hate you so much for that reason. me having a beard doesnt affect how i do my job or how i interact with other people. it doesnt catch food or strain my soups. all it does is make my life a little brighter and you have to fucking take it away from me. hate you. whatever. there's one part of my body that i shave consistently and that is my pubes. the one place where hair is gross cuz it well if you're a guy and you sweat AT ALL and your prick isnt the size of a thimble you know what kind of strange smells and general unpleasantness can accumulate down there. but whatever. fine. ill shave my face. ill fall in line. cuz at the end of the day a job pays me money and my beard doesnt (yet, but if anyone wants to do some old school hairy manly man bangs hot chick with afro pubes on a shag rug with lava lamps in the background and a "huge" 24 inch color tube set in the foreground while her boyfriend calls her on her curly cord rotary phone and it rings and rings cuz answering machines werent within the budget cuz they were fucking expensive back then... we'll see who has the last laugh).
///Air - "Radian" that song you refused to listen to because it sounded like one of those dumb atmospheric "electronica" techno whatever tracks mushroom eating idiots who swear by pink floyd love to listen to when their high or whatever, except you forgot to turn it off and two and a half minutes in the atmosphere broke into some kind of jazz that you love to listen but never told anyone about because you thought they would criticize you for criticizing its functional synonym in a different medium but now you can understand why somebody might like that other stuff you hate but it doesnt really matter cuz youre still going to pretend to hate it anyway for appearances sake.
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