sex laws

heres a quickie for you. youre gonna like this. its that abc family humor we've all come to adore here in america.

chelsea handler.

thats it. thats the joke. get it? shes a train wreck of a human being who has made her fame on drinking fluids like a storm drain and collecting cocks stains on her polymer infused face like ... uhm ... HAH like a sham wow. as seen on tv. look it up. and the best part is shes on late night just in time for you to go to bed and your kids to get up and learn how adults behave. she probably needs to swallow a box of serrated paper clips.

no but the joke... the quickie is... sex laws. right? bear with.

so as guys get to liking a woman more then tend to contain their functions... but as women get to liking men more they tend to release them. so in the final moments before marriage its the guy trying not to rip out the greasiest fart of his life and the girl simply letting the ropey knots of fumes fly faster than cloth coils off a boat chugging out of the hudson bay at full steam and moored at the wrong end.

that analogy was way too long. but i hope it was graphic enough for you to taste the moment. funny, no? no, probably not. i understand. i didnt mean to take you that far along. you probably should have gotten off at chelsea handler. sorry bout that.

///david julyan - "the polaroid fades" that feeling when you notice everyone was laughing minutes ago and now theyre all staring every which way, into every corner of the room, but never at eachother, and you notice your cup has gotten warm from your sweating palm and the room is dingy and its 2.30 in the morning and you dont really know what's keeping you there besides wanting to be a part of someone's life. anyone's life.