Dear (____)

Dear Crystal Light,

I do not dislike your appletini flavor.  It's kind of good.  You could have gone with red instead of neon Ghost Busters green or toxic waste Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtules toxic ooze green, but I'm sure the committee had something on their mind when it got green lit, no pun intended.  I would submit that some of us cannot afford apple juice.  It's expensive, kinda like orange juice.  Or any juice, for that matter.

Could you consider, perhaps, producing an apple flavored zero calorie product, as a black guy trying to die of a few things besides diabetes and looking for a low cost alternative to apple juice that is not bright green, it would be swell to be able to enjoy the apple taste without the cost, because, let's face it, I'm not asking you to try to produce some sort of grape product that tastes like cough syrup, no?  If you can make an appletini that only tastes good when vodka is mixed into it, can you not make an appletini that also tastes legitimately like apples with no vodka mixed into it?  It's not a party all of the time.  And appletini mixes like shit when anything else is involved besides potatoes.  Please get on that horse.

Thanks and yours truly,

former sugar fiend.