AUTHOR.CALHO: If I didn't write it, I would be hitch hiking cross country to Maine and then Alaska in that order. While taking frequent breaks to spread leaflets. And sit in diners. And write on things because I wasn't at a computer. I may still do that in a few years. Writing this also helps me forget about and better understand the limitations of being human, and keeps me busy enough to allow me no free time to burn the world down.

THEMATIC.ABOUT : Collapse often. The things that hold people together and hold them apart and scatter brains. The things that make thoughts go boom. The things that ooh and aah and [expletive deleted]. Sometimes poking around the margins where responsibility ends and the only one to look to is the Original Equipment Manufacturer and say "but, I already pressed 9 for more options and the menus are exactly the same. Can you just replace it?" The answer will be: "please hold." Sometimes hanging out in dark corners. Sometimes following the train tracks. Looking for ways out and ways in and all the while sharing the things seen and heard and done and drawn and written and scorched and healed and teased and caged and dreamed along the way.
Showing posts with label awful music. Show all posts
Showing posts with label awful music. Show all posts

9/2/11

Awful Music File #tmg4808Ld

Tim McGraw should never be heard on a public address system.  The high arching, box rattling, over produced, voice on top of voice thing he's got going on is about as rich sounding as a beaver going under the wheels of a semi tractor trailer.

Can you imagine being at a happy hour and hearing forty dudes belting this out in waves of hot bear and peanut shell breath while all you want to do is lose yourself and early hangover in twelve ounces of what passes for peace in your life. If you had to hear that your head would literally explode. Not figuratively. Literally. Your head would disappear in a mist of bone and brain and the rest of your body would envy it for getting the hell out of there.

On top of that is the fact that the song offers you, the listener, the worst advice on how to live life imaginable. Seriously, if you live like you're dying you'll end up doing all the shit that eventually gets people killed.  Idiots.  Well, singular.  Idiot -> Tim McGraw.

3/6/11

Brief Epiphany About Art

Well, I don't know where to begin so I'll not bore myself with where I started. It occurred to me today that a huge part of what makes art great is the cost of producing it, or at least the perception of the cost of producing it. Not in terms of money or materials, but in terms of human costs. The universal currency of time, blood, and sweat.

Seeing a nice installation is neat, but if it looks like, with enough money and a stockpile of whatever and a staff of interns, it could have been put together without much blood, sweat, or time, it had better be pretty mentally challenging to perceive to create a feeling of value, regardless of personal tastes. I guess that's what is galling sometimes. In terms of writing. Writing is ridiculously time intensive, but the perception is so often that the hard part is developing some new and insightful perspective. Honestly I think it's the other way around. Before I chase that rabbit though I want to go farther down the art hole.

Everyone has personal tastes and likes and dislikes. Whatever, that's not news. A major component of art appreciation transcends likes and dislikes. People can appreciate monuments, whether they like or dislike what the thing stands for, because they can understand the difficulty of moving a brick so many feet from one point to another point. Maybe not so much now with machines to do things, and construction being a shrinking sector and people growing up not understanding how to use hammers and wrenches and whatnot. And I think the clearer art can demonstrate the intensive effort of it's production the more easily it is appreciated.

Sometimes it means producing things on a huge scale. Sometimes it is fulfilled in creating things with dozens, maybe hundreds, of physical layers. In electronic media it may mean creating something by hand at a ridiculously minute resolution or something that evidences sampling over a huge span of time or archive work that demands exploration of a great span of time units, whatever those units may be. Or maybe selection and hand picking of complex individual components for inclusion into the final composition. Whatever it is, however it demonstrates it, the appeal of art is, I feel, in large part attributable to the perception of the effort required to produce it and entirely apart from the perception of skill, talent, and other addends that went into its development. That's what makes people want these things.

People who can identify the human cost of producing a thing want it, on some level if not entirely (assuming it doesn't fix their fancy to begin with), because they know that such and such an amount of someone's being is in it. Permanently. And they can own that part of that person's being. It's not a bad thing. It does make me wonder if the majority of art owners, if it is even possible to measure something like that, are male. I bet a big part of the art school curriculum explores these topics. I hope art student kids don't think of me as a poseur. "He didn't go to art school, he's not allowed to talk about art stuff." Whatever. The closest some people get to composition is writing their shopping lists for the grocery store and they think they can comment on writing. I wonder if writers, by and large, hate artists? Writing is just systematized art. Art is just codified writing. Poetry is the intersection. Alright, back to what I was doing before. Just wanted to think about art aloud for a few minutes. Can you imagine the cavemen debating over whose cave scrawls made more sense? Nope, neither can I.



///The Eagles - "Take It Easy" It's not a good song, but it is easy to listen to. I would recommend it for filler between things you really want to listen to. Perhaps, play it to fill the minutes you need to go use the bathroom. It really is like highway rest stop atrium music. Can't you hear this echoing on burgundy tile at 9 in the morning a couple hundred miles from your destination in a glassed up rest stop and your ass hurts and you don't really want to eat Roy Rogers for any reason, but you already ate Mcdonalds for dinner and had the worst shits of your life a couple hundred miles before you had to get out and take a leak and realized you were hungrier than a fox fresh out of eggs?

10/6/10

Worst Song Ever, Part 3:

Worst song ever # GHQQPXC1333298K6 Moby - Whispering Wind:

I suppose I probably shouldn't go as hard on people as I do when it comes to creative production mainly because I am so familiar with the inherent problems in content generation, especially when the requirement of said generation is that there be a certain amount of freshness. In fact I almost feel bad even including this because I know that every artist has a certain thematic vein that runs through their careers and even the widely disparate U.N.K.L.E albums do have a certain genealogy to them that is absolutely traceable from one offering to the next even though the actual sounds appear on their surface to be absolutely different. This song by Moby is almost able to fit itself into that thematic category. Where does it fall short? Everywhere. I even don't even feel the urge to describe so bland a thing here. In fact, even talking about it here has made this entry extremely bland. And now I hate myself for allowing myself to be distracted by so bland a blanding. I've been blanded. God damn it. I have to undo this. Immediately. But how??? Shuffle button. Clicking. Searching.

I once talked to a friend of mine about the symbolism of the search and shuffle buttons in music players and their usage. He basically told me I was complicating what amounts to a human impulse that is no more or less than the urge to stuff our faces when we're hungry and drink when we're thirsty. There's no subtext. It's simply the satisfaction of a basic impulse to feed our brains with variety. I'm inclined to believe him. I took some convincing back then, but I came on board. I still think he's probably correct.

I suppose the main thing is I'm standing at the edge of the abyssal plain again and trying to distract myself from another night of searching, but I know I have to go down there and look for my missing part whether I like it or not. He's still out there. He hasn't come back yet. I feel ridiculous going through the motions as though things are okay when they're not. I don't want to go. I'm lolly gagging. Just come back! I wish I could say that and make it happen, but I have to go and look. What's the plan then? Where do we industrialize? Bits. That's where. Maybe not. That might be shooting too high. I am so fucking angry right now. If I didn't need my face I would cut it up like a ham. Smash my keyboard into it till the keys stuck in my skin. Thinking about carving up my stomach again. It's getting hard to convince myself not to. Not hard as much as its becoming more unreasonable not to. I don't get it. What's inside of there. I want to turn out my pockets so bad.



///The Future Sound of London - "Vit Drowning / Through Your Gills I Breathe"

7/16/10

Worst Song Ever, Part 2:

Worst song ever # PKHM8989JJ3QK5 Oliver Lieb - Subraumstimulation:

Imagine, if you will, a computer. On this computer is a sentient piece of software. This software has access to a library of drum sounds. The software's only reason for existence, is to increase the size of the library by recombining the drum sounds playing those sounds, recording the sounds played as new drum sounds, and then recombining them on and on into infinity. Now imagine that the computer on which this software is running has the utterly massive storage capacity of a single floppy disk. Are you seeing where I'm going with this?


Now imagine also that, by sentience, we are only talking about amoebic sentience; something maybe 8 bits more complicated than on and off. But majestic things have been done with tiny processors and tiny storage, you retort. Now imagine that the software has to learn more complex things by doing them. By the time it can even begin to create anything more complex than what is already in the drum sound library its down to its last handful of free space to make anything compelling. You leave it alone to run for a while, much longer than necessary, but who knows, maybe the ghost in the machine might pull something incredible and unforeseen out of its binary ass.

You come back and play what the program made, but the computer itself is so ancient that there was no space in it's memory to code a cue slider, so you have to listen to everything the software made to get to the interesting part. Several minutes later the moment of truth arrives after listening to numbing variations of the stock drum sounds and then in the last 20 seconds of the longest 5 minutes of your life it does it!! One single extra asynchronous beat mashed in.

And then it's over.



The only thing missing from the whole experience was a nice bucket of wind chimes and some vaguely sensual vocals ripped from the Turner library. If the Hal 9000 ever decided to host a dance party, this is what he would have come up with. BPM should not be mistaken for quality. The two aren't mutually exclusive, but they're more often than not pretty damn close to being so.

8/28/09

worst song ever part 1

worst song ever # POHI0808LAT257 Lilly Allen - Truth:

the last time i heard this much poorly mixed racket i happened to be in the same room as a baby pounding on a late 90s CD stereos button while a collection of lag bolts chewed up a blender and someone else played gta on a tv but kept switching between that and a hockey game while i for some reason kept trying to play an old Tiger handheld game with that old school lcd screen. it was a bad day. and the last time i tried to cure a hangover with lsd.

but seriously... next time you want to make a mash up with street flavor. dont blast air horns over 20 seconds of it and a jay z riff over 60 seconds of it and call it a song.

its like if you roofied missy elliot (to leave her comatose body in a bally total fitness center and hope to god she would take the hint) but somehow she just wouldnt go down so you instead kept her busy at a mixing/sampling board so she wouldnt try to eat you like a large side of ham and then asked jay z to do something iconic, but didnt pay him enough so he sent you a 3 KB sample of a 100 MB song, but you had to use it anyway since it cost you 30000 dollars of the money you were supposed to spend on your tuition and you had missy make a track with it except that while you were mixing some random pot smoking emo chick with a british accent and a "real world attitude" wandered into your bedroom slash music studio and started to sing an r and b song that kind of slouched into spoken word but got bored and left in the middle to go smoke pot so missy just played her favorite instrument, the compressed air horn, to wrap the song up in the absence of any actual substance.


thats how unbelievably bad it is.

and by contrast

///Menomena - "twenty cell revolt" is just that awesomely good. when was the last time you felt happiness in simplicity?

7/25/07

change the channel 07/25/07

Subject : change the channel
Posted Date: : Jun 25, 2007 7:53 PM

alright so im basically complaining again, but its legitimate this time. i swear. on my eventual grave.

america is raising a bunch of pussy ass punk bitch kids. and the most pussy punk ass bitchiest of the bunch are the ones that are gonna run things. just think about it. all those emo mother fuckers who sware ... or is it swear... whatever... who sware they cant deal with life for a single additional day or that everyday is the worst day mankind has witnessed to date are likely not so weak willed because they cant change but probably because all the shit they listen to tells them to be miserable. its like high fidelity... except there is no ambiguity. music is making people miserable, fearful, shallow, and worthless.

kids are afraid to speak up for themselves. kids are afraid to be different from what industry tells them to be. theyre fearful of so many things that have no bearing on real life. theyre distraught over emotions that dont matter. and theyre hateful over differences that are purely cosmetic. they have goals that are pipe dreams and engineered stories designed to sell unsustainable lifestyles. and they see themselves as warriors in fights that dont exist. its more than a manipulation of emotion for effects that can be enjoyable or inspirational or cathartic or whatever the hell you wanna call it. its basically creating ideology for children. yaaaay. childeology. copyright. true story.

its not all music either... duh... its just that the people with half a brain to change the channel instead of being brain washed by recycled beats and redundant guitar riffs have better things to do than try to reform a music market for the masses who are so geared into their own worthlessness to accept that things could be different.

your music is offensive and your brain is under utilized. please see vh1, cmt, bet, and mtv top "music" countdowns for further examples. then burn your tv. then buy a new black and white tv and keep it tuned to public access. jerks.

dont eat ice cream all day. itll make you fat and a waste of space. however much it contributes to the GNP.

///del the funky homosapien - "3030" quality 7 minute anthem. listen to it. rebuild something. more and better and different music to come. for serious.