lifetime voyeur 12/23/05

Subject : lifetime voyeur

Posted Date: : Dec 23, 2005 12:06 AM

everyone has their "perverted" side. right? well maybe not. Maybe that's just what i tell myself when i neglect to close my blinds... ever. Its nice though waking up and finding your room full of sunlight, and nothing inspires more poetic thoughts than say a room full of the glow of city lights, a mattress in heaps, bare skin, and nothing else.

to each his/her own. maybe. I can't really explain why this turns me on, but it does. I suppose when I become a kept man my hot blonde in her middle 60s will want to show off everything she does with her sweet, dream boat catch, of a sexaholic kept man, so i suppose its not really a bad thing that I like "showing off" already. Or maybe it is because after all it is a little perverted.

Maybe its just the knowing that something is considered a little perverted that provides the turn on. Maybe thats how everyone feels about everything sexual. If so then I think im just going to go ahead and keep my blinds open. all the time. and hope my future employer feels the same way.

no flash photography please.

the training continues.

everyone and their mama 11/07/05

Subject : everyone and their mama has a six pack

Posted Date: : Nov 7, 2005 10:08 PM

everyone and their mama has a six pack. Yes. Thats right. Absolutely everyone on myspace and their mother has a six pack. If your picture features you with no shirt on while you "floss" your hot six you are essentially saying "this is all i have to offer the rest of the world" please love me. Do you really think your 320 by 480 pixel image of six lumps on your body will make everyone say... "holy shit this dude is awesome, i wish i could be his friend in real life. ill just have to friend him and leave comments as though ive known him since he was born." ... well i guess if you are posting images of your rippling bod this is probably exactly what youre hoping for. confirmation.

So now you know. Your six parcel does not set you apart from the rest of the males. it does not tatoo an alpha on the side of your neck that will suddenly make panties fly down the toned tanned limbs of the honies. in fact everyone has got them. at least everyone who cares. I don;t have one and i dont care. i barely have a four pack and i'll tell you what, its awesome. no maintenance. i eat what i want and drink what i want and enjoy life without the insecurity of narcissism plucking out my eyelashes one by one as i lose sleep wondering if the ho ho i had for lunch is going to coalesce into a gram of fat particles.

instead of pumping iron in the gym with the other roid head protein (shake) guzzlers or beating myself half dead around a track i sit comfortably at home playing video games and shagging my wonderful wonderful lady. who is smoking hot.

earth to slater, a recent poll actually pointed out that more "attractive" women enjoy dating men who look like men. just regular guys. who wear dirty sweatpants, grow beards, and have little egg bellies. i mean, even if someone did go out with you for your sextuplets what is going to happen when they fade away in the deluge of beer, partying, and sedentary bf/gf life? i suppose to someone like you it probably doesnt matter, shallow hal that you are, it's too bad you haven't been beaten upside the head to adjust your view of everyone and everything that may happen to have breasts and a vagina.

oh well. go, mr. six pack picture. go to the gym and to the track and take pictures of yourself with your web cam for myspace when you get back, but don't dally or the sweat may dry off, and we all know how important that lustrous sheen is when dazzling your lesser viewers. in your mind you are god and well, i applaud you, because one day you're going to stare up at the cracked plaster of your bachelor pad with some myspacer slut lieing next to you that you "scored" with (but not really because she was the one who made all the connections and did all the work and will forget about you before the sun comes up while you will reminisce to your home skillets about how you really gave it to her for weeks upon weeks to come) and you will realize she probably did this to the other 9000 "cool dudes" who messaged her after she left comments on their six pack of "hot" abdominal pictures.

Mr. six pack... i salute you! king of the man bimbos.

the only six packs i care about carrying are the ones that come with aluminum tabs and are bound together in plastic ring caddies. =count it!=

e is for ass hats

Subject : e is for ass hats!

Posted Date: : Oct 13, 2005 1:03 PM

so i have recently found myself crawling through myspace only to stumble upon the emo pinings of some sad dreg of emo space. i suspect he sucked his way across the sub ether of webspace and found an audience on myspace. why this happens is amazing to me. well not amazing but more like befuddling.

what the fuck is so attractive about some poor gent who is convinced all he wants is to be alone AND wanted!!! what the hell does that mean! i defy you to tell me what it means when someone says they want to be a shadow and at the same time keep whining that no one cares about who they really are. fuck them. who they really are obviously must suck since they don't even want to be who they are. it makes no sense.

and on top of all of this is the poetry. as a poet i have written and cried over my own weepy pathetic work through high school but god damn it you emo slut face ASS HATS... why don't you evolve. move on. alright dont want to evolve becasue bitching is what you're good at? fine. dont move on. but at least GET BETTER AT WHAT IT IS YOU FEEL DRIVEN TO DO. which is spilling your little guts at the drop of a hat to all the wet shouldered women who find it attractive. you sorry man slut. I am shamed (or at least the poet in me) every time you put fingers to keyboard because all you write is the same garbage over and over and over... and if not that then you are stealing some reputable artists work and construing it to fit the molds of your DRIVEL.

i hate most of you because you have no style. i hate some of you because you can't fucking write to save your "worhtless, misunderstood" lives. and the rest of the ones i hate because people actually buy your crap day after day after "pathetic-suicide-contemplating-quivering-beneath-the-cold-blanket-of-death-taking-your-never-ending-last-breath-but-refusing-to-die-for-the-benefit-of-the-rest-of-the-world-because-its-how-you-fight-the-quote-unquote-unbearable-lightness-of-being-(a-douchebag)"day.

for the love of god SHUT THE FUCK UP for once... or are you afraid you'll lose your little fan club of sympathetic robots who think they understand but never really can (which makes you better than them right?). argh.