Dear (_____)

I'm not checking out your girl.  I could give two shits, but it's not even worth that.  I'm worn out and tired of trying to hide my glances.  Talk to her about it.  Not me.  Skin is skin and rare skin is rarer.  If she flashes it holds my attention the same way the rat man going into the crawl space showing crack catches my eye.  It's nothing personal and in fact is farther from the sun than the dirt beneath my feet, but if you see armpit I'm going to look.  It's not striking fire in my pants anymore than a turtle upside down, but grant me curio.  I don't have a hardy for her bralessness anymore than you do for him in trunks sans wear.  Relax, bro.  Relax.  I came here to fight like you came here to eat glass.  Ain't happening.   However, if you want to throw down for the spirit of putting blood on cement, I'm all in, homie.  Let's go.