Dear (_____)

Dear work,

It's been a blast spending so much time with you, but I must admit I miss spending more time at home.  You've turned me into the bread winner and the dissatisfied spouse rolled into one when I get home too tired to masturbate.  "Are you feeling frisky tonight?"  First of all: no.  Second of all: some of us have to work for a living and I'd appreciate it if you cleaned up around here while I'm out, if it's not too much to ask.  Thirdly: I have to go back to work in the morning so I don't feel like tiring myself out further trying to have an orgasm for an hour while you shove toys inside me because you can't do it yourself.  "Alright, jeez.  Sorry I asked.  Good-@#$%-ing-nite."  You keep me busy, which is great, but I'm looking forward to seeing other people.  If you're offended, be so and it is personal and I don't expect and I will not ask you to be understanding.  If we were married it'd be a different story, but we're not.  I don't want to end our friendship.  I believe we will need to change how we spend our time to keep our friendship going.

sincerely,

xoxo