are awful movies. Mr. and Mrs. Smith? Suuucked. you mean to tell me first of all, that her noodle arms can do half of the things shes supposed to be doing? accurately? repeatedly? i mean come on. the world of pornography tells me that most girls with arms that fucking anemic cant finish off a hand job single handedly... let alone finish off a cock thats been warmed over by 45 minutes of bed breaking sex (not that that actually happens in the real world unless you do a few lines of body numbing coke first). i mean really? legs that thin couldnt carry that kind of body armor on that body for more than five minutes unless it was being carried in a shopping cart.
not to bash on the lady action heroes but bitches is runnin wild. makes no sense. okay fine, the human body is an amazing thing. ill grant you that. pain tolerance through the roof, sure, that too, who cares. i think guys and girls probably bear up the same under duress in combat situations anyway. id probably rather give birth than have my knees blown out with a .45 or have a bomb blast shatter the bones in my legs. fine. doing flips and shit... okay. ive seen the olympics. its doable. buuuut not with that body. maybe like venus williams body. or some other ridiculously jacked (for a girl) body.
"but the guys arent totally jacked, waah youre full of shit..." am i? have you watched professional combat anything. sure there are hyper jacked dudes, but most of them arent ridiculously cut from marble or anything like that. so i could understand the guys doing similar things without an eye popping amount of muscle. but most importantly, inevitably, we run into the head shot problem in these movies. dumb one liners are unavoidable. always have been in any buddy cop movie... but in the guy girl variety they come with that special blend of "buut shes a girl... she cant shoot guns or do guy stuff" tom hanks pitched humor delivered with the subtlety of SNL. but the head shot problem. youd think someone... anyone would get lucky. i went shooting for the first time and yeah i used maybe 30-ish rounds... maybe 40... but i still got 5 maybe 6 bullseye. just pulled em right out of my ass. my eyes were completely closed cuz shooting was just that jarring and i kept flinching... but still thats about a 6% head shot rate... by accident. if these goons are firing off hundreds of rounds every MINUTE someone should be able to hit jolees apple head at least once. by accident. and if not her head than somewhere on her unprotected paper thin frame.
and am i to believe that .... whatever. losing interest. as we type. greenberg is gonna suck too. another sad jewish guy just cant find happiness in life because he hates everything. awkward relationship jokes, go. awkward past relationship jokes, go. cue every single woody allen flick meets every single adam sandler flick meets ben stiller getting old and contemplative meets .... i dunno.... meets a donkey dressed as a mule out on the town looking for some hot horse poonanny. is that how you spell that... poonanny. doesnt look right. looks gross. poo does not belong in that word. greenberg does not belong in this world. if jolie died today i bet the retrospective would be enough to make every single one of her million children committ suicide courtesy the angry hands of brad pitt. OR ... tila tequila will ... i dunno... insert something completely asinine and repugnant. burn.... all of them... what if there was a car accident involving those two. i dont think id be sad at all. but then i wonder .... well i dont suppose i wonder... i know someone is probably thinking that in my direction.
lethal weapon is the gold standard for buddy cop action/drama films and has yet to be dethroned. 1,3,2,4 in that order. closest runner up? the first die hard. second runner up? fuck if i know. they all blend together after that. oohhh wait... rush hour. forgot about them boys. new order.... LW1, DH1, LW3, rush hour, LW4, beverly hills cop1, LW2, RH2, the naked gun. that is all.
every time two hate filled thoughts butt heads another child is born. also every time two club rats meet face to face. thats why they only talk directly to each other via bathroom mirrors. its a service to humanity. im not going to have kids. as a service to humanity. i will fuck them up for life if i do.
///aesop rock - "gun for the whole family" clap clap encore.it sucks when some mc s are considered too cerebral to make club music. no wait... thats awesome. or... hmmm im not sure where that thought started. well its a great song that is in my opinion about the mores and quirks of violence in societies, specifically ours. and i do so love the medium i was brought up in.
Clean with alcohol only. Do not attempt to replace blown fuses. Do not remove access panels. Return to certified mechanic for regular maintenance. Made in the USA.
Showing posts with label forehead mcgavin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label forehead mcgavin. Show all posts
8/12/09
wheeen was (regular dude things)
when was the last time you>>
listened to the fight club soundtrack
played the first gran turismo
smoked a cigarette more than three days after you quit
watched blade runner
played game cube
looked up the current price of a dreamcast
watched a kungfu movie made before 1990
ate two pieces of bacon and stopped
watched the towelie episode of southpark
saw the intro to futurama before it was on comedy central
played more than three consecutive games of pong
played more than ten consecutive games of any table top sport
debated the merits of 2001 versus apocalypse now
pointed out the retardedness of the majority of heath ledgers career
made pancakes and eggs and cheeseburgers for dinner
had a ghetto memosa(sp)
quoted that sci fi show without worrying about the pair of tits ten feet away
made fun of club rats, popped collars, chick foreheads, and broadzillas
told a dumb chick to shut up
discussed who would win in a fight between (old tv show hero A) versus (old tv show hero B)
played putt putt with someone who took it waay too seriously
imitated ultimate top spin challenge
stayed up to watch the adult swim reruns... all of them... friday, saturday, and sunday
watched food network from noon to three
technically had a sausage fest and honestly didnt care
enjoyed a natty before 3 pm
blasted led zepplin instead of a song featured on "now thats what i call music #'n'"
played ssbm for fun
watched sonny chiba rip someones throat out
enjoyed a GB
///the dust brothers - "homework" get started. due by two a.m. late submissions can be made for zero credit and correction notes only.
listened to the fight club soundtrack
played the first gran turismo
smoked a cigarette more than three days after you quit
watched blade runner
played game cube
looked up the current price of a dreamcast
watched a kungfu movie made before 1990
ate two pieces of bacon and stopped
watched the towelie episode of southpark
saw the intro to futurama before it was on comedy central
played more than three consecutive games of pong
played more than ten consecutive games of any table top sport
debated the merits of 2001 versus apocalypse now
pointed out the retardedness of the majority of heath ledgers career
made pancakes and eggs and cheeseburgers for dinner
had a ghetto memosa(sp)
quoted that sci fi show without worrying about the pair of tits ten feet away
made fun of club rats, popped collars, chick foreheads, and broadzillas
told a dumb chick to shut up
discussed who would win in a fight between (old tv show hero A) versus (old tv show hero B)
played putt putt with someone who took it waay too seriously
imitated ultimate top spin challenge
stayed up to watch the adult swim reruns... all of them... friday, saturday, and sunday
watched food network from noon to three
technically had a sausage fest and honestly didnt care
enjoyed a natty before 3 pm
blasted led zepplin instead of a song featured on "now thats what i call music #'n'"
played ssbm for fun
watched sonny chiba rip someones throat out
enjoyed a GB
///the dust brothers - "homework" get started. due by two a.m. late submissions can be made for zero credit and correction notes only.
4/3/07
all up ins 04/03/07
Subject : all up ins & all up ons
Posted Date: : Apr 3, 2007 7:03 PM
my thoughts are all over the place. they are as follows:
sorry, been away for a bit. it happens. anyway... i saw the trailer for the new transformers flick. the new trailer... and i know the movie is going to be terrible in some way that i havent thought of yet. how do i know this? because tyler durden know this? no. because its coming out on the fourth of july. nothing good ever comes out on the fourth of july with that many explosions in it. period. and if it is good... it is always over shadowed by the powerfully... movingly... tear jerkingly bad films. now i dont mind if it has a bad script. my life has a bad script but im not about to commit suicide. i will mind if it has nothing to do with the transformers universe. whoever directed it better show some 'spect to the real transformers fans.
on another note. i may have to cut my long luxurious locks. yes it is true. i didnt even look up the correct spelling for that high falutin way of saying hair. i also did not look up the spelling for that stuffy way of saying over rought. i dont care. i know im going to miss my hair a great deal, but part of me will very much enjoy being able to wash my hair with a mere palmful of shampoo instead of the usual 1/8th of a bottle. itll be soooooooo nice to feel the wind on my scalp again... and just look different from how i've looked for the past four years. you'd be jumping out of your fuckin skull too if the only way you could change your appearance was by growing facial hair.
speaking of jumping out of your skull... whats with all the "check out my cam" people around here. i kind of figured this would happen eventually... but seriously... how much money are they really making? how come no one talks about it? its not like it isnt there. the whole thing is retarded. i could be a pornstar, but since there's no data out there how am i supposed to make an informed decision! what are the health benefits? annual income? how hard is it to find work? i know i thought about this before... but now im really curious since im being bombarded by this shit show non-stop. anyway. whatever. life moves on...
to my next thing. im really not sure what im going to do once i get this degree that ive had to practically kill for. i dont want to teach little little kids because they dont want to learn. the ones that want to learn ar e so few and far between i feel like it wouldnt even be worth it to try to teach tiny kids. i'm thinking im going to have to gun for highschoolers because they, or at least more of them, will understand the importance of doing their homework and paying attention... and i could yell at them without them wetting their pants or offending their parents. the military is out. my ankles suck from too much abuse and i know i wouldnt pass a military physical for that reason (among others). I've still yet to win a writing competition on my campus so i dont know if ill be able to be a successful writer either. so i mean... i cant kill things/people for a pension... i cant sell drugs and also be married... i cant teach little kids... and i probably will never be a kept man (no job security)... so it looks like highschool teacher will be it. that way i get to help people and also have summers to write the bazillion novels i have planned out.
the one im working on now is a spoof of donnie darko and american beauty. i keep readin over the storyline and im having a hard time convincing myself its worth writing. i think ill shelve it. i really wish i knew who liked reading my stuff and who thought it was a big lot of shit. oh well.
gonna be 22 soon. here's to not dieing =)
as my closing argument i would like to say that i like feet. cute toes are awesome. my girlfriend has cute toes. they're absolutely precious. so the problem, of course is that in warm weather everyone starts wearing open toed shoes and it gets kind of awkward for me. yeah. really. it does. its like seeing everyone in their swim suits and it really does bother me to a degree. its frustrating... but it also ties back to what i originally said about images of an ideal. everyone carries images in their minds... and the reason why we say this person or that person is attractive is because they fit those images as closely as one can find. what makes two people attracted to eachother, as my theory goes, is the reciprocity of image discovery. so for me... a person who looks at women from bottom to top it gets frustrating seeing reflections of ideals so incredibly incomplete, but it is also so comforting to know that the closest match from toe to head is the person i love. sorry if thats not the case for you. i always feel a little guilty effusing about love to ppl who may not be so fortunate or just outright screwed to not be in a mostly happy situation with a significant other.
p.s. my feet smell. actually its my flip-flops. but still. guross.
p.p.s. when i cut my hair im going to turn it into a wig which i will wear at the earliest and most hillariously convenient moment.
///sneaker Pimps - "think harder" i feel like this song is one of the most organic tracks i've heard in a while. by organic i dont mean completely random and frothy with fractals and rainbows and moss. by organic i mean the song generates images and sensations of pulsations that induce in my body the urge to dance in a very swarthy, sweaty, hip grindy, breathy, kind of way. when i hear this song i feel like im inside the beating heart of some enormous whale and the party is gonna go all night.
Posted Date: : Apr 3, 2007 7:03 PM
my thoughts are all over the place. they are as follows:
sorry, been away for a bit. it happens. anyway... i saw the trailer for the new transformers flick. the new trailer... and i know the movie is going to be terrible in some way that i havent thought of yet. how do i know this? because tyler durden know this? no. because its coming out on the fourth of july. nothing good ever comes out on the fourth of july with that many explosions in it. period. and if it is good... it is always over shadowed by the powerfully... movingly... tear jerkingly bad films. now i dont mind if it has a bad script. my life has a bad script but im not about to commit suicide. i will mind if it has nothing to do with the transformers universe. whoever directed it better show some 'spect to the real transformers fans.
on another note. i may have to cut my long luxurious locks. yes it is true. i didnt even look up the correct spelling for that high falutin way of saying hair. i also did not look up the spelling for that stuffy way of saying over rought. i dont care. i know im going to miss my hair a great deal, but part of me will very much enjoy being able to wash my hair with a mere palmful of shampoo instead of the usual 1/8th of a bottle. itll be soooooooo nice to feel the wind on my scalp again... and just look different from how i've looked for the past four years. you'd be jumping out of your fuckin skull too if the only way you could change your appearance was by growing facial hair.
speaking of jumping out of your skull... whats with all the "check out my cam" people around here. i kind of figured this would happen eventually... but seriously... how much money are they really making? how come no one talks about it? its not like it isnt there. the whole thing is retarded. i could be a pornstar, but since there's no data out there how am i supposed to make an informed decision! what are the health benefits? annual income? how hard is it to find work? i know i thought about this before... but now im really curious since im being bombarded by this shit show non-stop. anyway. whatever. life moves on...
to my next thing. im really not sure what im going to do once i get this degree that ive had to practically kill for. i dont want to teach little little kids because they dont want to learn. the ones that want to learn ar e so few and far between i feel like it wouldnt even be worth it to try to teach tiny kids. i'm thinking im going to have to gun for highschoolers because they, or at least more of them, will understand the importance of doing their homework and paying attention... and i could yell at them without them wetting their pants or offending their parents. the military is out. my ankles suck from too much abuse and i know i wouldnt pass a military physical for that reason (among others). I've still yet to win a writing competition on my campus so i dont know if ill be able to be a successful writer either. so i mean... i cant kill things/people for a pension... i cant sell drugs and also be married... i cant teach little kids... and i probably will never be a kept man (no job security)... so it looks like highschool teacher will be it. that way i get to help people and also have summers to write the bazillion novels i have planned out.
the one im working on now is a spoof of donnie darko and american beauty. i keep readin over the storyline and im having a hard time convincing myself its worth writing. i think ill shelve it. i really wish i knew who liked reading my stuff and who thought it was a big lot of shit. oh well.
gonna be 22 soon. here's to not dieing =)
as my closing argument i would like to say that i like feet. cute toes are awesome. my girlfriend has cute toes. they're absolutely precious. so the problem, of course is that in warm weather everyone starts wearing open toed shoes and it gets kind of awkward for me. yeah. really. it does. its like seeing everyone in their swim suits and it really does bother me to a degree. its frustrating... but it also ties back to what i originally said about images of an ideal. everyone carries images in their minds... and the reason why we say this person or that person is attractive is because they fit those images as closely as one can find. what makes two people attracted to eachother, as my theory goes, is the reciprocity of image discovery. so for me... a person who looks at women from bottom to top it gets frustrating seeing reflections of ideals so incredibly incomplete, but it is also so comforting to know that the closest match from toe to head is the person i love. sorry if thats not the case for you. i always feel a little guilty effusing about love to ppl who may not be so fortunate or just outright screwed to not be in a mostly happy situation with a significant other.
p.s. my feet smell. actually its my flip-flops. but still. guross.
p.p.s. when i cut my hair im going to turn it into a wig which i will wear at the earliest and most hillariously convenient moment.
///sneaker Pimps - "think harder" i feel like this song is one of the most organic tracks i've heard in a while. by organic i dont mean completely random and frothy with fractals and rainbows and moss. by organic i mean the song generates images and sensations of pulsations that induce in my body the urge to dance in a very swarthy, sweaty, hip grindy, breathy, kind of way. when i hear this song i feel like im inside the beating heart of some enormous whale and the party is gonna go all night.
11/17/06
close the deal 11/17/06
Subject : close the deal
Posted Date: : Nov 17, 2006 6:12 PM
ill admit it. i dont know how to "close the deal." I am just not a closer. i cant tell when its time to stop hitting on a girl and whip it out. i have no idea how thats supposed to even work, and whats more is that sometimes im not even sure if im hitting on them or if my advances are registering as something else. i know im a charismatic guy, but so was satan and im pretty sure hes not getting laid that often.
using lines like, "do you wanna go upstairs," just seem to me like bullshit. utter bullshit. why cant i just say "lets fuck". how come honesty isnt appreciated. well maybe it is. i guess i just have to find that girl that appreciates honesty. i dont want to date in college... i dont want to put in weeks of work on something that will only last a couple of nights... and i dont want to have my fucking hands tied up all day for a wet hole to put my penis in at night. i want my cake and i want to eat it. all of it.
okay... rant over. on another note... i went to get beer today and the beer garage wouldnt take my license. this is the second god damn time they've done this and i have no idea why. im pretty sure its not because im black. i just got the id a few days ago. brand fucking new. why does maryland make non-scannable licenses! what the fuck is going on with the world!
to hit yet another note... i read the most widely circulated coloumn in america yesterday. it was a coloumn written the day after 9-11 and it was terrible. it read like an over blown steroid shooting coaches speech to his team after they were down 28 points at the half. it was clearly a bunch of emotional crap that people would eat up like margarine rolled in powdered sugar and it was totally bullshit. to sum up the coloumn i will say one phrase because this was essentially the only point the coloumnist made: "we're gonna mess you guys up for this, man." that was it. the language he used was so broad and so sweeping it made me want to wretch right there in the middle of class. just yak all over my desk. it was awful, it was presumptuous, it was horribly biased, it was hateful, and it ignored the scope of the event in the longer run. it was as though bush paid the guy to whip it up and help get everyone here riled up and saber rattling. lame.
its times like these that i wish i could go back in time and assassinate people. fuck going back in time to make money. i just want to go back and adjust the gene pool of America cuz she is getting mighty retarded these days.
Posted Date: : Nov 17, 2006 6:12 PM
ill admit it. i dont know how to "close the deal." I am just not a closer. i cant tell when its time to stop hitting on a girl and whip it out. i have no idea how thats supposed to even work, and whats more is that sometimes im not even sure if im hitting on them or if my advances are registering as something else. i know im a charismatic guy, but so was satan and im pretty sure hes not getting laid that often.
using lines like, "do you wanna go upstairs," just seem to me like bullshit. utter bullshit. why cant i just say "lets fuck". how come honesty isnt appreciated. well maybe it is. i guess i just have to find that girl that appreciates honesty. i dont want to date in college... i dont want to put in weeks of work on something that will only last a couple of nights... and i dont want to have my fucking hands tied up all day for a wet hole to put my penis in at night. i want my cake and i want to eat it. all of it.
okay... rant over. on another note... i went to get beer today and the beer garage wouldnt take my license. this is the second god damn time they've done this and i have no idea why. im pretty sure its not because im black. i just got the id a few days ago. brand fucking new. why does maryland make non-scannable licenses! what the fuck is going on with the world!
to hit yet another note... i read the most widely circulated coloumn in america yesterday. it was a coloumn written the day after 9-11 and it was terrible. it read like an over blown steroid shooting coaches speech to his team after they were down 28 points at the half. it was clearly a bunch of emotional crap that people would eat up like margarine rolled in powdered sugar and it was totally bullshit. to sum up the coloumn i will say one phrase because this was essentially the only point the coloumnist made: "we're gonna mess you guys up for this, man." that was it. the language he used was so broad and so sweeping it made me want to wretch right there in the middle of class. just yak all over my desk. it was awful, it was presumptuous, it was horribly biased, it was hateful, and it ignored the scope of the event in the longer run. it was as though bush paid the guy to whip it up and help get everyone here riled up and saber rattling. lame.
its times like these that i wish i could go back in time and assassinate people. fuck going back in time to make money. i just want to go back and adjust the gene pool of America cuz she is getting mighty retarded these days.
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