dear (______):

Dear Commercials,

I have already sold my soul to the devil for a grilled cheese sandwich. Please find enclosed one non-transferable bill of sale of accumulated equities, futures, and licensure of products, ideas, and orginations past and future. Forwarding address of all further inquiries can be found at the addressee therein undersigned. While we do value your patronage, please cease and desist forthwith as ownership of said item and item's value, monetary and otherwise, are no longer within the scope of my stewardship.

Thanks,

the self improvement venture capital council chief executive officer of the brain caucus

p.s. it was frickin delicious.

brought to you by Kraft singles and the ad council