hey fuck head

next time you invite guests over, dont block the fucking exit. sure its fun to imagine you have so many friends who like hanging out at your place, but the reality of the situation is most of us dont want to be there but cant leave with your oblivious ass squarely in the way suggesting we try the appetizers and insisting so'n'so that we're good friends with "is totally gonna be here in like ten minutes" .

at least have the decency to leave the back door unlocked. while the grand tour is always nice, dont expect us to fall madly in love with your two room studio. so in love in fact that we actually want to hang around there till 1 am... even though we dont really know you... or like your music... or like the people that do seem to know you... or the fact that you asked everyone to bring beer and the only thing youve provided is a box of fucking ritz crackers and colored napkins and shitty music and no places to sit. dont expect us to hang out till 1am when its not worth it to take the half hour hike to a bar (that'll close in half an hour by the time we get there) and the local trains stop running and the only food we can get is a bag of chips and a pack of smokes from the all night deli... and we're all cranky because the cheap wine has managed to give us all hangovers six hours early and the beer is gone and you didnt even have the sense to buy a pack of cards for entertainment.

no we will not be impressed by the cuteness of your cat and late night reruns of bill cosby while the radio oscilates between nickelback and lil wayne for five fucking hours. how about next time not insisting everyone come to your place for a change?

kthnx.

seriously. whut thu fuck.