do you ever wake up

and find yourself encased in ...


... well who really cares. basically ive been feeling kind of weird for the past three days. i keep getting a rising urge to pull my body apart. its not mine. i dont want to be in it anymore. i want to see whats underneath, but the problem is that what im looking for is not going to be found by digging and its frustrating. where did i go? my room is a lot like a cage... with bells to let people know when im moving around. its like privacy without the private part.

so much anger and discomfort and racism and prejudice and mommy daddy issues and anger and splitting and sharp edges and simple machines and spillage and anger and splitting

///angelo badalamenti - "red bats with teeth" its all building and growing into something that makes my intestines ache.